Does monogamy exist in the D/s world?

IowaDom​(dom male) • Jul 21, 2020

It had better be bs, because if its not, I have wasted a helluva lotta time looking for one ... lol

ArtfulDodger​(sub female){collared} • Jul 21, 2020

That's bullshit. It's a reflection of HIM, not the D/s lifestyle. But hey, let's face it - people are people; it doesn't matter what lifestyle you embrace - vanilla, kink, LGBTQ, or whatever, there are going to be some people who are monogamous and others who are not. I had a lot of baggage when I got into the lifestyle, too (thanks to a vanilla husband who cheated on me for 20 years), and now I am in a glorious monogamous D/s relationship with a superior Dom. The "Dom" who messaged you sounds like just another ridiculous Insta-dom trying to do a mind-fuck on you.

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Jul 21, 2020

 " Doms who have been very up front about me non being the only one and while we had a tacit agreement not to discuss it" Red flag ^
That wasnt a Dom that was a domboi who messaged you ( one of the down falls of sites like this the vetting process is non existent .. To all those everyone does it a different way your are part of the problem )
1. If you want to be the only one
Or if you have a hard limit(s) no self respecting Dom/me is going to push the issue or call you deluded .
We will simply move on to try to find another match ..
domboi reeks of low key predatory behavior and cheating coward combined..

Monogamy

PawPawGirl​(sub female){Azzabackam} • Jul 21, 2020

I am the first to admit that I like to flirt but when it comes down to it, I don't share...not even as a hinge or closed triad.

There were "flirty" relationships that had the potential to become more, and those were the ones that I needed to let go for the sake of my relationship with my Dom. He more than satisfies me, and being emotional/relational beings, it becomes a slippery slope, for me at least, when I don't focus solely on him.

And let's face it, knowing someone was with him before me makes me jealous...i don't think I could deal with any concurrent subs. I want to be the only one who pleases him, to be the one he thinks of first thing in the morning and the last thing he thinks of at night...and many times in between, because he has come to mean everything to me.

So to answer your question...yes, there is monogamy within a BDSM relationship for many of us.

Calico​(switch female) • Jul 22, 2020

I would hope not. My partner and I are monogamous and I would like it to stay that way. I dont share very well

Master Bastian • Jul 22, 2020

I was the past 3 years a monogamous Dom to my slave. For her it was very important so we even included this into the contract we signed.

I don't know if I even had enough time for a 2nd slave.
As long the relationship is enjoyable for both, there is no need to be polygamous.

SirYesSir​(dom male) • Jul 22, 2020

I say this often but many (all?) of us are here because the "rules" of mainstream society didn't fit. I will set my own rules, thank you very much. (Outside of SSC, of course.)

If I was to presume to give advice to anyone, it would be very simple...

If you're happy embrace it.
If you're unhappy, change it.
In ALL cases, think for yourself.
Decide for yourself what is best for you.

IMHO, those are really the only "rules."

Notely • Jul 24, 2020

Still exist everyone does it different I live a 1950's lifestyle with D/s in present moment with being strong willed. A fool with narcissist ways will try to manipulate feel they like to take a away power not let women be independent or have a say that is so wrong that abusive this when women walk away from a jerk like that. Civil rights women have rights as submissive is human not a animal meant of being strong and use her voice have a brain. Women not a object but a beautiful goddess in divine light. You have right to your own boundaries and desires takes the right person to respect yours on the same page. One for one the yin and the yang about balance evolving together.


I know some poly and couples that also believe in traditional ways they would never force someone be with them, Only one that forces because they are desperate they got mad because the person was independent with their mind that anger them so they had to come up something cold a narcissistic will never change they better of alone.


You can't dictate to a woman what should make her feel sexy' - Dita Von Teese

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • Jul 24, 2020

It exists in the D/s....if both you and your partner are monogamous. My impression is that poly people seem to expect all their wants to be filled and are comfortable with multiple people doing it; mono people seem to expect enough of their wants met to be happy and seek out one person to do that.

For example: Master is never going to take salsa dancing lessons with me, but he will watch Film Noir movies on the couch with me. I am monogamous, so I settle for the movies instead of looking for a dance partner.

In the case of the OP, however, it sounds like a case of someone being upset about standards that they don’t meet. A Dom who doesn’t accept a no isn’t a Dom worth having.

Muffin • Jul 25, 2020

I am monogamous. I am a Dom. I have made a point of listing that fact first in my profile and that I do not want to be approached for a relationship. I still get ass****s messaging me calling me mistress (which I clearly state in my profile to only use my username). I block anyone who does because if the adresser cannot respect my stated status I have no interest in anything else they might have to say.