HisHunnyBun(sub female){Taken}
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3 years ago •
May 30, 2020
tallslenderguy wrote: House Talion wrote: Unless you find someone that enjoys doing stuff to themselves as ordered by others, it might not work out. Video chat is good
i get this. i have a whole drawer full of toys that i almost never use that i bought in a fit of wishing and imagination. Even video chat is a frustration for me. Doing stuff to myself, using toys on myself, putting myself in a chastity cage, wearing stuff, all feels fake for me, like i am trying to top or dom myself. It almost feels disrespectful to the D/s dynamic to me. But that is me and i know we are all wired differently, even if we share enough similarities to come up with general labels like "Dom" or "sub." i have had several Dom's approach me and want to virtually dom me. i have tried a few times thinking i may be doing something wrong, but i have come to understand i need the actual presence of a person to go beyond a certain level. i am very much into the written word (as evidenced by some of my long posts, and those are often the edited versions lol), but i cannot pull off a full on relationship with no physical connection. Having said that, the written word can be a bfd for me, but it's more like foreplay than an end in itself. i also think writing is a great medium for getting to know a person, but i don't think it can serve as a complete method of connection or relationship. Totally agree!! Online is a good way to meet someone but I do want to eventually meet in real life! Need that connection. |
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Online now
NCarraway(dom male)
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3 years ago •
May 30, 2020
Re: About online dom/sub sessions Munchy wrote: I have been in this lifestyle for the last three years and may have become accustomed to the real, physical process. However, due to this pandemic, I've been keeping out of the virtual/over the net sessions as well has not having the physical solace of an actual session. Does anyone actually do online sessions, and what are they like, and how do i get experience in it?
I've had some experience with this, although almost always within the context of a current or developing D/s relationship. I find in such a circumstance the emotional connection and rapport developed allows magic to happen. Mostly my toolkit is voice based, sometimes reading to my partner, sometimes reviewing how things have gone and making plans for how we want the dynamic to develop, sometimes its instruction guided touching when I just have to have her. I have done some video chat based play but not too graphic. My instinct is that this would not work for me unless I had a solid dynamic in place. I am fortunate in that i practice hypnosis kinks within relationships and that has been an incredibly useful tool over lockdown... all the way from come on command to allowing her to feel my physical presence on her and in her. You can similarly have your partner smell and taste you but this is easier if they have real memories to access. You should not discount text either. I have had partners where if I start counting, say from x to y, over the course of maybe 2 minutes, that they need to get to a private place before I give an instruction. For me this is usually come on command but there is no reason you couldn't use it in different ways, masturbation etc. The key here is the build up, the anticipation, the feeling of overwhelming inevitability. Text is good for that. Its innocent and innocuous on the surface but your partner will never know when the message comes or what it will say. We have also used Royal Mail a number of times and this has been a great way to stay physically connected. You get the touch of objects, the scent of each other, the experience of the physicality. It doesnt have to be kinky, it can just be something personal. Just before lockdown we also started a sweater exchange where i would wear a sweater for a while and then hand it over unwashed and apparently 'Sirry' - she is a big fan and i suspect there might be some sweaters I might not get back 
One of the good things about online relationships is that you are pushed into being innovative. If you are innovative then there is a great deal you can do. |
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slaveMikayla(sub female){MstrJ }
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3 years ago •
May 30, 2020
^ to the above... you bet. Those tactile items are a lifesaver. Absolutely.
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skyrich(dom male){rottenbrat}
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3 years ago •
May 30, 2020
Wow,
@PhoenixGirl JuicyJess is absolutely correct. I have a few posts in this section of the forum that might be useful. (Or you could look at the first 3 entries in my blog where I've repeated those forum posts.) The titles are, in my blog an in the forum: Responsibility Commitment And in my blog: Some definitions -- an explanation of the abbreviations and terms that I use. Begin a submissive doesn't mean submitting to anyone who claims to be a dom. He needs to earn that, and it shouldn't be easy. |
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Sculpther(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Jul 18, 2020
In my humble opinion, I believe someone should write a book entitled " bdsm for dummies" complete with red flag lists for both dominant and submissive with a chapter about a "relationship as co-operative endeavor " complete with forward entitled. No, fifty shades is not a handbook and the words "dynamic and relationship" are synonymous.
There is never a bdsm dynamic actually present if there is no presence of a relationship first. You may feel capable of relationship with no knowledge or substance to build upon, I am not able to. You can play at dominance if a sub shows you a trigger but what are you doing? You're playing, big difference between that and living. Let's try to inject some actual cause and effect into our interactions instead of cause and react. Again, just my opinion for what it's worth. |
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Aquarius Dom(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Jul 20, 2020
The key for me has always been capture the mind and imagination, weave a web of needs and desires, let their mind wander through it like a good book !
The joy of online is that you can explore things you would be hesitant to in real life. Without the issue of waking up in bed to someone shackled to your bed. For me the online role play in a relationship is a valuable training aid that can easily be turned into actions as and when a real liaison actually takes place !! |
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DarkangelEf(sub female){Property o}
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3 years ago •
Aug 16, 2020
Re: About online dom/sub sessions Munchy wrote: I have been in this lifestyle for the last three years and may have become accustomed to the real, physical process. However, due to this pandemic, I've been keeping out of the virtual/over the net sessions as well has not having the physical solace of an actual session. Does anyone actually do online sessions, and what are they like, and how do i get experience in it?
yes i have use the online session many times and before covid my master is captain on a ship and many months away from greece we have some routines some tasks and the months pass like a click |
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