Body types

Body types

Sub_Hannah922​(sub female) • May 29, 2020

Anyone else (subs mostly) feel like Dom's are super picky when it comes to body types? I'm a curvy woman myself, and every single Dom I talk to, when I tell them I'm curvy, immediately say that they aren't into curvy women. Like I get that you can have a preference, it's just kinda hurtful because you'd think a community like this one would be more accepting of everyone and everything.

Mama Bear JJ​(dom female){koa} • May 29, 2020

I'm a BIG girl ... and I've never had any experiences where someone here has had an issue with my body. I'm upfront about it, they can see it from my pictures. Hell it's even part of the reason for my name.

Maybe it's just a case of those who don't like it not contacting me, but I get lots of messages from Dom's, Switches, and subs alike ... so I don't think that's the case.

And ... from what I saw during the shape of you challenge that numerous women, myself included, took part in last week in the blogs ... there are LOTS of men and women here who (1) either don't have an issue with someone bigger and/or (2) aren't judgmental about people who are bigger.

Not sure why you are having bad experiences ... maybe you are just interacting with the wrong people. There are a few bad seeds, and they tend to be louder in your inbox ... but the majority of people here are awesome. Look for those that have blogs or forum posts at the bottom of their profiles ... the more active ... and you should do alright

dollMaker​(dom male) • May 29, 2020

Love curvy women, and I have been involved with a number of such over the years.

I dont myself go after any particular body types preferring a mental connection over any visual preferences, as the foundation upon which to build a dynamic. There are many shallow people in the world and alas the bdsm community is no different to the vanilla one in that regard.

I recall the shock many had when I posted an image of a curvy doll (its in my profile images) as they had thought wrongly that a doll had to be a thin willowy cliche. For me any body type can be a doll, its headspace, the mental connection not the body type that makes a doll for me. So anyone can be a doll.

Those doms rejecting curvy subs, their loss but those subs are being saved from getting involved with shallow close minded people, and who wants to be around people like that.

Bunnie • May 29, 2020

In all honesty, I’ve really only seen mostly body positivity here. This seems to be one area where we do all come together and support and encourage and embrace each other. It’s quite lovely

So, I’m sorry you have experienced this (obviously I don’t know what goes on in private conversation). But my point is... I think you’ll find that there are many many Dom/mes and subs here who embrace beauty on a soul level rather than a physical level.

Having said that... it is ok for people to have their preferences. But remember too... preferences can come in all shapes and sizes.

Either way, I tend to see it as best to find out early, so that you can both move on and find what you’re seeking good luck! and welcome

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • May 29, 2020

I know you said Dom but do bi Dommes count? Just in case the do, I'll throw in my 2 cents. I'm attracted to confidence...or maybe that's the wrong word. I'm attracted someone that is comfortable within themselves and their actions. If that air of comfort is in their choices and movements ....I'm attracted to them.
Like Bunny said I've found here to be very body shape positive. I've found the community in general to be accepting of size, In fact there kinks and fetishes built around size within the community.

*dons on flame proof leather dragon skin XL corset*

Reading your profile,. I read you 18. I wonder how many are younger males contacting you? And just how many have the experience that goes with Dominance or are actually Dominant. There are some (not all) that assume with the rise of Female submissive (due to that damn book) that the label of "Female submissive" equates to "easy to get, with not much effort"
Additionally with freely available porn the female portrayed is more often than not some overly skinny vapid made up to within an inch of life, overly visually appealing pretty nymphet. The image of this kind of submissive is pretty rare in the real BDSM world as we are REAL people not porn stars ....but to get where I'm going with this....not many horny males,18 to 30 year old get that (put down that pickfork! I didn't say all).

Hang in there. You will find as learn to filter out the crud, there are some GREAT and WORTHY of the title of Male Dom here that will want, what you offer up to them.

Azzabackam​(switch male){PawPawGirl} • May 29, 2020

I'm a dude. I'm in dude circles of conversation. I can say, with certainty, that you've just gotten really unlucky with who you've struck up conversation with. I have my preferences, but I'm still open to pretty much any body type. And the vast majority of men I've made friends with are the same.

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • May 29, 2020

Seconding what Azz just said there.

Likewise, I'm a dude. I am attracted to: Intelligence, humor, wit, industry, compatibility. I don't really care what her body type is, as long as she makes an effort to take care of herself, and be healthy.

Conversely, I'm not attracted to: stupidity, dullness, laziness and incompatibility. I just can't be attracted to a woman who doesn't take care of herself first and foremost.

Just to clarify what I mean there: I recently saw a documentary about a woman who weighed in at 600 lbs, (272 kg, or about 43 stone). Her weight wasn't the issue. It was the fact that she hadn't left her couch, not even to go to the bathroom in 5 years. There were feces and urine all over the place. Her skin had grown into the fabric to the point that they had to cut her out of the couch. Her health was very seriously compromised by the resulting infections, caused by such indolence. Not attractive at all.

BigBubbles • May 29, 2020

Oh I think you've just had rotten luck with who you have spoken to. And I'm sorry for that. I am a bigger woman at 5'3 257lbs. I promise you the true men care more about what's inside then outside. But a lot definitely like the curvy girls like us. Just be patient and the right ones will come along. I've no doubt you're beautiful on the inside AND outside. Hugs