One or t'other...?

One or t'other...?

SkyV​(dom male) • Jun 5, 2020

To: Subs/slaves ~
A man who is willing to work more to keep you, or less, to spend extra time with you: Which do you really want?

slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } • Jun 5, 2020

Quality time. Always.
I can see the conundrum, and I'm fairly certain the responses will fall along how well acquainted someone is with their love language.
So for people who hear love in: time, acts of service, and physical touch would likely fall in the "work less see me more" side
whereas people who fall into the gifts would clearly fall into the "work more provide better" range.

That being said, it all depends on the base safety and needs being met and still being able to "work less spend more time."

WholesomeWhore​(switch female){SwellDaddy} • Jun 5, 2020

Most definitely extra time, materialistic things hold little appeal to me... although, if it was the case that more time at work meant better quality time at home (less non-work requirements e.g. housework, cooking, fixing things, etc.) then that may be desirable

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jun 5, 2020

Wow, good question!

i find the idea of a Man's labor being used to "keep" me offensive. Not generally speaking, put personally. i have been in the long term position of feeling like a paycheck, and it left it's mark. i would never want another person to feel that way.
i do understand that a person can want to provide, to "keep" another, but that is a gift to my way of thinking, not an expectation or entitlement i would ever want to have.
i want my Top/Dom to work as much or little as they need/want, i would not want them to feel pressure (from me) one way or the other. Seriously, i hate a quid quo pro relationship, i want Him to feel fulfillment in HIs own will, not mine.

Time spent with me, if He'd rather be working, or time spent working if He'd rather be with me, is time misspent by my accounting.

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • Jun 5, 2020

Velvet said it ..QUALITY TIME.

If you don't have the means to make the time you have together special ..then it's just passing time.
If working less makes things difficult and a struggle financially then it has to be work, after all doesn't absence make the hear grow fonder?

timinsmarts​(other male) • Jun 5, 2020

There's a really good book called "Stumbling on Happiness" it won't tell you how to be happy, it is just a really good literature review on all the psychological research on happiness and contentment and the data on money is pretty clear. Money does make you happy - up to about 50,000 a year. Enough to not have to worry about money. After that the impact of money on happiness declines very sharply. In short the money that lifts you out of poverty and frees you from the grinding worry of debt and not having enough money has a huge impact on happiness. After that - meh! Other things become more important . Debt and money worries are great stressors on relationships so if any lover or partner is working hard to keep the wolf from the door, the cupboards full of food, the bills paid then I would appreciate them - but once that is done take the time, always.

PawPawGirl​(sub female){Azzabackam} • Jun 6, 2020

The man who got off work early, drove 6 hours to spend 2 days with her...called to make sure she was safe...how can she not adore such a man? Who needs material things when there is someone who accepts you for who you are, makes you feel desired, and touches every part of you, down to the core. How can a woman not submit every part of her to that man?

Dollars and sense...

SkyV​(dom male) • Jun 6, 2020

I assume that is per single adult, that married couples not concerned with children would feel the need of less income due to pooled resources and that planning for/having children would require an additional sum of yearly income per child.

Personally, my magic number is $35k gross. Which includes about $10k for $avings. I do have a semi-retired parent to subsidize though, so I would want another 5k as cushion for the next several years. Another 10-15k for marriage(or Mastery). Another 8-10k per if - heaven forbid - children became an...issue.

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • Jun 7, 2020

As "timinsmarts" said, the value of money, (in terms of happiness), declines rapidly at some point. It's not a hard $50,000, but rather at the point where the lack of money is not causing continual stress, plus a bit more for some "disposable income". So, enough money to pay the bills, and stay out of debt, as much as is possible, plus some luxuries from time to time. More money after this contributes very little to happiness.

I'd rather have time with my girl than over-working, being stressed out, and everything that goes with it. After all, shes in my life to be a stress reducer, what kind of fool would I be to not take advantage of such an asset?