Domestic Discipline

Domestic Discipline

GagFan​(sub male) • Dec 21, 2020

Hey I'm curious what people think about giving or receiving domestic discipline from your significant other or potential significant other.

I myself am interested in more dominant authoritative men and am interested in receiving domestic discipline from a significant other.

GagFan​(sub male) • Dec 21, 2020

Bump

MountaintopMaster • Dec 21, 2020

For me, it all comes down to which category the discipline falls into: punishment, or "funishment"?

Many people for example, when they first enter BDSM, discover to their surprise that they actually LOVE being spanked. It turns out, being spanked is the best foreplay ever! Thus, you can do it all you want with your significant other, and it's just a kink that you engage in, not actually a discipline.

So, "funishment" is all wonderful, usually. Go nuts and pleasure each other in kinky ways!

When it comes to "actual" discipline, things get interesting, of course.

A lot of it has to do with the timetable of how your relationship was built. Were you vanilla for years, and are just now adding some BDSM to it? Best to take it one tiny scenario at a time, and always give room for open communication & understanding. IE, "not now, honey, I had an exhausting, shitty day and I need us to just be spouses for a minute, OK?"

Eventually, you might add as much BDSM as you want to your daily lives, but it all depends on how you get there comfortably without faking it just for the sake of your spouse, etc.

Alternately, if you're building an entire relationship/marriage on the foundation of having some kinks in common, then you might be able to go nuts with discipline and keep that 24/7 dynamic fueled, but just be ready for the opposite issue to eventually arise--when you run out of crazy kinky new things to do, have you built a stable, long-term, everyday relationship that you can feed off of, too? Or have you found a balance of D/s that allows you to get through life day in and day out without getting bored of the same go-to kinks?

TLDR, it's complicated, but once you know where you're coming from, and have some serious talks about the long-term sustainability and goals of the relationship, you'll be fine, no matter how fast or slow you take things!

amalthea​(sub female){Mr Gregory} • Dec 22, 2020

I like funishments and love spanking as foreplay so it doesn't work for me as discipline. I am not opposed to Domestic Disciine and can help maintain the power dynamic that is craved. But, like anything in this world, communication and negotiation are the key.

GagFan​(sub male) • Dec 22, 2020

What kind of things do you think would be good domestic discipline techniques?

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Dec 22, 2020

Personally, stuff like domestic discipline and punishment do not connect with or evoke the sub in me.

i do not see discipline and punishment as synonymous. To me, just the idea of punishment shuts me down, closes me up and causes me to retreat. If employed ignorantly by a bully, they might get an unexpected response of equal or greater degree. i suspect that has something to do with being bullied a lot as a kid before i learned to hide my sub nature. As an adult, i practiced martial arts for 25 years, probably as a sort of repair mechanism.

Weirdly perhaps, as MountaintopMaster notes, i am one of those who is aroused by the idea of being spanked. But it's gotta be a certain type, what i perceive as 'affectionate spanking.' A sort of mind fuck approach that combines a gentle demeanor and alternate petting, comforting in the process. One part opens me for the other part and i perceive that more as a type of discipline than punishment.

One form of domestic discipline i think would draw me in is exercise, body toning, and diet (i.e., eating healthy). Those are both things where i could be Dommed in a way that connects and bonds me with a Guy who wanted that with me. He's have to be the type that serves as an example though, not someone who didn't practice what He preached. i'd find that hypocritical and would find it hard to respect someone like that. i have the same response to someone who wants me to be a domestic slave if they are doing so out of laziness vs control.

And that may be the core of it for me, i might respond submissively to just about anything that pleases my mate, depending on His motive and disposition. I'd prolly melt and run to wash the dishes if i perceived it truly gave Him pleasure based on a kink need/desire in Him. i would not respond well to being a replacement for his mom, that speaks of immaturity to me, about the opposite end of the spectrum from the power that evokes submission in me.

Quirkyrebel​(sub female) • Dec 22, 2020

I'm sick of reading about how punishment just harms people and makes them inferior to you! People just don't understand why people like to get hurt! I'm going to step over nice people for that! I mean if they want to feel bad for me or get angry because I hit my knee and bruised it on the counter!

I sense more babies in 2020. Some cry from being in quarantine. Others cry because whips scare the hell out of them! I mean seriously, my kink is not your kink! So I'm not interested in the debate for this forum topic!

Patriarchs please!

Kitzer​(sub female) • Dec 23, 2020

I think some people may have a need for this sort of dynamic in their lives and so for them this dynamic would be a gift because it can help them to maintain themselves and do better.

The issue now a days is that we're taught we have to be fiercely independent or there's something wrong with us. And equally we're taught letting someone take control of us in this way is wrong. But if someone's truely struggling with the handles, what's so wrong about letting someone else take the reigns? Some of us could really use that study hand and direction and shouldn't have to feel shameful for those inherent weaknesses.

Now I'll also mention that there's a big difference between discipline and abuse that needs to be observed. Abusive behavior is anything inflicted upon someone out of rage/frustration. Discipline is a tool you use to help modify bad/unwanted/unhealthy behaviors for the betterment of your subs and your dynamics.

mikebradsrv​(dom male) • Dec 23, 2020

I've seen my sub really get into domestic after she made it known she wanted to be better about it. I was slow to change in that direction and f'd it up. Now she acts out at the mention of domestic, my fault entirely. But it does make sense for someone to want help in accomplishing a goal they may not be self disciplined enough to easily achieve, regardless the goal. "Start a business", "have a nice home", "start a garden", "learn to play guitar", whatever. If you really care, you should support her goals.