Male sub insubordination

Male sub insubordination

ChampagneDomme​(dom female){N/A} • Jun 16, 2021

Why is it male subs feel a need to critique, and go against what a Domme wants from her subservient? Especially being gifted, and doted on... Appreciation beyond the boudoir, makes real what happens in the boudoir. Expound.

acquiesced​(sub male) • Jun 16, 2021

The sorting hat was not good to you.

I_am_the_Sea​(sub male){One Day} • Jun 16, 2021

Maybe he is trying but you are not recognizing his love language.
~I_am_the_Sea

SageFlame​(sub female) • Jun 16, 2021

Critique - that would be irritating if not asked for even outside a dynamic!

Feedback - communication goes two ways, if it is one sided that is not a dynamic. It might be possible that time for feedback is not clear ie the when. It is possible ( and without any context in your post) that he is triggered. Triggers can happen even when not recognized as such. They can cause behavior that is undesirable.

Males - hmm not sure what would be specific to a male sub in this context. ( or lack of context)

New subs have much to learn. New - to - you subs have much to learn. A sub that continues to resist even with great communication and established connection I would ask why your still keeping him around.

Have fun with the learning curve!

House Talion​(dom male) • Jun 17, 2021

Male subs can be worse brats than female ones.

SageFlame​(sub female) • Jun 17, 2021

@House Talion
"Male subs can be worse brats than female ones."

This came to mind while I was driving today. This is certainly a valid reason!

MelMell​(dom female) • Jun 17, 2021

Frankly I wonder this too and I think it comes with upbringing and society’s expectations of men and women. Men are put on a dominant position while women are put on a submissive position. We can all agree that this isn’t always so but because of the roles society places on people, it can be hard to separate from it. I find male subs to be a bit of a handful and tend to snap back as most are very alpha in their every day life. Female subs on the other hand seem much more obedient. I won’t say that there aren’t extremely obedient male subs as I have met a few but frankly they are an extreme I do not like. They are no more than puppets and I find no fun in that.
I have found that communication is quite important when your sub is doing something you don’t want them to do. You gotta tell them they are doing something that doesn’t please you and you have to be firm. Punish them if you must so they learn you mean business. With men, you have to be stronger and more decisive to show who’s boss. And it isn’t them.

Gentlemancomply • Jun 17, 2021

The simple thought of a female punishing a male by slapping, choking, hitting, even disrespecting him expressing she rules and demands submission is the most attractive interaction to me I find it difficult to exspress.

LeashCalledLove​(sub male){__________} • Jun 17, 2021

Critique is one thing - it's not a sub's place to critique why their Dominant should/shouldn't want something - only how it makes them feel. They should make an effort to express how they feel, but not without a serious effort to understand why their Dominant is making that demand/request.

So, for example, if they are balking at the idea of giving regular gifts, it could be they're wary of being used as a piggy bank, when their Dominant just wants some thoughtful totems as an expression. Anyone (theoretically) can throw money at someone, but a large component of gift-giving is the thought and effort put into researching/making/obtaining/presenting the item.

Like most things in life, money can complicate kink; some people get a thrill from reckless/unrequited spending or being a sugar sub, and I'm not about to criticize those that do, especially if they have the means. But some people, men especially given gender roles and the nature of the scene, are wary of being scammed or think that money crosses a line and makes the dynamic less authentic. But, like any relationship, platonic or otherwise, gift-giving is completely normal, and I personally believe, barring poverty, is reasonable to expect from a long-term D/s dynamic, and would actually welcome someone explicitly asking me to give them gifts rather than pretending not to want them.

Villanelle​(staff) • Jun 17, 2021

It's probably a good time to again remind everyone that we do not allow the solicitation of money, gifts, subscriptions, etc. here on THE CAGE. Doing so will result in removal from the site. Subs, if you see it, use our confidential report system to let us know. Just click the report button on a user's page.

We appreciate that financial control may be an aspect of established D/s relationships. However we do not allow individuals to use this site as a way to simply exploit submissives for financial gain.