Breakdown in communications
2 months ago • May 22, 2022
Dressing(dom male) • May 22, 2022
I just lost a "friend".
It honestly came as a bit surprise for me. I met them with the intention to play games (video games) with them, and the first time we played everything was fine and super fun. But then I got too excited and was hoping to play more. I asked when they had more time to play, and they said later that day, but the person ended up playing with other people. So I said "no worries" and tried to calm my excitement.
What followed was several days of me asking (not all the time) if the person wanted to play. And slowly the person just stopped responding, or acknowledging that I had asked if they wanted to play. Mind you this was over a couple of days where I asked once or twice a day, and I was mindfully trying really hard not to be annoying or pushy because I knew how excited to play I was. The person never said no, they just said later or didn't respond when I asked. Finally they said that they would definitely be able to play during the weekend, and I was excited to play together.
The weekend comes and the person doesn't invite me even once, and ends up playing other games. Fair enough I think. I then leave them alone for a few days.
After hearing nothing from them, I decide to come clean about my feelings in the hope that we would be able to play again. I figured it was better to try and explain, rather than just keep going like we were. So I tell the person that I would much rather they just plainly said they weren't in the mood to play, and didn't promise to play with me when they didn't really want to. I told them it was a bit hurtful to my feelings when they ignored my messages where I had asked if they wanted to play, and I thought that maybe I could get through to them.
What follows is the person saying that they have other stuff that they are doing, and other games they want to play. And then that they were taking a break from the cage.
Confused I respond that, I know they had other stuff that they wanted to do, which is why I wanted them to just tell me so I didn't walk around thinking we would play when the person didn't want to. I also don't know why they brought up the cage, and commented that I didn't see what playing games and being on the cage had to do with each other.
Bear in mind that I tried my HARDEST to still make it clear that I wanted the person to relax and have fun if they had been busy or stressed, and that I would be down to try some of the games they had been playing, or just play in general, at any time.
I then get a reply where I am told I am not adult enough to handle my own interactions, and that I should rethink my "position" on the cage. That I didn't know the person at all, and that I shouldn't try to get on their ass for ignoring me. They then say I didn't even try to get to know them, that they were busy, and that they were taking a break from the cage because "people like you expect too much from a girl just trying to find an actual relationship". I am then called an "ass that says he wants straight communication when it's clear you haven't tried to get to know me or even try to communicate with me". The person also said I had been welcome to join in on the games that they were playing with their friends.
Not only was I extremely confused by this reply, but I just couldn't believe it. Because everything the person said could be said about them.
At no point had I tried to, or intended, to make it "BDSM" related, or have anything to do with the cage. I just wanted to play games. Worse yet, when I look at our chat log, it was them who straight up had refused to communicate. They said the bare minimum, didn't reply to messages and questions about themselves, and they definitely never tried to get to know me at all. And regarding the "you could've just joined" argument, I didn't own the games / had no interest in them, and even if I did both own them and have an interest, it feels weird if you aren't invited by the ones playing. Or was I supposed to invite myself into a game they were playing with friends?
To me it seems like I tried my goddamn hardest to be as reasonable as possible, but it was actually hurting me to be friends with this person, and I tried to tell them in a calm and reasonable manner. Either this person is so blind that they can't see how they were acting themselves, or they were so stressed out from the cage that they took it out on me. It would obviously be easier to just show the chat log, but that is against the rules, even if you hide the name.
So, with all that said, how far is too far? Is it worth it to stay "friends" with a person who ignores what you said, don't reply and don't speak to you unless you speak first? And when you try to speak up and explain why it's hurtful, they turn it around on you and accuse you of things you never did? I don't know. To me, that doesn't seem like a friend worth keeping. What do you all think?