Hypnosis

Sasa​(dom female) • Jul 20, 2022

I understand your curiosity, but if you don't mind be also slow and cautious with a therapist. Make sure he has not only "years of experience" but also positive results. Not everyone is a Milton Erickson, even if they think they are. If you had good results with self-hypnosis, it is something different than going into a trace and I'm sure you know it. Be safe out there and I hope you get the help you need.

Satindragon • Jul 21, 2022

I normally avoid this topic as it still makes me nervous.

You asked how hypnosis works in a D/s relationship. Speaking as a submissive that was engaged in that type of dynamic for over eight months. I can tell you that part of it was very enjoyable for long distance play. But it turned very ugly when he tried to insert triggers for things that I had told him not to do. He broke my trust and left me so broken that its hard for me to read the word much less type it.

Please see a therapist and follow their recommendations.

I'mME • Aug 13, 2022

@ Satindragon

I'm sorry someone broke your trust you put in them. I hope you are on the road of recovery.

Nonya

Sculpther​(dom male) • Aug 13, 2022

At the risk of pissing off the generalization police, I think I am hearing a bunch of superstition, fear, and very little solid or educated information being posted.

I believe that lumping any group of people into a "one size fits all" category is a grave mistake in that many will take a generalized statement and run with it because it's easy, and, fits the general narrative that they want to embrace whether it is right or wrong.

I have spent countless hours working with victims of abuse because of wannabes that should spend some study time to actually learn something about dynamics rather than run around looking for an ass to smack.

If the shoe fits wear it and take some time for introspection and self examination before you decide what is wrong with everyone else.

Just a thought

B L O N D I E​(sub female) • Aug 13, 2022

I want to offer a word of support for NCarraway. It is possible even to hypnotize oneself and use self-suggestion on yourself to change behavior/perceptions of pain etc. I used self-hypnosis extensively preparing for and delivering all three of my children. Learning this skill was invaluable in improving my life and I have been using it ever since.

This notion that hypnosis is something only a professional can do safely is ridiculous. Hypnosis is about lowering the mind's resistance to certain ideas, but it does not imply that the person being hypnotized will completely turn off their critical thinking process. This is impossible. If the person turns off their critical thinking process to open themselves up to manipulation, abuse, and social pressure from an unscrupulous person, they don't need hypnosis to do it. Most of the time, the victim is already well on the way to doing that without much help from the abuser. If the victim's critical thinking process was working properly, the abuser wouldn't be able to manipulate/pressure them at all because the potential victim would already be alert enough to watch out for it.

Self-suggestion is a perfectly valid form of behavior modification, and if two consenting adults agree that they should do it for each other or one for the other, then the result will be as beneficial or as detrimental as anything else they do, including normal conversation. I agree with NCarraway that hypnosis carries the same risk as any other kink activity, including submission itself.

I'mME • Aug 13, 2022

rieunleashed,

''This is impossible. If the person turns off their critical thinking process to open themselves up to manipulation, abuse, and social pressure from an unscrupulous person,''

I personally have a dislike of the reasons that NCarraway wrote for which he uses hypnosis, that does not make him a unscrupulous Dom, a bad person, or anything along those lines.

The particular part I extracted from your post is not as black and white as you wrote it.

NCarraway specifically wrote about orgasm control specifically as w/ relation to hypnosis. I
can see the very real potential for abuse in that particular side street of hypnosis and D/s.

I'm no expert on hypnosis, nor am I a person who would be susceptible to hypnosis.

I have seen countless profiles by kinksters and Doms, where they talk about their use of hypnosis, touting their expertise. My thoughts are if they are clinically trained then they should not be using it in a personal relationship, if they are not clinically trained, then what purpose would you use it for. The potential for harm used in D/s and BDSM [in a lifestyle that already has enormous potential for abusive situations] does exist and the post on this thread is but just one story about it.

B L O N D I E​(sub female) • Aug 13, 2022

You could be talking about impact play. You could be talking about bondage. You could be talking about the most superficial aspects of domination/submission. You're using exactly the same thinking and logic that the vanilla world uses to demonize BDSM--the potential for abuse/manipulation/harm.

Therapists, doctors, and politicians can manipulate and abuse someone without using hypnosis. Ask anyone who has been emotionally abused. The number of people abusing their partners without hypnosis is vast. A manipulative person doesn't need hypnosis to do great harm, whereas the number of people who have gained great benefit from hypnosis is also incredibly well-documented. Are you going to warn people to only use a trained professional to pray, or meditate, or to listen to soothing music? All of these produce the same effect on the brain as hypnosis and no one is warning anyone of the potential for abuse there although the same risk does exist. Educate yourselves before you attack something you don't understand.

I'mME • Aug 14, 2022

rieunleashed.

I have attacked no one. And furthermore life is FULL OF PEOPLE WHO ABUSE, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OTHERS. I never said different. The only one attacking between what I posted to you and now what you have come back in a whirlwind with fallacy arguments and attack is you.

You have all this evidence of people helped by hypnosis. Okay, would that be folks into BDSM?

You are throwing a bunch of accusatory crap in your post back to me, including the kitchen sink.

I was not aware that I had vilified anyone, please do point that out to me so I can decide if I need to make a correction.

But don't compare me to people putting BDSM down.

I didn't put hypnosis down. You can reread what I wrote. I said I was against what Carrawsy wrote he used it for.

Why not so it the way others do it. Old fashioned paying attention to their sub, and cues and so forth.

What's wrong with that way?


Me thinks you protest too much. All I did was share my personal thoughts which I thought this is what a forum with a discussion was about.

Let me know if that has changed.

And please don't forget to point out where I vilified someone.

I will make a correction if I need to. I have no issue apologizing when I do something wrong.

I will be waiting.

B L O N D I E​(sub female) • Aug 14, 2022

Actually, I was responding to pretty much everyone else who attacked NCarraway and insisted that the only safe way to practice hypnosis was by using a trained therapist which is not true. I was also pointing out that the "potential for abuse" argument which you also used was fallacious.

If you're going to say that hypnosis shouldn't be used for orgasm control because it might be used abusively, then it shouldn't be used for smoking cessation or PTSD or anything else it could be used for, either, because it might be used abusively.

If someone finds hypnosis for orgasm control beneficial or stimulating for their dynamic, I don't see that any third party has a right to say that this is wrong. It might be wrong for your dynamic, but whether it is for his dynamic is between him and his sub. If they have consent, then it's up to them to decide whether it's beneficial or not.

As many have stated, submission is not a license to turn off one's decision-making apparatus. Every sub is responsible for ensuring that everything his/her dom does is within the limits of consent. It's the sub's responsibility as much as the dom's to monitor the dynamic and to stop any activity that would violate consent. Submission is not an excuse to abdicate adult responsibility and any sub who is depending on their dom to make life decisions for them is asking for trouble.

I'mME • Aug 14, 2022

rieunleashed,

For the record, your comment was posted to me earlier. I didn't say Caraway was wrong. I used the word personally, I don't agree with it. Forum question, and I answered for myself.

I spoke about what I have seen in profiles.
I will tell you what the difference could be between someone being hypnotized to cum on on que vs someone bring hypnotized to quit smoking.
A Dom could use that in ways that were not consented to and may not know it right away.
[bc that is what Caraway wrote and I'm not singling him out, to be mean, I'm just giving my personal opinion on my thoughts on using hypnosis in BDSM AND/OR D/s. I have no ill will towards the man, I have read everything he has written on here]

I can't think of a way hypnotizing someone to quit smoking would be coule be used in a abusive manner, why would a clinical hypnotist do that?

Of course anything is possible, except putting a personal opinion out in a forum without it being sliced up and becoming the spawn of Satin.

I have always hr;d the opinion that subs take responsibility for their part in a dynamic. I also hold that is true on play dates, pick up play and everything in between.

I think they should educate themselves as much as they can.
I know I have been stupid in believing someone and not putting a stop to things. I take full responsibility for being an idiot. It won't happen again.