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Confused and Hurting

NoelM​(sub female)
1 week ago • Jan 24, 2023

Confused and Hurting

NoelM​(sub female) • Jan 24, 2023
I recently was invovled with a Domme who was great, but after I asked her for a few minuets to calm down she blocked me and hasn't responded to any of my texts. She told me that she was my safe place and that i could trust her to always be there. I feel like I did something wrong and I am empty and numb and confused. What the hell did I do Wrong?
Sensualgent​(dom male)
1 week ago • Jan 24, 2023
Sensualgent​(dom male) • Jan 24, 2023
Hi, Noel,

I'm sorry you are going through this pain. When did it happen, how long has it been ?
In any case you don't deserve to be treated like this.
I'm happy to chat if that would help and you are welcome to message my inbox if you wish or talk on here.

G
Solace​(dom male)
1 week ago • Jan 24, 2023
Solace​(dom male) • Jan 24, 2023
Hello NoelM,

I am also sorry you've experienced this. Dynamics are all very different, but the strongest branch of the hypothetical tree is to treat you better than that. It is absolutely fine to request space. I am unsure of your experience but you may be aware that this is exactly what safe words are for and they are to be used at any time the need arises. Essentially they are exactly what you asked for: stop everything, give space.

It won't make the pain go away, but this change seems healthy for you. Take the time you need to recover emotionally and develop a fresh perspective of your needs in the next dynamic. If you can do so without bitterness or resentment, the wisdom you've gained though painfully won will help you. I don't believe the domme was right for you, and in my humble opinion right for anyone. Should she reach out to you again, you might feel the allure of going back, but I caution against reverting to someone who would inflict that level of emotional damage to you.

You've done nothing wrong. You are still a valuable person. Wait till the hurt goes away and keep trying.
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Miki
1 week ago • Jan 24, 2023
Miki • Jan 24, 2023
Not much cofort, I'm sure but if she reacted like that to a simple request for space... she wasn't going to be worth it anyway. That demonstrated a clear cut case of immaturity on her part.

Outside of play in some dynamics, no one is anyone e'se's property... or pet.

It'll take time, it'll hurt for a while but over time you'll realize this wasn't going to work anyway. Sooner or later this cowardly ghosting act would have happened. Actually best it did now than down the road as your feelings got stronger.
I'mME
1 week ago • Jan 25, 2023
I'mME • Jan 25, 2023
Miki wrote:
Not much cofort, I'm sure but if she reacted like that to a simple request for space... she wasn't going to be worth it anyway. That demonstrated a clear cut case of immaturity on her part.

Outside of play in some dynamics, no one is anyone e'se's property... or pet.

It'll take time, it'll hurt for a while but over time you'll realize this wasn't going to work anyway. Sooner or later this cowardly ghosting act would have happened. Actually best it did now than down the road as your feelings got stronger.



Yep, the 'Domme' obviously lied when they called themselves a safe space.