BAN SILENT BLOCKS!!!.. the site needs to be updated.

BAN SILENT BLOCKS!!!.. the site needs to be updated.

EclecticRhetoric​(dom male) • Mar 31, 2023

SIlent block is defined as a block where no response was originated just empty blocking. Why do people do it? People do it because they feel they are afraid or uncomfortable with responding so it is easier to just block the person. What it looks like in reality? It looks like a form of discrimination because the other party unjustifiably ignores the person or limits contact with no communication. Where is this also seen at? In cyberbullying, prevention of access to groups, being ignored, and being judged leads to loneliness, abandonment, and anxiety. Despite being a bdsm site, adults young and old still encounter the same positive and negative social cues. What are the long term affects? Depression, confusion, and denial ,and self loathing. How is body shaming different than silent blocking? It is not, both pass judgement before getting to know the person, however body shaming is publicly known and, therefore. has a stance against it. Body shaming has been known to cause depression, anxiety, and body dysmorphia.
Solution:
Site would require a (blocker) person to report the (blockee) person they are blocking with a reason listed or require the (blocker) to send the (blockee) a minimum of 2 messages before they can block the person.
Would that happen? No, from a business sense, a website does not want to manage the communication of their members unless it violates the terms of their agreement, and it would cause too much work to maintain the reason for each person blocking.
References.
Kupferberg, A., Bicks, L., & Hasler, G. (2016). Social functioning in major depressive disorder. Neuroscience and biobehavioral reviews, 69, 313–332. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2016.07.002
Voigt K. (2014). Nudging, shaming and stigmatizing to improve population health: Comment on "Nudging by shaming, shaming by nudging". International journal of health policy and management, 3(6), 351–353. https://doi.org/10.15171/ijhpm.2014.114

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Mar 31, 2023

I have noticed that sometimes, people use the block NOT because the one being blocked did anything wrong, but simply as part of their personal fing system.

Person is scrolling through profiles, reads one, and decides that person is not for them.

Block=outbox, reject pile.

It's nothing personal. In fact, it helps YOU because then you don't waste YOUR time contacting someone who isn't a good fit for you. They took THEMSELVES out of the picture.

Miki • Mar 31, 2023

The same blocking exists on other sites. While it's not cool to simply block someone one has never been in contact with simply to avoid them, it remains a common and acceptable function on most, if not all social media outlets.

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As for "discrimination" That's over the top. "Discrimination" applies to business, employment, school, and government shit. That does NOT apply here nor should it. Everyone has the right to message, ignore, or block anyone they want to without giving a reason. Of course it's courteous to tell someone that they wish to discontinue contact and only block if the other individual won't take "No" for an answer, but some people are more laid-back than others.

Totally not grounds to regulate blocking activity.

For the record, I believe I have only blocked three, maybe four users in here, and I'm certain there are a number who blocked me. That's fine. Don't like me? See Ya. Rock on. As for me, I only block when someone goes to undue lengths to piss me off.

djinni​(dom female){smplylaura} • Mar 31, 2023

What in the playing the victim is this? Based off of this pos alone, I fully support whomever blocked you and inspired this. Girl, you are astute.

No one is required to give you anything if they don’t want to speak to you any further. Not a goodbye or an excuse. Put your big boy drawers on and walk away, rather than beating your tiny fists on the door and crying about the incivilities of the world/site. People, especially women, do not need to be harangued with constant messages by someone that they have decided that they are no longer interested in talking, because that would be exactly what would happen. I’ve lived that scenario, as I’m sure many others here have done. Consider it consent revoked and move on.

Richlydefined​(sub female){Gardener} • Mar 31, 2023

Just like someone does not have to justify their rejection of another person in a face to face conversation and can choose to simply ignore them and/or walk away they can choose here to simply block someone and cease the contact. Nobody owes anybody anything in reguards to themselves, their time or even the manner in which they communicate. Rejection sucks but we can't police other peoples behaviors just because those behaviors aggravate us. Honestly if the action is that aggravating it should tell you that the person who does it probably doesn't have a communication style you would be able to work with anyway.

Defender​(dom male) • Mar 31, 2023

The OP was, I think, talking about being blocked by someone that you have had no contact with whatsoever.

So you are scrolling through profiles and come across one where there has been no contact at all, but find you've been blocked.

SBD in the first response may have it - it's just someone's personal filing system.

But the OP was looking at the possible effect on the blocked - and whether this could trigger feelings, such as being slapped in the face for no reason, or lowering someone's self-worth.
(We would do well to remember that not everyone on here is emotionally strong).

Me, I've only experienced "silent blocking" - some might see it as aggressive blocking - once.

From another Dom who I'd never spoken to.

At first this puzzled me.

Then I thought "this is his problem - not mine".

So I walked on by.......🥱


Just an afterthought.

I could be blocked on a hundred profiles that I've never checked.
And so could you!

cherilynn​(sub female) • Mar 31, 2023

OP,
As far as this subject goes, apathy is the key to happiness.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Mar 31, 2023

I found myself in a bit of a quandary...
You see, I have an app on my phone for which I pay a reasonable monthly rate to filter out rude, nasty junk, to alert me when someone I know is trying to contact me, to identify those who I don't know yet, and especially to block all the annoying and bothersome and unattractive and potentially incompatible spam and unwanted messages I get from strangers everyday.
All very useful features and worth every penny - but recently that last part had me questioning the morality of the program.
When I reviewed the monthly call log to see how many times this single app saved me from being interrupted by spammers I had to ask myself if the acceptable cost justified all the body shaming and discriminating it had done to all those innocent blocked calls.
I realized that by continuing to pay for and use the app I was supporting and even encouraging spam cyberbullying - or "spamberbullying." So to try to escape the shame of what I was doing I just turned off my ringtone so I wouldn't have to hear the pained cries of the spam being unfairly judged and shunned, but it only made me feel more guilty for doing this scary new thing called "silent blocking."
Alas, by then it was nearly too late for me. The only thing left for me to do was to try not to succumb to hysterical analogies, to remember that I wasn't actually an authority on any of it so I didn't actually know what I was talking about, and that I wasn't even the first person ever to have an opinion about it.
Social media would be great if not for all the people, so maybe I should just stop using it. Community websites will likely continue to refuse to change their rules even if I whine about how they just don't get it, so maybe I should just start boycotting them. Fortunately a few people helped me by telling me to calm down and get the fuck over it, which I really appreciated because now I can go turn my ringtone back on without feeling like an asshole!

Solace​(dom male) • Apr 1, 2023

No. For a few reasons.

As stated people do not owe you or anyone else their time, though I will disagree on the especially women concept mentioned above.

People also have a right to maintain their social circles and insulate them from others for the precise effect of having a safe calming social life. If they block someone who would have been a benefit to have in their life, that is a consequence they will have to unknowingly live with for their decision.

Further more the concept of having someone else regulate with via report and reason for blocking someone is ludicrous. Perhaps I am poorly reasoned in this but the idea of another person acting as judge on who I can choose to not socialize with is frankly silly and outrageous. Also the manpower required to review these cases to a fair and impartial degree would be simply ridiculous. Impartial truly being key, anyone submitting a request or the person having a case made against them would be subject to the ideals/morals of the minimum wage paid judge who's just clocking their 8 hours. Simply no. We are all adults here and can regulate our own happiness and shame.

I hear that you mean well. If I hear you well enough your attempting to solve an emotional issue to save some demographic of people from a negative emotional experience. Again however I argue against this. The diversity of human ethics and ideals do not allow for a perfectly inoffensive atmosphere. It simply cannot be done without quashing a segment of humans. Therefore I consider these experiences of social rejection quite key in maturing the human mind. They will happen. It is unavoidable. Even if it is stopped here, it will happen somewhere else. Instead of limiting the freedom of others to commit an action and becoming grossly offended by the concept of such a thing harming you, it is much healthier to learn to cope and move on from the issue. To develop healthy methods of self soothing and mental stability.

These are the reasons I list for why I personally reject your concept.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Apr 1, 2023

I block racists, homo phobes, trans phobes, those who are anti Semitic, anti Islamic, right wingers, obvious trumpers, rude asshats, nasty people, people who have hurt people I have been involved with, victim blamers, enablers and shamers, predators, abusers, wanabes, fantasists, those who try to violate my consent, those who are pushy and don't take my no for a no - in this case mostly male identifying subs. I have also blocked others for other reasons. I base these blocking choices on profile info, observations in the chat room/lobby, via pm/bond communication, replies on forum threads - people give themselves away often, in various places.

I feel I have a right to curate my experience on here, using site provided tools and deal with situations as fits my needs, as they arrive and as long as my actions don't break site rules, its my business why I chose to block, just as others who have blocked me have their reasons and those are valid to them, as mine are to me.

Blocking, which alas still does not remove the presence of someone completely off every part of the Cage, is a very useful tool in making the kink world, online at least, reasonably pleasant, and its good for ones mental health, at least I feel it is - as they say others mileage will vary, and what works for them is valid, as is for me.

To the OP, take it on the chin and move on, if people don't want to talk to you, accept that, even pre given blocks. These people have their valid reasons, and that is that. If you are finding that many are doing this, might well be worthwhile asking yourself why, trying to figure it out (harder without feedback, but sometimes its obvious with a little self reflection) and working to change this set of circumstances.