Rituals and High Protocol

Rituals and High Protocol

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Sep 1, 2023

Being the Old School Bastard I am, I enjoy implementing all sorts of Rituals of all kinds within the various relationships I partake of.

So I want to know:

Do you enjoy implementing Rituals Dom/mes or do you find it too time consuming to think ones up? What do you use? What is your favorite(s)?

You s types: Do you hate doing Rituals? Do you think th ey are silly or do you find comfort in doing them to please others or yourself?

My favorite is the Night Time for Bed:

I tend to give or assign a sleeping collar, something they can spend the night in. This they put on and then light a candle to light and kneel in front of. Then they do a short breathing exercise: 10 deep breaths in the nose and out the mouth. Then spend a short time reflecting on the day. Then off to bed.

Usually gets grand results for sleeping.

What's yours?

Satindragon • Sep 2, 2023

I do like having protocols and rituals. Some are designed to keep you grounded when you're apart.

One of my favorites is whenever I get stressed or need grounded. I have permission to wrap our red rope around my chest just below my bra. Tight enough that I feel him holding me as I breathe. I also sleep with said rope under my pillow. He protects me from the demons who come in my sleep.

Lol and that's a wrap.

shebakesalot​(sub female) • Sep 2, 2023

I was introduced to rituals with a Dom I met recently. His explanation was it being a practice for building a bond, and I agree. What I especially like is that they tie into all 5 love languages. Also as a sub with ADHD, I like structure and routine. It keeps me grounded.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Sep 3, 2023

I agree with both of the above comments. Rituals can be wonderful for both grounding, and cementing a bond.

I don't hate them. And I don't find them silly. But they must be an organic part of the dynamic. Not forced.

I've found enormous comfort from performing them. And that is about pleasing my dominant, but taking great pleasure in feeling him in doing them.

Examples include breathing exercises, kegel exercises, corner time, kneeling time, the wearing of symbolic items, sleeping on the floor.

But by far the most significant ritual I have ever been given/been part of, was a man who gave me the ritual of 'self cuffing'. Right hand encasing my left wrist. And then closing my eyes and reciting, 'I am an owned submissive, and I wish to please my dominant'. I cannot tell you how much that ritual helped our bond, and helped me be a better person.

That dynamic is long over, though we are still in touch, and I treasure that ongoing friendship. But I still self cuff and recite those words. With no dynamic... But just to remind myself to behave well, and be a better person.

Bloody powerful stuff.

Miki • Sep 3, 2023

Anyone:

Have any additional examples of those? Though I am not the relationship type, the word "rituals" kind of jumps out.

Among the preconceived notions I get from voracious reading is the word "ritual" connotes (to me) stuff of the Occult.. Devil shit and so-forth.


I am sure I am wrong and I just read too many creepy-ass books so if anyone has "for instance" examples I can better understand it.

Satindragon • Sep 3, 2023

@Miki,

You're right the word ritual can conjure up some crazy stuff. But if you replace it with the word habits or daily task it might be easier to understand or develop.

For example going to the gym everyday is a habit or your ritual. Now let's supposed that kneeling in nadu and practicing your breathing helps you to calm down. If you do it everyday it just becomes part of your day.

For me rituals or daily task either help build the bond between two people or keep me grounded or both.


Maybe that helps

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Sep 3, 2023

The word rituals has been cooped by religious factions to help portray their ridiculous ideals.

Sometimes you have to let words mean to you what they mean to you and not what others would say they mean to you.

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){Owned} • Sep 3, 2023

In my dynamic the rituals evolve as we do. Right now I have no morning and night ritual because we’re in the middle of a change to things. My first ritual was to kneel for five minutes and edge for 5 minutes morning and night and stand at attention in midday and edge if possible. Then he changed the morning ritual after about a year to wearing a tack bra for an hour and face fucking myself for 5 minutes in the morning and still the nightly kneeling but not the edging and thank goodness no more standing part (standing still is incredibly torturous for this ADHD girl). I send him a good morning on video every day but that’s not really a rule, he likes to see me and I like for him to see me.

I’m on the fence about rituals right now though and it’s why we are taking a look at it and changing again. I wasn’t finding much joy in it anymore and he suspects that it is because he designed the previous with things that I liked rather than what he wanted. As we move along in the dynamic my mindset has shifted to be more centered around his desires and his pleasure than mine because his have slowly become mine, most of the time.

In some ways I’m thinking we may not even need a ritual anymore because in a way my entire existence is starting to become a ritual of service to him. I’ve said in the past that I’m a living sacrifice on his alter, through him I become sacred and through me he becomes divine.

That’s probably a little deep for the topic of the post, but in the end rituals are a good way to bring balance and focus to the dynamic. For me in the early days it was a way to connect with him but of late, I never feel disconnected.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Sep 3, 2023

Good Forum Post Topeka,

First, I'd offer what does ritual mean. Various definitions apply, but let's go with Merriam-Webster.
1: of or relating to rites or a ritual : CEREMONIAL
2: according to religious law
3: done in accordance with social custom or normal protocol (this one applies most to this discussion).

At one time, all of society was driven by rituals. Breakfast was a ritual - you fasted at night, so you broke the fast in the morning. Not just in religion, but many religions also practiced rituals as an extension of society. Outside of religion, many rituals disappeared. Rituals aren't inherently religious, it's just that religions still practice rituals. I would be offended by your term ridiculous with regards to religion, but that's your opinion based upon your beliefs, so I'd prefer to smile and nod instead.

I agree that we have to let words mean what they mean, and not let others define them. Rituals inherently are not bad. I have a daily ritual of waking, stretching, practicing Tai Chi and then drinking a huge cup of coffee. Daily! It calms me down and ensures I'm less likely to destroy others.

Within a Dynamic relationship (BDSM, whatever you call it) there are many daily rituals and protocols that develop and enhance the dynamic power exchange. It can be as simple and easy as an early morning, noon and evening text during certain days (Monday through Friday) or the appropriate greeting when one or the other arrives home. It can be a daily journal. It can be weekly scheduled maintenance spankings (Thursdays are a great day for it).

I do see the practicality in employing rituals. Building the dynamic and asserting and reasserting the power exchange. I also see the enjoyment in carrying them out (such as maintenance spankings - or morning bliss)

Just thoughts. Great Post.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Sep 3, 2023

This made me laugh!