I'mME
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7 months ago •
Sep 21, 2023
TopekaDom wrote: B L O N D I E wrote: What's your position on this, TopekaDom? As a dom, would you rather have your sub be honest with you or would you rather they keep it to themselves so you could enjoy your scene? Let's open up the discussion to the doms in the audience on this subject.
Thank you BLONDIE, as I said at the start of this: There is no right or wrong answer. My intent was to make people think about actions and reactions, Sacrifice and disappointments. I have enjoyed everyone's answers and reasons. But, since I have been asked... Yes I would expect them to tell me how they are feeling and if unwell, I would cancel said plans. Should they not tell me and I found out later, that would amount to lying to me and there would be repercussions. Topeka, Your question read as if these ppl have been together for awhile. If that is ones way of their dynamic , that they have to verbalize every single little thing that may not be a reason to cancel something, then a sub would know that. Not enough info was given..it dependa on the dynamic. A Dom may leave a hangnail up to their aub whether they want to tell it. Or a Dom could be micromanaging the dynamic. |
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Online now
Sincorrigible(sub female)
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7 months ago •
Sep 21, 2023
I would tell him.
In my view he needs full information to make informed decisions. |
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insubordinate(sub male)
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4 months ago •
Dec 30, 2023
Well, to me it is the same whether this date involved bdsm or not. It is courtesy to let your date know that perhaps things are not quite up to snuff and then give them the option of (a) carrying on, knowing that you are not up to snuff or (b) reschedule to a better date or (c) rethink the evening's activities to something that would, perhaps, better suit the current conditions... Honesty and forthrightness are the basis of any relationship as it builds trust. I would opt to build trust any day...
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| sissy rosie |
4 months ago •
Dec 30, 2023
i'm not in a relationship, or collared, so forgive me if i'm speaking out of turn. To me, however, this is a simple matter of honesty and the fact that keeping information back isn't honest and makes the submissive less trustworthy. Therefore, i feel that the Dominant should be informed and then be able to decide what happens.
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lambsone
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4 months ago •
Dec 30, 2023
I would tell the Dominant. I agree with being honest as others have stated. If the Dominant is supposed to be in control in whatever they are doing together then he/she must be aware of anything that might be out of his/her control. Knowing ahead of time, even if you think you might disappoint them, will give them the chance to make adjustments and perhaps you wouldn't have to cancel the play at all. The last thing a Dominant needs is a "surprise" thrown into a scene. Any surprise may happen anyway, but at least you've taken care to let them know you aren't feeling well and you've given them the option of how to handle it. That's what teamwork is and both of you are important to the team.
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| bdsamworld |
4 months ago •
Dec 30, 2023
Tell them how you feel. Especially with so many viruses running rampant.
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SageFlame(sub female)
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4 months ago •
Jan 3, 2024
Absolutely communicate! Symptoms and mindset in particular are of great importance. As a sub providing information is a given. Hiding the fact that you may be ill is counterproductive.
We are all bringing our best to the dynamic right? |
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| Lilibeth |
3 months ago •
Jan 25, 2024
Why not tell him? I'm new and maybe my opinion is not correct or unwanted but I'll still say my part.
 ‍♀️(you'll never learn if you're afraid of making mistakes)
If you don't tell him that “not feeling okay” may get worse or he's doing something that before you could enjoy but feeling ill makes you sicker. It's better to tell him so he’ll know how to handle it or maybe change the plans. |
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| wannabesextoy(sub male) |
3 months ago •
Jan 25, 2024
Nothing serious - not a problem as you still can enjoy and get fun.
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| rubberdollyboy(sub male) |
3 months ago •
Jan 26, 2024
Absolute honesty at all times. She may choose to meet you anyway and possibly forgo any kinky play and just hang out together (this has actually happened to me, and we were both disappointed but decided to meet anyway and still enjoyed our time together). Or She may decide She was looking forward to the play in a way that your disclosure made it clear wouldn't be safe to undertake under the conditions you mentioned, and She only wanted to meet that time if it was for play so She cancels that meeting (this has also happened to me, and because we were both completely transparent, the decision to not meet on that occasion had no adverse effect on our relationship, which btw still goes on to this day). Either way, it has to be HER choice as the Domme, to decide how to proceed based on the information provided. No hiding anything! Always honest, always upfront, always open and candid and forthright. Nothing destroys trust as much as finding out something was withheld, whether important or not. If you're lucky enough to have found a Domme, don't blow it by compromising trust.
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