Humiliation and Degradation Questions

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) • Nov 18, 2023

Humiliation/ degradation has never really been a tremendous kink for me, giving or receiving (not shaming at all, just not really *my* thing) but TallSlenderGuy, that was a beautiful telling of your experience. Still not thinking it’s something that’s appealing for me, but I can understand a little better the appeal for others just based on the way you described it! Thank you for the share, and OP great forum topic!

Miki • Nov 18, 2023

Nice point, you and "Tall not-so-slender post"... --My eyes fuck up (cross) more than they already are when hit with walls-O-text. But I acknowledge many points require one to be textually verbose to be properly conveyed. In such cases I skim.

So.. as to your post: I left it out because I didn't consider what you brought up. For me, "tenderness" would be a buzz kill even if I could hear the words or soft intonations.

yuck

When I was actively into this it turned me on to be an object. One to be positioned at their will, tierdd up and used. It was very erotic and satisfying for me to be "less than" and useful for one purpose.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Nov 18, 2023

In the past, I have found humiliation and CNC to run hand in hand.

Now the thing is one has to explain all this before an actual relationship starts. During what people call "Negotiations" (back in my day, it didn't have a name, but I called it "The Dance"), The Dom/me has to what kinds of things can happen within a given relationship. I have done such things as:

* Use of litter pans
* Feeding of subs via bowls on the floor
* Golden Showers
* Masterbation in front of strangers (to the sub, not to me)
* Human Furniture
* Bathroom control in front of strangers (I have a real good story about this)

And others...

The thing is what is humiliation to one is not so much to another, and not everyone can handle this. Like anything else within the lifestyle, it is not for everyone.

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){Owned} • Nov 18, 2023

I’m incredibly difficult to degrade or humiliate because it all feels like intimacy to me. Daddy can slap me, piss in my mouth, call me whatever names, spit on me and so on and I’m just like “Aw, Daddy loves me.”

We have discovered that for me to feel degraded whatever activity has to be ongoing for a few weeks. There has to be a sense of oppression in it to start breaking me down. Which is a slippery slope because you’re getting into dehumanization. That’s a ballgame that we won’t play until we’re living together because it’s dangerous.

We keep things mostly light right now. My first rule was “You don’t get to break it until you’ve already bought it” (meaning we’re living at least in the same city) and as much as we want to delve deeper, it’s safer to wait.

AlphaByDesign​(dom male) • Nov 18, 2023

Have any of you considered the unsanitary and health issues that come with urine and being pissed on? This does damage to your kidneys, skin and makes you susceptible to all kinds of viruses and infections. Make it make sense!

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){Owned} • Nov 18, 2023

It’s not like we drink half a gallon or anything. Damage to skin?? I can’t imagine how it would damage the skin, it’s barely on there for a few seconds. It isn’t like I soak a towel in piss and then strap it to my face.

There are risks. Such as, medication transmission, bacterial infection, and so on but in small a small dose there’s not a high likelihood of adverse reactions.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Nov 18, 2023

"... urine exposure likely won’t put you at risk for an STD or illness, according to Handsfield. In fact, it’s far less risky than vaginal or anal sex, and even less risky than oral sex....

While bacteria that are safe and healthy for your own biological ecosystem, they aren’t necessarily meant to be shared with others, says Dr. Hunter Handsfield, Professor Emeritus of Medicine, University of Washington Center for AIDS and STDs and Chief Medical Advisor for the American Sexual Health Association (ASHA).

Contact with urine or urine-play as part of sexual activity would not facilitate the transfer of the “large amounts of causative bacteria and viruses needed,” Handsfield explains. “The little bit of sexual secretions or concentration of virus that would be in urine if you were exposed this way would be unlikely to cause disease.”

Handsfield’s statements are backed up by his own experience as the former STD program director for the Seattle-King County Department of Public Health and recent CDC guidelines for disease transmission of common viruses like cytomegalovirus (CMV) and other STDs.

According to Handsfield, deriving sexual pleasure from urine or urine-related acts– known by sexual psychologists as urolagnia– can easily be included along the normal spectrum of human sexual behavior, even if golden showers aren’t for you."
https://www.thedailybeast.com/is-urine-sterile-are-golden-showers-unhealthy#:~:text=Yet%20urine%20exposure%20likely%20won,less%20risky%20than%20oral%20sex.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Nov 18, 2023

Aw, thanks. It took me awhile to wrap my head around why humiliation/degradation (H&D) have a strong and erotic draw for me. Like so many things in life, i'm not sure one can ever know for certain all the reasons behind desire/need, but that doesn't keep us from trying to, eh?

i've come to believe that (for me, and maybe for others too) H&D is more a side effect than a primary desire/need? Idk why i connect to something like watersports (ws) as a vehicle? In Indian culture, it's not unusual for people to drink their own urine. Western culture seems to largely condition us to see urine as dirty, unsanitary. Voiding is something we learn to do in a special, private room behind closed doors.

my point is, there are all sorts of things that culture conditions us to perceive as "dirty, taboo, sick, etc.." Kinksters can come up with a long list of those things, ws is just one of many.

i think the feelings of H&D are (often) conditioned responses. i and another may, for whatever reason, have a proclivity for ws, and we have both grown up in and been culturally conditioned to see ws as "dirty, taboo, sick, etc.." Expressing and experiencing, sharing those desires, triggers conditioned responses like H&D (among others). If both have desire for 'ws' (or_______________), i think the more powerful things that are happening are mutual acceptance, desire and affirmation.

To me, part of the mind fuck of it is, when e.g. ws is a mutual desire, each is affirming the other's need/desire. We think (feel?) of H&D as the opposite of affirming the value of another. In context, a Dom/Top may have the desire to have a sub/bottom be Their urinal, and the sub/bottom may have the desire to be a Dom/Tops urinal (for plethora complex, individual reasons). If they manage to be open and vulnerable about their desires and end up connecting through their desires, i think each is affirming that need/desire in the other and validating them.
Sorry, i think this may be turning into a ramble, but for me it was an epiphany lol.

Miki • Nov 18, 2023

... as a matter of fact it is included in survival training. Where water is unavailable, it is said to be safe to drink piss and it is safe 1st pass.

There are no health considerations especially in small amounts as she said.

As for the rest of it, "golden showers" to be specific... After playtime that is what a shower stall, soap, and water are all about.

Bunnie • Nov 18, 2023

“I’m incredibly difficult to degrade or humiliate because it all feels like intimacy to me.”

@Sweetlydepraved ^^^this right here