Clingy sub advice?

Clingy sub advice?

Mallorei • Nov 21, 2023

So I’ve been trying to be less clingy as a sub, I spend time with friends, I read, I work out, I game, I journal and I am constantly trying to keep myself busy but I feel like I am only trying to run from my thoughts of wanting to talk to the person I’m interested in. Does anyone have any advice? I feel like I am always bothering the other person. We are both introverts but I am only introverted to everyone else but with them I always want to chat. I can’t escape it .

Miki • Nov 21, 2023

You don't "sound" clingy to me. Keeping active in a variety of ways and all.

If there is someone of interest, it is not clingy to let them know this and try to see if you two have a meeting of the minds and can move forward.

How exactly do you get the impression you're bothering the person?

Are they slow to respond? (some have busy schedules)

Or do their responses exude the feeling of the old brush-off.

Seems like more, not less communication is in order, and if Person 2 is genuinely disinterested, they should speak up so you know whether or not you're proverbially pissing in black pants. You know the drill, warm feeling all over but no one notices.

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My experience is of limited help as I seek no relationships, but in simple message exchanges, I almost never "reach out" first unless I have something very important to address (like people putting personal-ad kind of stuff on a forum thread) .

I exchange messages and only by way of replies. When they go silent I don't write and ask "why". I just move on.

If they wanna write, I reply. If not, I'm fine with it.

When someone gets bored enough or the the supply of things to write about runs dry and they disappear, no harm/no foul and definitely no skin off my ass.

K y i v • Nov 21, 2023

I find with equal interest clingy never even arises. Both want all of one another.

Sweet Ginger​(sub female){⚓ } • Nov 25, 2023

Within relationships, we all crave the connection with others, especially those we have committed to..a relationships is "unbalanced " when one needs much more than the other.. communication is important..if both parties truly care about each other compromises should help balance this out.. we all get busy: work, family obligations, emergencies, the list is endless as long as things are communicated and one isn't left in the dark not knowing..if after communicating and things continue, you may want to reconsider things..we all want to feel valued and wanted by those who care about us..good luck!

Notely • Nov 25, 2023

Write message like your going to in a letter if you are shy this give them a hint get them to understand but if does work out you need to find someone that will give your needs also.

Not sure if you come from the babygirl/little's/Kitten realm but any sub needs to cling at to things at times.


A stuffy , a cat , or dog, something you give affection to when you need to cling to it.  They still make tamagotchi these days. Get a blankie that has stuff attached  as a security cling. Play a MMO game , find some  Adult or Kiddy sensory toys. Art therapy , Take photos , do scrapbooking , nature walk , Get hamster clean out the cage and cuddle it. Watch some asmr , find a new hobby , take a class , Take a nap , watch some cartoons, drink out of sippy , Cozy by the fireplace with hot cocoa , Put some christmas stuff up and blog it. Give advice in forums , Find people that share the same if you need more closure, find a discussion you can go to.  Go to the spa, do some self care , Do meditation or a yoga and meditation class. One those squishy balls with glitter inside. 

Belle de jour{submissive} • Nov 26, 2023

Are you and your D in a good place? Or challenging time?

LordofPain56 • Nov 26, 2023

I always used to say that I could handle any variety of girl from clingy to very independent, but that the girl would need to be cognizant of interrupting her Masters work schedule and work-load. I used to know a girl who would call the office to speak to me about nothing at all 4 times a day. There wasn't enough time in the day for me or anyone else there to sit around and jabber on the phone and get our work done too. Later on, I found out that she didn't trust that I was even there, so she was checking up on me. During a discussion that I initiated on the subject at home, I told her not to call the office unless there was some kind of emergency that needed my immediate attention.
But she really had no life beyond me, so I got her involved in the local community college and bought into a business that she could occupy her time with and gain an interest in herself. As some time passed, I could tell she had no aptitude for it, so she abandoned the idea on her own although I did everything to encourage her to stick with it.
But I wouldn't particularly call he clingy. She was just plain LOST ! Eventually she bailed out of the relationship altogether, although I never gave her any reason to not trust me.
And I still say, I could handle clingy, even moreso now than back then, since I am retired now and usually around the house.
Anyway, more of a rant than any solution for you, but it proves we all have our strange experiences.

Re: Clingy sub advice?

SnowMinx​(sub female){Owned} • Nov 26, 2023

You're not alone in this. When i feel a connection with someone, I also stress and get anxious and feel clingy. I dont want to be bothering the other person. I hate feeling like a clingy bitch. I think just be honest and upfront and ask him if you're bothering him. I would hope he would answer honestly. On the flip side, maybe he enjoys you being "clingy" and needing him.
Good luck!

I'mME • Nov 26, 2023

@Mallorei,

QUESTION.

Where did the word clingy come into it?

Miki • Nov 26, 2023

[Truncated to target a specific part of your post, fella]

Generally and hypothetically speaking, with you, even though I'm staunchly independent and would never check up on anyone anyway--- I'd just "Interrupt Master's Schedule and workload"--- just to frost your ass, as any self respecting dyed-in-the-wool brat would oft do.

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Back on track. As I posted before O P does not strike me as a "cling-on". Those are the subs who genuinely seem to be unable to function without being infused in every aspect of the Dominant's waking hours. Some of that is attributable to immaturity, the rest insecurity. But sometimes it's a good fit for a highly protective dominant who loves to micro-manage. These aren't usually viewed as positive traits but hell, if it works mutually-- it's just fine.