Aradia Nightshade(other female)
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3 months ago •
Jan 24, 2025
3 months ago •
Jan 24, 2025
Your question struck me. I wish it was because I have the answer all gift wrapped and ready to go. Unfortunately, I don't. But what struck me, was that this was a question I had years ago - it was a little over twenty-ish years ago. So there are issues and topics that were relevant then, and they are relevant now. Of course, knowing that doesn't answer our question. I'll provide some background and share a few theories. It goes without saying that only those interested in various musings should read. Terribly sleep deprived as well so here is to hoping I'm reasonably coherent.
Back then, some dominant men would see a Domme, and instead of taking it at face value, would often simply see it as a sub issuing them a challenge. I've been around here less than a week so I don't know if this has changed.
Something else happened too. There were some Dom men, who after repeatedly being rejected by me, started hitting on me as a sub instead. At first, I thought wow, I must have strong Domme tendencies! That remained, and still remains, to p0 seen. However, if I did have any particular strength in being a Domme, like a superpower, turning doms into subs, it wasn't what was happening with these apparently newly minted subs. When I talked to a Dom about the possibility of that actually happening, he burst into good-natured laughter. Rainbows were more likely to fly out of his arse and other similar comparisons.
The curious thing, other than them begging me to top them, was that many of them thought that what would please me and impress me, was to get videos and photos of them wearing ladies lingerie. Sometimes about as girlie as possible, pink, frilly sorts of things. But it was almost like they were doing some twisted topping from the bottom thing where they got their kink on by showing me those things. Some Dommes are into seeing men in ladies lingerie - and that's okay. But it never did a thing for me, except occasionally amuse me, but definitely nothing that "did it" for me.
These men were not legit into BDSM as a lifestyle. They were basically just trying to get their rocks off. Sending a young, inexperienced young lady photos/videos of them in their lingerie get ups gave them their jollies somehow.
I knew doms who would purposely make me blush because they thought it was adorable or cute or whatever. In some cases, my inexperience with kink was a turn on for them. That was all fine usually and very different from what those "newly turned" subs wanted. It wasn't particularly difficult to make me blush, and today it probably still isn't, though possibly not to the same degree. However, getting the images in question from those shot down Doms-turned-subs, they didn't make me blush as the senders wanted. So, I explain that because theory number one is that they did it to "get their rocks off" - a cheap and quick way? Oh, just go to a kink site (or whatever) and blindly start your routine. Statistically speaking, they may decide they'll eventually score.
Theory number two is that these men are submissive, but they feel so pushed into a corner by societal norms and expectations, they feel compelled to misrepresent themselves on kink sites and at events, etc. Then when they reel you in, and they can't continue with the charade, they try GG bThey don't maliciously want to mislead but they feel compelled, perhaps suffering from a mental illness not because of the kink, but because they can't make things They switched because it's what they wanted from the jump but were in denial. I think I'm doing a poor job explaining this one.
Theory number three, they are just nasty internet trolls targeted who think it's amusing to mislead others, in this case, to mislead subs. They get fulfilled by being horrible to others.
Theory number four, they are legitimate Switches but new to the community, so they don't behave according to etiquette. Perhaps they are lazy. This theory is probably the least likely one.
Those are all the theories I can think of right off the top my head. However, next time I have access to journals/academic papers I'll see if there's anything related. Few (and maybe none) studies are done into kink that aren't related to sexual deviant side of it. Now that BDSM has been removed from DSM though, newer studies wouldn't necessarily shed any light. If I find anything relevant though, I'll be sure to post it here. Sorry I don't have any more solid theories, or better yet, concrete answers.
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