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Knightsundere(sub male)
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4 hours ago •
Sep 3, 2026
4 hours ago •
Sep 3, 2026
I ask because I recently "opened" up a discord server for femdom literature (encompassing books, online erotica, whatever, as long as it's written with the intent to be read) and a point of concern for a lot of people was that it was a male-led space. In the context of the misogyny surrounding the femdom scene, I think it's honestly a completely valid concern, but at the same time, I don't think it's inherently wrong (the inherency being something I felt a little uncomfortable with being criticized on). Before I opened it I was wise enough to ask a domme friend to help moderate in order to give it legitimacy/stave off concerns and, to no surprise, she's been incredibly crucial, arguably the entire reason it's so far mostly succeeded (basically every moderation concern/request/suggestion has been asked of her, rather than me, which makes me think on whether I would've been queried at all in her absence).
I personally choose to only be submissive/operate within the d/s dynamic with a partner (in this case there isn't one), so in regards to Steel's points, for me I wouldn't have to worry about deferral. If my partner were interested in management of the community, then my first responsibility is to the community (since they're not involved with my relationship), and if my partner's preferences would negatively impact that community, then deferring to [her] without harming the community then means I'd have to resign. In that regard I'd point to what is, imo, a mandatory unwritten rule at the beginning of any d/s arrangement that says following destructive or harmful-to-others orders is an automatic breach of healthy protocol (not in the sense of healthy to the relationship, which I'm sure it still can be, but healthy as in within the wider, external-to-couple world). In the same way it is objectively unhealthy to "defer" to someone ordering you to shoot strangers with a gun, ya can't do that lol.
But back on topic, to me, it feels outright necessary for both halves of D/S dynamics to be able to be communal leaders in order to avoid undesirable deification (which is already a huge issue in the femdom scene). Subniches like femsupremacy, gynarchy, TPE, it does make much more sense there, but in a broader sense it really takes a lot of responsibility away from subs to be reliable and professional in a way that I think is incredibly counterproductive for the direction that the scene should be moving in. Anyways. That's my piece.
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