So many articles, blogs, and posts I see are geared toward loving and bettering yourself. Encouraging the reader to not have this attached to a significant other in their lives, to 'make them happy'. There's usually a strong feeling that if you are a person who's not totally happy by yourself you're somehow passive, insecure, less than, or even damaged. You could probably benefit from some self-help books, positivity seminars, or good therapy.
I am the youngest of three girls. Although my mom was a stay-at-home mom/housewife, we were all brought up to be strong independent women. This didn't mean that we were dissuaded from becoming a stay-at-home mom/housewife. But we were always steered towards making sure that we could 'take care of ourselves' so that we would not need to depend on having a significant other in our lives.
As a young girl, I always knew two things: 1) I was destined to be a mom, and 2) I would one day find my soulmate. KNEW these things, not just hoped. Fast forward some decades....the first is fulfilled. Time and experiences have now lessened my once young romantic notions of my soulmate. I now think of him as my "fit", and I HOPE I find him. Why? Because I'm not whole without him.
Am I damaged? Do I not love myself enough? No. It's the way I'm WIRED. It's innate in me. It's not wrong. My soul aches for him every day. And I will not be fully happy until I am with him. Could I live the rest of my life "without a man in my life"? Sure! But to me, that wouldn't really be living. I would just be existing. Going through the motions of life, a fraction of myself.
So what do I do in the meantime? Do I not adult? Of course not! Every day I pull on my big girl panties, go to work, take care of patients, come home feed my four-legged kids, take care of the house, pay bills etc etc etc. I've always done what I've needed to do to progress forward in life. I go out with family, friends, attend fun events. I smile, I enjoy. I stop and observe the beauty in things, always treat people kindly (well mostly everyone lol), I laugh, I joke. It's not like I don't do these things. I do. Just not-fully, more dimly. Sometimes almost like I'm an outsider looking in. Because something is missing in me. I'm missing him. The one who completes me.
So for those who are also wired this way and haven't found their "fit" yet,
I see you,
I acknowledge you,
I understand you,
I feel your truth,
&
I hug you (unless you're not the hugging type)
You are not,
Less then,
Insecure,
or
Damaged!
❤️ GNR
