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Express Yourself

3 years ago. April 22, 2021 at 2:56 PM

In my last D/s relation my previous 'Master' as I've been reflecting, used to comment frequently on the fact that I have a strong personality. It felt as though he thought this to be a negative trait. Constantly reminding me of this as though a sub/slave shouldn't have such a characteristic. But I feel as though if I didn't have a strong personality, I wouldn't be as loyal, devoted, or passionate among other qualities. Can a submissive not be confident, strong, intelligent, independent ... Yet be subservient, obedient, compliant ...? Within those qualities of strength could not a Master see value in that and use it in a positive manner to guide and mold his sub into what he see's best for her and him? Should he not be proud to own someone who possess such a trait? Just wondering ......

Max Sterne​(dom male){Morley} - She absolutely can have a strong and confident personality. These traits do not detract from a submissive in anyway.
3 years ago
mab{His} - I couldn't agree more. Each sub brings something different- a personality, confidence, intelligence, even a cheeky fun side; should certainly be thing you can bring and 'be' in a dynamic.

Myself, I dont think he is such a 'master' if he thinks these things are negative. Why would they be?!

Be true to yourself, whatever your personality traits. You are awesome!
3 years ago
acquiesced​(sub male) - Should he be proud? Depends. If your strong personality is only directed towards him, well then no, he should not be proud of that quality in you.
3 years ago
sensualsubb​(sub female) - You've lost me here too. Can you elaborate on your comment?
3 years ago
Dom for her soul​(dom male) - I agree and agree with the other comments. Each submissive has their own personality. A Dom should be proud of his submissive, nurture her and guide her always.
3 years ago
Voldemort​(dom male) - Personality is innate. It is you. And it is molded by experiences through life. So no a strong personality is not a flaw.
3 years ago
sir james ladies​(sub female){oh yes ple} - just goes to show you can call yourself whatever you want . living up to it is something else entirely.
3 years ago
sir james ladies​(sub female){oh yes ple} - referring to your "master"?
3 years ago
AdamDragon​(dom male) - I have to say I don’t believe in “molding” someone into someone they are not, regardless of what your personality traits are. A sub-slave should be embraced for who they are , in all facets of their core, and personality. And these are things that should be discovered thru consideration. That is when the yes or no answer should be given. Be yourself. Be who you truly are. If it’s meant to be then that’s the true connection. 🌹
3 years ago
Dragonlove​(sub female) - SubtleHush said it beautifully!

You have to be true to yourself. I think most subs are very strong. Stronger than a lot of doms.

Think of the pine tree beside a palm tree. Which one survives the storm? The palm is able to be fluid and gives to the wind.

Hope that made sense.
3 years ago
sensualsubb​(sub female) - Makes perfect sense. Thank you. Xo
3 years ago
Max Heathen​(other male) - What a dom/Master desires of his Sub/Slave is truly up to them. This is an agreement between two people of willingness.
Personally for myself, I'm one who finds the allure in strength, intelligent, and communication in at least 1 side of my V/Triad Poly while enjoying the fearful, anxious, needing help to take a lid off a jar kind of weak, even to the desired to be nearly micro managed. Nearly... not completely. I'm to busy to tell someone when they can pee... ask my pup! 😂😂 Be you, hun. You're not going wrong with that
3 years ago
OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} - Any self proclaimed Dom (Master in this case) who cannot handle strength in any form, cannot handle strength in submission either. This is the trait of someone who wants control, not someone who wants to lead. They cannot understand the balance that a loyal, devoted, kinky af sub needs from the person she allows to lead them.

Now that being said, if you are hostile, or choose to not be led more often than you choose to be led (or even 10/90 imo), maybe you are not seeking that calmness and balance that comes with serving a Sir.
3 years ago
Lion​(dom male){Hazel Eyes} - Speaking for myself, I wouldn't want a weak submissive that I had to watch over 24/7. My lioness is a very strong, independent, opinionated woman, love her more than anything.
3 years ago
sensualsubb​(sub female) - Thank you kindly each and every one of you for your comments! Makes perfect sense to me. I've learned so much and continue too. 💕
3 years ago
SirBrianT​(dom male) - Which is - as you had already learned and reflected on your blog a while back - the more important lesson stil: Even while a learning curve my flatten, BDSM (and life, for that matter) is continous learning. About oneself. About others. And about how to discern wheter or not your view on things and theirs are a compatible.

As a general rule: If you find you couldn't respect yourself due anything you are told to do, be, or become - chance is, that neither could others. In that case: don't do it in the first place.
3 years ago
Canadian​(dom male) - Be it Dom or sub it’s shared equally between both. A sub isn’t “giving ip control” as much as they’re looking to bend and push their limits to please their Dom. It takes strength, personality, trust and respect between both to reach such limits.

Being too you have a strong personality should be certainly taken as a compliment.

Individuals need to work together to make it a strong connection be it Dom or sub.

You’re strong and be proud of it!
3 years ago
Eye-C​(dom male) - If given a choice between a thoroughbred racehorse and a mule... Which would a self respecting man wish to ride out?... Only the insecure would choose the mule....
3 years ago

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