Who I am or Who am I?

SweetStarling - I also have struggled with this, communication issues and voiced concerns being dismissed. Fighting within myself on whose voice to listen to, because without that communication you can't fully let go to trust in your dom completely. At least that's my take so far but I'm still trying to figure it out.

SweetBrattyLittle​(sub female) - Yeah. This was traumatic for me. I nearly lost everything I worked for and love because I was struggling to figure out what voice to listen to when something unexpected happened that nearly jeopardized everything. Now I'm questioning should I even be doing this? Should I take part in this lifestyle. For a moment, I was actually happy..but I guess happiness is never really meant for me. Thank you for your advice.

Jack in the box -
Communication issues as a little or in general?
because theres definitely a difference.
In your profile you state that you value deep conversations.
If it is a trait of the former, the two of you need to work on it together as a specific subject that needs work. Your voiced concerns should never be dismissed, thats on them.
Some doms dont really give the word "little" enough credence when entering into a dynamic with one, which in my opinion can be damaging - and leave hurt starlings such as yourself and Ms above.
Perhaps your question shouldnt be "how do I tell my Dom" rather, how to find the right Dom
😌
🙏🌹

SweetBrattyLittle​(sub female) - It's not going to matter about the Dom part anyway, forgiveness will never be given to me. Once I posted this question, we were over, but I needed to know and he made me choose between him and knowledge. I'm an idiot....I already know.

As an adult, I have no problem voicing my opinion. I used to but now it's a bit better. I really had to learn this as a little. It worked out well until now. Thank you Sir for your advice.

Max Heathen​(other male) - I'm not going to reiterate what Jack has already put so well. It seems to me that this is a blurry line between Dom's and Masters. M/S, Slaves usually don't want to make decisions or be part of the process. They wish to be told and simply do. Subs that I've read about aren't like that.
As far as your Little not communicating, I see that as dangerous. I don't pretend to understand Littles. For some it's just regression for the freedom of being a child, but at no point is the person not themselves.
From the way I'm reading your blog, Your little is similar to my Beast. However, I had to learn to communicate with him because he couldn't speak English so at times when simple sign language wasn't working and he would get pissed off, I'd have to "blend" with him and try to translate. Over the years I've gotten better and the blending has become seamless so that he can stay out and pick up once I've translated. You, if nobody else, should be able to communicate for your Little. If the Dom won't hear you, be true to your profile and tell'm to piss off.
Recommendations: ask your little a question and give her some crayons. Let her draw a picture of the response. If that works, use it with the Dom and let them know upfront that when she is out, they will have to learn to read pictures. Hopefully a DD can read them and understand, thus opening communication. Without it, I'd think it'd be hard on anyone to deal with. Keep in mind, they see a grown ass adult... As such, there is expectations.

For me, If Beast goes on a rampage and trashes a room, hurting our Slave in the process, is it acceptable because he can't speak English? Hell no. We are accountable for our "other". Whether it's a release into regression, an alter ego, or another spirit living within. We must be proactive in knowing them and teaching them how to communicate. Then teach those who will be around us, how we communicate.

SweetBrattyLittle​(sub female) - Thank you Sir so much for your advice. I had never thought of that. I am accountable either way for my little's actions. I have to learn to communicate for my little.

HeyLittleOne​(sub female) - Everybody deserves to be in this lifestyle if that is what they desire. Having issues with communication does not make you any less worthy of a dynamic or relationship - it simply means that you need to find a different way to communicate, and find the right person who wants to understand and work with you. If you are with someone who deliberately chooses not to listen when you are able to communicate, then that person is not worthy of their title or the trust you give them.

If your Dom cannot put in the effort to collaborate with you in finding a way to successfully communicate, then one might assume that he wouldn't put in the effort to ensure your safety. You cannot be safe within a dynamic without communication, regardless of how that communication is achieved.

There are workarounds for every situation - you simply need to find the person who will look for them with you, BECAUSE they care about your safety and well-being.
If you have trouble communicating your thoughts/feelings verbally, then find someone who will let you send messages to explain instead.
If you have trouble voicing when you're feeling uncomfortable or are approaching a limit, then find someone who will give you different hand gestures to use.
If you have trouble explaining how/what you're feeling, then find someone who will learn to look at your little reversible octopus stuffie to see if he has a smile or a scowl.
If nothing else, they will find a way to help you become comfortable with communicating and learn how to in a way that ensures both party's safety.

At some point, there has to be a division between dynamic, and an adult with a genuine concern. If you have been made to feel as though you shouldn't speak out or express concerns because "the Dom should think for the sub," then it might be time to heavily consider if the person you are entrusting your safety to is worthy or reliable. A person could know you inside and out, better than you know yourself, and should still stop to listen when you communicate or express concern. If they disregard and steamroll over said concerns because "they should think for you," that's toeing the line of abuse, if not dancing over it. The moment doubt enters the mind of someone within a dynamic is the moment in which everything should pause and ears should be open.

My advice would be to, first and foremost, try taking little steps in bettering your communication, if for no other reason than to make sure you and your partner are safe. Any form of communication is better than no communication at all. Secondly, don't lower your standards to fit someone who isn't willing to work with you and doesn't prioritize your safety and well-being as they should, being your Dom.

Don't give up. Your person is out there somewhere, and they will either help you overcome this issue, or they will find a way to make it work for both of you.

I wish you the very best, and hope you find the person to start that journey with 😊♡

Jack in the box - This! ☝️

lambsone - The fact that your Dom threatened you with dissolving your relationship with him if you seek advice, tells me that he could be a Master manipulator and not a true Dom.

Communication is one of the most important aspects of any lifestyle. He's being extremely selfish in tossing your concerns away. He may even feel threatened that you are letting others know about how he treats you.

I congratulate you for being true to yourself even in the face of losing a relationship. Think ahead over a lifetime of being with him.kudos for choosing you.

In closing: Does it make sense to spend a lifetime not being allowed to reach out for help from others, and not having your issues or yourself valued? If not, then HE isn't worth your time or personal investment.

Innocent Me​(sub female){Protected} - I don't really have much say, everyone above pretty much hit the nail on the head in some form.

Jack said: Find the right dom. Yes, especially for a serious subject such as the one you asked about. The right dom won't be dismissive of your concerns.
Max said: You are still accountable for yourself. Yes! Just because you identify as a little doesn't mean (I'm not implying you do this) you can just say, 'well, I'm a little and I can't communicate so oh well!' You are still responsible for figuring out a way for yourself, your dom can help but the work we do on ourselves is done by us.
HeyLittleOne said: Try these things, Yup! Figure out a way that works for you to communicate, don't settle and no...doms don't 'think for their subs' unless that's a specific thing you WANT.
Lambsone said: Sounded borderline abusive, I think so too. If any dom told me not to seek advice or tried to demand I not talk to others etc. that would be a huge red flag. Your dom should want you to have a support system of other subs and such to lean on. Especially when you're trying to figure out a problem like this, you're going to benefit from talking to others who have had similar problems.

When you find the right Dom you'll know. He will want to learn every single little part of you, it won't be a chore for him...he will WANT to learn all these little quirks about your adult and little side. I have a very hard time communicating when I feel my middle/little side tugging at me sometimes and my Daddy knows exactly what's going on just from the sound of my voice and the little changes in my personality. Emotionally shutting down is something I've struggled with in the past. I've still had to push myself to communicate. It doesn't feel natural sometimes, but I am responsible for me. I can get all the support from Daddy in the world, but if I haven't figured out how to express myself it's impossible for him to read my mind. I've tried....doesn't work. Lol

Good Luck. <3