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Poems and more from the Heart, Soul, Mind and Spirit

Poetry that i have written in the past and present. I'll also be adding short stories that I have written (stepping out of my comfort zone), my thoughts, desires, inspirations and the journey of healing on all aspects of my life. Enjoy and thank you for reading ((HUGS))
4 years ago. Sunday, April 18, 2021 at 10:01 PM

Preface

Once upon a time there lived two young girls named Tiona and Charlette.  Their outlook on life was frowned upon my their families.  They were healers in their own right and saw good in everyone and everything.   They were loved by every man, woman, child, and animal who met them.  They were extraordinary gifted young girls, Charlette’s gift wasn’t seen by anyone but Tiona.   She promised that nothing and no one will harm her.  Unfortunately, Tiona’s promised was very hard to keep, she has fought every demon attacking her friend even taking her place even when Charlette wasn't strong enough to fight.  Tiona was so powerful that her own mother couldn’t stand it and became very jealous. This is Tiona's story.

CHAPTER 1

A chain of events happened before tiona was conceived.  Her mother( Lillian) was having visions about a little girl who becomes a powerful healer changing the lives of many. God came to her in a dream and said “ I entrust you with a special gift, a rainbow child. A child that I need in the world to complete the mission I have set aside for her”. She is the chosen one, the golden child. The healer of sinners and saints.  From that point on, she started to become more cautious of preventing pregnancy.  She didn’t want the responsibility of having to care for a “special hild” or any other child for that matter due to a previous loss.  Lillian went on to modelling school to pursue a modelling career then it happened, one night of passion led to pregnancy.

 

Lillian went to seek advice from a “witch” who lived in Harlem. She didn’t want this pregnancy, nor has she forgotten the dream and the message that was told to her, fuck it, I want to go to Paris.  On the corner of 116th street was a hidden door no one on the outside was able to see, she asked around where she could find the witch that would be able to help her.  Being shown the way, she finally saw the door and walked in, smelled of fragrance and garlic, humming was heard in the back of the store.  All of a sudden, the sound of glass breaking startled Lillian, a heavy set woman, with black hair and eyes filled with fire, GET OUT!! GET OUT!!, I WILL NOT INTERFERE WITH GOD’S PLAN!!!! Lillian starts to stutter, trying to get the words out, but…. But….. I…… I…. need help!!!!!! NO!!! the witch shouted, praying for the unborn child asking for the ultimate protection of God’s chosen one.   Lillian standing there in awe, “How do you know”?  I feel her essence, she is not to be harmed in any way, do as God says you hear me? Lillian ran out as fast as she could, what is she going to do? Young and unable to provide for a child that she doesn’t want.  She went to the next person that would help, her own mother. A mother only by title, put her through hell. She had no one else to turn to for help.Lillian asked her mother for assistance, no her mother shouted. I’m not going to help you kill a baby, a gift from God.

Days, then weeks went by and Lillian couldn’t hide it anymore.  Walking along 125th street a woman came up to her and said, I will help you, no guarantees that the solutions will work. For this child is protected and should in no way be harmed. I will try.  Lillian follows her into an apartment building smelling of urine, fish and other odors that would make anyone sick.  She walks into an apartment.  The lady motions her to sit down at the table, then hands her a glass with a mixture of bleach with baking soda, bleach with vinegar, vinegar with baking soda to name a few of the potions that were given.  Lillian gets up and walks out the apartment then finds herself at the top of a flight of stairs. She throws herself down the stairs. 

 

During this time God heard the cries of this unborn child, why, why is she doing this to me???!!!!???? I didnt ask to be here or ask her to be my mother like the other little girl.  God said dont worry my child, you'll be protected, you're family, you're friends, all that you come in contact with you.  They will all be protected. Don't worry Tiona you'll be watched over..

 

Well, the woman who lived in the apartment  heard what God said to the unborn child and decided to change her name so she wouldn't be protected at all by God or His Angels.  LIttle did the she know, God was way ahead of her.  When the beautiful baby girl was born, she put a smile on the faces of all the nurses and doctors. Her mother wasn't too happy about how everyone adored this little girl, this bright light that was brought into the world.  "How dare you take away the attention that's for me"!!! Her mom ignored her cries, for attention, for food, for love.  Her mother molested her with different objects. This helpless little girl did not cry, just looked at her.  Lillian not realizing  that an angel took her place in times of distress. As time went by, Lillian didn’t want to be bothered with her at all.  She was passed around from family member to family member. Shut her up, Lillian yelled,as she was getting ready to go out ,she wont stop fucking crying.

 

A year later her mother went against God's plan once again had her christened under a different name not legally hers, during the ceremony, as the pastor was praying for protection of this child, her evil mother called upon Satan and gave her daughter to him, when Satan realized who the child is, he ran to God and delivered the disturbing news.  don't worry my son, all is well.  Satan didnt understand what he meant so he decided to secretly keep watch over her, not stepping in or else the chain of events will be altered.  He saw so many events that made him, smile, laugh, cry, become angered.  He so much wanted to protect her from the molestations at a young age. It broke his heart, he cried at how such a beautiful soul could be hated by her own mother.

 

TO BE CONTINUED......

4 years ago. Sunday, April 18, 2021 at 2:49 PM

She walks  along the beach in the moonlight

She stills hears the whispers of those staring and pointing 

The troubled maiden falls to her knees and begins to weep

 

In the distance she hears "My child, why so troubled?

Lifting her head, there is nothing but darkness

I don't belong here, I'm not like the others

The staring, pointing, whispering is more than i can bear

Worry no more, the pain is for you to become stronger than you could ever be

I chose you above all others

 

Why me? Why now? Tell me please!!!!!

A soothing breeze brushes against her face

A hand appears from the darkness

Stand, my child, soon all will be revealed

 

As she stands, the moonlight reveals a disturbing sight

Eyes full of pain, filled with tears

He allows her to wipe them away (something he has never done with anyone else)

Understand this, you have touched this evil heart, made it feel something it has never felt before

No other maiden has been able to give me what you have given

You have been chosen........

 

 

 

 

4 years ago. Saturday, April 17, 2021 at 11:06 AM

For the past.couple of days, there were baby items/clothing in the lobby 

I posted the swing/bouncer in the local donation group. So I set those aside until I receive a response (I didn't want the superintendent to throw them out).

Today,  I saw the bag.of clothing strewn all over the place, it drove me nuts. I knew it was clothing for a baby boy. As I was, putting everything back in the bag I saw two cute.little onesies (first stab) then I started to look through all the clothing. Why? I don't know. Maybe to see how much I have healed from my losses. I came across this tie dyed onesie for a girl, then it fucking hit me, i quickly pushed down the grief resurfacing.

Even as I write this, i had to stop and get a handle of the tears, the grief, anger, resentment, that I keep running away from. I now realize I really haven't grieved, I sucked it.up and kept moving forward.  Today is the day God needed to.let me know that I have to stop running. FUCK!!!! ?????

4 years ago. Friday, April 16, 2021 at 2:15 PM

(judge)The jealousy towards you ran through her veins

Causing nothing but torment from a young age

(L) No jealousy towards my children, I'm not my mother, 

(judge) She sold you to the highest bidder

Gave excuses as to why

(LM) I was young, I had no other choice, I wanted to be loved, they wanted her not me

(L) You destroyed my childhood, let others take me for their own needs, i still remember their faces

No excuses, you knew what you were doing.  You didn't want me, you should have given me away.

(A) He wasn't speaking to either of you, I'm the one whose life you have destroyed. I lived my life being what you wanted me to be. Lived my life being a replacement. Giving me to others so they can stay around. One such person was man enough to walk away.  I have lost so much of myself because of you. Broke me down every chance you had, you didn't like what you saw in me.  I became the chosen one, you saw something i didnt know at the time. Now I know, now I see.  All you wanted was me to be so broken that I would never be able to complete the mission that I was given. 

Now, I'm standing in front of all of you and the light within me is too bright for your eyes, your empty souls. You gave it your all in life and in death and I still came out on top. All Generational curses have been healed and you can no longer hurt me or the ones i love. I'm neither L, LE, or E. You can all go directly to hell, the Judge awaits you, *points to stairs leading down*

Judge, I would like to thank you giving me this time to say mostly what is important at this time. If you ever need me again, you know how to get a hold of me *wink*

 

4 years ago. Friday, April 16, 2021 at 11:01 AM

Waiting for you to come home

The animal within hungers for freedom

Your scent still in the air

I hear your car miles away

The desire to pounce getting stronger with every passing moment

I begin to transform into the animal that has to stay contained

There would be no mercy for you

I will attack, leaving no time for your reaction

You walk through the door

I pounce, ripping off your clothes

You up against the very door you walked through

I enjoy every inch of my prey

His scent, his moans

The prey soon releases himself to  the animal he so desires

 

 

 

4 years ago. Thursday, April 15, 2021 at 11:25 AM

See the frighten woman in the delivery room

Giving birth to a baby she carried for 6 months

Hear the prayers for her child to be born healthy and strong

Hear her ask God, not taker her baby away

See the baby brought in this world

Hear the silence

See the doctor try to save the helpless little one

See her burst into tears

Hear her screams of grief

See her in the rocking chair

Hear the sweet lullabye

See the tears, feel the pain, the grief, the unhappiness

 

4 years ago. Wednesday, April 14, 2021 at 9:38 PM

The daughter I would never have

You lit up my life when you came along

Now that you're gone

My life is filled with emptiness

 

I wish that you were never taken away from me

I'll always love you

I will never stop loving you ever

 

Someday I'll have another

And pray that child will never be taken away

 

Love Always,

Your mother

4 years ago. Wednesday, April 14, 2021 at 9:20 PM

  First of all, who do you think you are? Do you know who I am? Im the one that can ruin your ego on the first day. Im the one that you will regret coming across. I will destroy you even in your dreams. I will turn the tables and make you my bitch (you're too cocky to be a sub).. Don't ever disrespect me, be truthful about your intentions and stop using baiting techniques.

 

 

Before touching my body, you need to touch my mind, soul and spirit. if you cannot do that, i will never submit, I'll make you submit to me instead and I would love every minute of it.

4 years ago. Tuesday, April 13, 2021 at 12:51 PM

Silent, no more words to say

Plotting every minute of everyday of your demise

Watching you bleed like the pig you are

Watching the life leave your body

You have no soul

Mine has been taken and turned into a black hole

Sex is your desire, your only desire

Making me into one of your conquests

 

You never saw  the love

You never saw the beauty

Constantly taking, never giving

Giving you pleasure one last time

The only pleasure you only cared about

The only pleasure you will die for

 

I feel you inside

Waves of hatred, betrayal flowing

I see nothing but the Devil

Who preys on young women for his own entertainment

Sweat dripping down your face

The look of nearing completion of an animal, monster attacking its prey

 

When the timing is right

Silver blades of my love

Cuts through all you have desired

Pain like you have never felt, you will never feel again

Feel the pain you have caused so many for so long

I have judged, lived, loved

I have cut off the head of the snake

 

As I hold your head up high

Watching your body slowly die

I have executed the executioner of hearts, taker of souls

 

Finally a smile appears on my face

I'm finally free from your reign of terror

Your iron fist, your diseased heart and soul

 

Freedom has a price

The cost was the taking of your life

4 years ago. Monday, April 12, 2021 at 2:45 PM

Tied and blindfolded

Breath becomes heavier with each passing moment

Anticipating what my move will be

I whisper, welcome home my love

Gentle kisses on your neck

Caressing your chest, pulling your nipples ever so gently

You begin to moan with pleasure

You want to beg for more, you know what happens when you beg

I straddle you, your manhood no where near my womanhood

You try to break free, you  want to hold me, pull me closer

Bites your neck as punishment, 

NO!!! STOP!!!! I'LL BEHAVE MY QUEEN!!! HAVE MERCY!!!

Your manhood rising, needing to enter the palace of ecstasy 

Gentle kisses along your chest, 

My tongue circling your nipples

Breathing heavier, moaning louder

Am I worthy enough to be your king? You ask with hesitation.

I stay silent, rubbing my womanhood against you

Your body quivering, I have you where I want you

Punishing you is  arousing, you are not worthy to enter the palace 

Not worthy to be my king, you're worthy enough to feel the pain I inflict upon you

Feel the wrath of a scorned queen