Poems and more from the Heart, Soul, Mind and Spirit

As most people know, being a switch is not easy.  Especially when the some switches are found to be intimidating(imho).  For awhile, I felt like being a switch was a bad thing.  That I had to be one or the other not both.  It turns out that doms won't deal with a switch because they're afraid that they will be dominated without notice, the scene will change in the blink of an eye, their masculinity would be in jeopardy.  Uh, no.  If any knowledgeable person knows anything, like with any dynamic, there has to be conversation, an agreement etc.  I rather submit anyway to be honest (only to the right person).  I'm not going to force you to do anything that you're comfortable with, why should I?  The would be crossing boundaries wouldn't it?  I may/may not be the only switch who feels this way. I felt like that I had to be with other switches that want to be doms at some point.  That only a switch would be compatible, that's incorrect.  What are your thoughts?  I would like to hear them. 

You thought you had me down

All the dark magic sent my way had a slight effect

Not to your satisfaction, you sent minions to possess what's rightfully his

I fought with every part of my being, not giving up,, not giving in

The fight draining those connected to me

You smile, feeling cocky, about how you won the hand of your master

Laughing at the sight of me running away

Oh how so wrong you were, I didn't give up, I didn't run away

I was carried to a place of rest, for me not to worry about the fight

I wouldn't rest, I couldn't allow.others to fight my battles, to fight the dark magic sent my way 

That was the plan all along, my spiritual team of warriors stood by, waiting for.the signal from high above 

The signs were all around me, the signal.was given

Now I'm healing the wounds that you inflicted

Will be stronger than you can ever imagine 

You will no longer destroy any part of my being

You will no longer possess what's rightfully his

Karma, fight, victory runs through my veins as well and the love I carry for all.

No dark magic will ever touch anyone or myself ever again

No weapon of any kind shall prosper to anyone you or your minions are sending dark magic to harm.

Good morning, 

I know there is alot more to say in those blogs. I welcome anyone who would like to add to either one.  We sometimes would like to say I'm  sorry or thank you but fear steps in and it becomes unsaid words.. you can private message me. I don't want to to make anyone.uncomfortable.

Have a good day everyone ?

I'm sorry for not taking more of the abuse

I'm sorry for not allowing you to hurt me anymore

I'm  sorry for constantly giving myself to you 

I'm sorry that I made a sacred space for us in our home 

I'm sorry for remembering your birthday

I'm sorry for asking about your day

I'm sorry for believing in you

I'm sorry for what I have done from the heart 

I'm sorry I don't have anything left for you to take 

I'm sorry for giving you numerous chances

I'm sorry that you believed the lies about me

I'm sorry for not continuing to fight for what I believe in

I'm sorry that I allowed you to treat me less than what I deserved 

I'm sorry I couldn't be used for financial purposes

I'm sorry that I made myself available numerous times

I'm sorry for letting you know my door is always open 

I'm sorry for speaking with love and kindness

I'm sorry for forgiving you and not myself

I'm sorry you couldn't see the truth

I'm sorry you couldn't see your worth 

I'm sorry I refuse to be taken advantage of

I'm sorry for trusting and loving you 

I'm sorry that you don't understand how you made me feel alone

I'm sorry that you don't care

I'm sorry that my gifts were unappreciated

I'm sorry that I respected your home

I'm sorry that my reactions were a result of your inactions

I'm sorry that you couldn't handle a strong woman

I'm sorry that I'm not weak minded, something you desperately crave.

I'm sorry that my identity frightens you

What I'm not sorry for is the lesson that was taught. Not everyone is going to be honest, truthful, open, motivated, determined. Not everyone will reciprocate what has been given. That's it's ok to walk away without closure. It's ok to continue to send love and forgiveness.  And that not every apology is sincere.

I would like to thank you for the lies you told, it made it easier to walk away

Thank you for showing your true colors, it made me realize i was wrong about you

Thank you for abandoning me. It opened the door for others to see my light

Thank you for neglecting me, my needs, my desires, it made way for another to help me pick up the broken pieces

Thank you for showing how much you devalue me

Thank you for showing me how unappreciative you are 

Thank you for hiding those red flags so I wouldn't run

Thank you for showing me that the promises I made were in vain

Thank you for allowing me to be cut down by the same sword I laid down at your feet. 

Thank you for hurting me, it has made me stronger, wiser and fearful to.open up again

Thank you for helping me rebuild the wall.

Thank.you for the lessons you have taught me, I will carry those to my grave

I now know that being grateful all the wrong things is better than being grateful for the right ones

I will now crawl.back to the depths of my hell. The only place where I'm good enough. Where I'm loved and appreciated. Where I cannot get hurt ever again.

Standing in front of you feeling disgusted with myself

I became what i hated

Neglect, Abandonment, Humiliation

I became a fool, a stupid ass fool once again

Gave the love I should have kept for myself

Love you didn't deserve but needed

Then I realized, I need not be disgusted with myself

I should not have  accepted what has been projected upon me

I need to reach down deep within and find myself again

To find the warrior that laid down her sword and shield at your feet

No longer trusting the words that have been spoken

You were not the protector you said you would be

False words spoken to let you into my soul, to see what i have hidden, to see what you can take and destroy

The mirror shows a Warrior Queen who will rise again, stronger, wiser than ever before

You can keep the sword and shield that I have laid down at your feet

It has been used to hurt, scar, and tear into the souls and spirits of the unwilling

I will not carry that burden, it is not for me to bear

I will rebuild the walls of my kingdom stronger, higher, better

A stronger sword and shield that will be laid at the feet of another who is deserving

Who do you see, when you look into that mirror?

What do you hear?

For the past couple of weeks, this scenario has been playing in my head.  And to those who know me, this is not a good thing lol.When a master meets a potential slave, i feel a few things become overlooked before, during and after the process of said dynamic. The importance of being honest and open about everything about a person while vetting is crucial. Especially now when racial tensions have gone through the roof. So, here it goes.

Master meets/speaks with a few women to chose as a slave and to add to the poly family. He's not seeing the red flags that were waving in his face during this process. He's not listening to his intuition and definitely not paying attention to the signs the Universe is showing him.  As time goes by, women leave one by one, M is not understanding/seeing the big picture.  One (S) is whispering into (m) ear that he doesn't need them, they are not trustworthy, they are not willing to serve the way that (s) can.  Even though he sees their potential and knows deep down inside what (s) is saying is untrue.

This is where the change of ownership secretly begins. The (S) doesn't like the fact the he plays with women of color( he sees women of all nationalities as beautiful beings).  This doesn't sit well with the (s), so they begin to plot and scheme without the (m) knowing.  (m) is continuing not to see the signs or pay attention to the responses of the (s) when women of color are discussed. One by one women leave, they are abandoned, hurt, neglected, still (m) doesnt see the big picture.  (s) secretly keeping tabs on (m) making sure he is with (s) and only (s).  So now, poly is now a monogamous which is what (s) wanted from the beginning. Still (m) doesn't see what's going on. Universe has shown him numerous times and he is blind to it all. (s) tracks the phone,emails etc. knows passwords to accounts.  So potentials believe that they are speaking with (m) but instead it's the (s).  It's easy to get away with it through text but by speaking is a little tricky because you can actually hear the voice. Here's a twist, the phone is also tapped where calls are being recorded without the knowledge of either party.  So when plans are made with others especially those of color, (s) makes sure that doesn't happen at all.  When all is said and done, it's just the(m) who is now the (s) who is now the (m).  Now (m) is wondering what the fuck happened and why. Will the true (m) wake up and take back his house, his freedom? Or will they stay stuck and accept the fact that they are now owned?

Now, another part of this scenario is that at some point, (m) must have woken up and saw the truth. And if (m) did and let this continue, then (m) is just as wrong as the (s).  There could be many ways that this scenario could be resolved, some could say it's too late too much time has went by and now (m) deserves to be owned by the (s) to teach him a lesson. Some could say that (s) took advantage of (m) to get what she really wanted. To have (m) all to herself even though she lied, cheated, took advantage of him and others.  (M) believed the lies that were told to him about the others and felt that (s) had (m) best interest at heart.  No (s) was only looking out for herself and didnt care who was hurt/destroyed in the process.

I might add more to this as the day goes on, this is the main part of the scenario that has been in my head. whew!!!!

FORGIVE THEM FOR HURTING YOU

FORGIVE THEM FOR THE LIES, BROKEN PROMISES, DIMINISHED HOPES

FORGIVE THEM FOR NEGLECTING YOU, YOUR NEEDS, YOUR SPIRIT, YOUR SOUL

FORGIVE THEM FOR ABANDONING YOU JUST LIKE THE OTHERS

FORGIVE THEM FOR RUNNING, PUSHING YOU AWAY

MOST OF ALL, FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR ALL YOU HAVE GIVEN/ACCEPTED

REMEMBER FROM THIS DAY FORWARD.....YOU'RE ENOUGH AND YOU'RE LOVED!!!!!!!!

There’s so many mornings, she stands in the shower, just letting the hot water wash over her.

Head down, she’s mustering up the strength for her day, and deep down, she’s vaguely hoping the water will wash away some of her stress.

She tries not to cry as she wipes away the beginnings of tears from her eyes.

This is what they don’t see- the world never knows about her..

That she has these days that take everything she has just to show up..

Because everyone sees the smile on her face and positive attitude and just assumes that she is an unbreakable rock- a strong and resolute woman.

Truth is, though, she breaks more often than she doesn’t- she just doesn’t show it to the people around her.

They need her- to be strong, to be smiling, to keep going no matter what.

That takes a toll on her some days, and she may cry for a few minutes when she gets in the car or sits there, just staring and searching for a bit more strength to push ahead.

That’s the amazing beauty of a strong woman- steadfast and resilient, she always seems to find a way to do everything for everyone without skipping a beat.

She lies in bed so many nights, utterly spent from her day and praying that she finds a way to keep going when her soul is weary.

She doesn’t ask for help, because she learned long ago to depend only on herself and has fought her way through so many fires that she became the fire herself.

Not because she wanted to be strong.

Not because she chose to be a fighter.

Her life never gave her any other choice..

So now, she does what she has to..sometimes with a warrior spirit conquering the world, and other times, squeezing out every bit of energy to pull her through the day.

But if you ever met her, you’d just know what an amazing person she is..

Even when she appears on the edge of tears, she still manages a smile and says “I’m okay.”

She’s not afraid to speak her mind or tell someone what she thinks, but she’s prepared to do what it takes to be strong..

Set boundaries, stand up for herself or even correct someone’s behavior if it needs it..

She knows sometimes it’s okay not to be okay, and she takes that time if she can..

Regardless, she presses on to get whatever needs to be done..her life waits for no one.

That’s what she knows she can count on.

Respect her for the beautiful creature she is.

Appreciate her for the courage she shows every day.

Love her for her ability to break so very often and then keep going.

She’s not perfect, she’s not flawless and she’ll never be asking for help.

Beneath the tough exterior is a heart of gold and deep soul, and she loves hard when she does.

So, as she walks by with a smile on her face, just know that you’ve seen one of the most remarkable people that you’ll ever see:

A strong woman.

|ravenwolf