sometimes, it's hard work to even figure out what you actually want, let alone trying to achieve it.
sometimes your desires are mutually exclusive. sometimes they overlap, and other times they are in direct conflict.
more than anything, it's hard to muster up the energy, free time and capital required to pursue any interest. kink can be especially challenging in this respect, because privacy and discretion need to be factored in as well.
paradoxically, it feels that it should be easier than ever, with the resources available, with kink being more accepted and mainstream. but so many other things are competing for our attention, even within the kink-sphere. it's overwhelming.
combining these aspects with my earlier point about other interests, the most common reason for divesting from kink is finding a vanilla partner, because as fascinating and aroused as I am with kink, I do not have the patience or drive to deny myself a chance to connect with someone if they happen to fall outside that purview.
does this make me disingenuous as a kinkster? or as a partner in general? when one pursuit doesn't pan out, I get winded and sulk back to the other one, or none at all. even if I do "get what I want", I could learn it's not actually what I wanted, and then I not only hurt myself but someone else in the process, and not in a good way.
we'll get there; we'll get somewhere, anyway. we've been places and appreciated them, but we'd like to stay longer, or at least get there more often. but in the meantime, we have to live between two drains and swim in what we have before we figure out how to plug them
