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Just me and my thoughts

A little nonsense and my thoughts as well as rants. Basically I put whatever I feel like putting.
11 months ago. January 2, 2022 at 3:44 AM

Love can be fake. People can say they love you and never mean it, people can also say they love you but never care about you. Love also may fade and change over time. Loyalty is a level of respect and will never fade unless given a reason which is why I will always pick loyalty over love. While this is just my personal opinion it's a belief I hold close to my heart. 

1 year ago. June 9, 2021 at 4:42 AM

As a sub I want to make sure my domme is happy and comfortable. I also want to make sure I’m the best sub I can be. The thing I don’t hear about a lot is during and after care for doms/dommes. I have heard a little bit about how to give doms/dommes after and during care but not a lot. When I find the right domme for me and make sure I’m the right sub for them I want to be able to give them what they need for their during and after care. I know communication and words of affirmation are key but I want to learn what more I can do to make sure my domme is happy with the dynamic we share. The only thing I can think of is letting them know that it’s okay and I want what is happening. So I want to learn what more I could do. I’m doing my best to learn on my own and being inexperienced makes it a little hard but I’m determined to be the best sub I can and learn what I can. I know during and after care is different for everyone and you should talk about it with your dom/domme. However, if anyone has advice or tips on this I would greatly appreciate it.

Also I hope you’re having a good day/night. If not I’m sorry, I know it can be hard sometimes, hang in there. 

1 year ago. April 27, 2021 at 4:45 AM

Part of me feels like I won’t be able to find a domme any time soon so I’m just trying to learn more about the community in the mean time. I have had doms/dommes  in the past but it never really went well. I they usually ended up not being real doms/dommes so I ended up getting used then tossed aside, or they would attempt to blackmail me. It’s hard finding a dom in general but I’m looking for a domme which can make it even harder. I don’t want to end up being tricked by a fake dom/domme or blackmailed again either so I have learned to be more careful. I’m also completely clueless to a lot of things which is probably why I have been blackmailed before but I’m getting better at being less clueless. I don’t want to rush finding a domme I want to make sure I’m the right sub for them and they are they right domme for me to be able to talk about both our limits and what we expect from each other. Yes I’m inexperienced but I don’t just want to blindly rush into something without knowing what I’m getting myself into I have done it before and it never ends well. Hopefully someday I will be able to find a domme I can trust and they can trust me. patience is a virtue as they say.

1 year ago. April 22, 2021 at 3:10 AM

(Take this post as you will but it’s my thoughts and I just felt like putting it on here for some reason. I just started type and for some reason ended up with whatever this is so don’t ask me, I don’t know. ) 

People say they want me in someway and I tell them what type of person I am. They say I sound like a nice and fun person, so why do they always leave. Either they hurt me physically or emotionally and I get away after some time or they abandon me without an explanation. Friendship or relationship I always do my best to be honest and make them happy yet it never seems to be enough. God forbid I open up to them, I’m scared. So much hurt in my lifetime it can scare people or they don’t understand. Years of neglect and actions which shouldn’t happen, story’s that would scare you away or shock you. I don’t seem like it but I get hurt, no matter how much I laugh my heart rips to pieces on the inside. The air around me labeling me as a pushover when the years of friends abusing me have pilled up cause me to lose hope in friends only proving it true. Family and friends causing me years of trauma and issues. All of it and my stubborn ass only decides to change a little and to develop masks that fool the smartest of people around me. My mind and heart close off  becoming guarded yet I’m still emotional. How have I changed so much and yet so little I will tell myself. I’m upfront with others and they still leave or get to know a fake me. Will it ever change maybe not but I long for the lonely ache in my heart to dissipate and my masks to cripple, for people to accept and stay.