My experiences and growths

I always like to try and put myself in dominants shoes to try and understand what makes domination hard so I can help them grow or give them what they need/want. I also do this so I can grow to be a better submissive. Now that I’m a 24/7 submissive I find myself doing this even more because I want to please my master and mistress.

There is something that I’ve been particularly wondering about though. I enjoy my little time very much and I enjoy having my dominant with me during it and taking care of me.

However I always wondered how the dominant felt about it.

Do they enjoy it? If so then why?

What about it do they like?

Do they not like anything about it?

Do they sometimes feel like they want to spend little time with me but don’t know if I feel like being little?

Are there certain activities you’d like to do with me while little?

Do they feel like they can’t say what they would like?

Dose the hate and misinformation out there also frustrate them?

Do they enjoy giving care for their little or would they rather just watch them enjoy their little time?

How did you imagine yourself interacting with your little before you actually had one?

I haven’t asked these questions before. Maybe I was too shy or worried, or maybe I just didn’t have the right dominant to ask. Maybe I just didn’t want to hear the answers because of worry or hate. I do now though but I still haven’t really asked them. I just wish I knew more of what dominates think about littles. Also what they think about MDLG/DDLG in general.

The hardest thing I had to do when I realized I was a little was accept it. It may sound a little ridiculous but it’s one thing to know it and another to accept it.

Every time I felt myself slipping into little space I would fight it like crazy telling myself it was wrong and stupid. But what’s so stupid about wanting to just be happy. Because that’s what little space is, it’s a time you can feel happy and just enjoy whatever you like when little.

When I looked things up about it to learn I couldn’t find much of anything that really felt what like a needed. Then I found all of the hate that there is out in the world for littles. The best thing I could tell myself was “ In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion.” If I don’t know you and you have nothing to do with my personal life why should I care about your insults or hate.

Everyone dose things to help feel like a kid now and again so what’s so wrong about having little time. I realize I was the only thing really holding myself back.

I decided that for the first time being little I would do it by myself so no one could hurt me. I didn’t want to start with a bad experience and let that set the tone for the whole experience. I of course would have loved to experience it with a mommy or daddy dom with me. However, I still believe to this day that I was a good decision to do it on my own first.

 I’ve learned a lot about my little side and I’m still learning but I’m glad I started somewhere and didn’t shy away. If I did then I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now. Little time gives me such a large amount of joy and there’s no shame in that.

Especially since now I have a mommy and a daddy to make my little time even better. At first I was really shy about being little in front of both of them. That’s because when I tried to be little with past doms it didn’t go well. I didn’t want that to happen this time because I really love both of them.

However, I eventually showed them my little side even though it was hard and it took time for me to be my true little self with them. I still am trying to show them my true little side, we are just getting started! I’m really glad I have such an amazing mommy who just wants me to be happy and not hold back.

She even got me a little fox bin to keep all my little things in. She also got me bottles and a cute bowl with matching utensils. I’m looking forward to showing her my little side more and I hope one day I can completely feel no shame for being little. The more I learn to let go and stop worrying the more I’ll enjoy my little time and be myself. I look forward to spending little time with my mommy so much I know we’ll have fun and I hope she’ll enjoy it too.

Love can be fake. People can say they love you and never mean it, people can also say they love you but never care about you. Love also may fade and change over time. Loyalty is a level of respect and will never fade unless given a reason which is why I will always pick loyalty over love. While this is just my personal opinion it's a belief I hold close to my heart. 

As a sub I want to make sure my domme is happy and comfortable. I also want to make sure I’m the best sub I can be. The thing I don’t hear about a lot is during and after care for doms/dommes. I have heard a little bit about how to give doms/dommes after and during care but not a lot. When I find the right domme for me and make sure I’m the right sub for them I want to be able to give them what they need for their during and after care. I know communication and words of affirmation are key but I want to learn what more I can do to make sure my domme is happy with the dynamic we share. The only thing I can think of is letting them know that it’s okay and I want what is happening. So I want to learn what more I could do. I’m doing my best to learn on my own and being inexperienced makes it a little hard but I’m determined to be the best sub I can and learn what I can. I know during and after care is different for everyone and you should talk about it with your dom/domme. However, if anyone has advice or tips on this I would greatly appreciate it.

Also I hope you’re having a good day/night. If not I’m sorry, I know it can be hard sometimes, hang in there. 

Part of me feels like I won’t be able to find a domme any time soon so I’m just trying to learn more about the community in the mean time. I have had doms/dommes  in the past but it never really went well. I they usually ended up not being real doms/dommes so I ended up getting used then tossed aside, or they would attempt to blackmail me. It’s hard finding a dom in general but I’m looking for a domme which can make it even harder. I don’t want to end up being tricked by a fake dom/domme or blackmailed again either so I have learned to be more careful. I’m also completely clueless to a lot of things which is probably why I have been blackmailed before but I’m getting better at being less clueless. I don’t want to rush finding a domme I want to make sure I’m the right sub for them and they are they right domme for me to be able to talk about both our limits and what we expect from each other. Yes I’m inexperienced but I don’t just want to blindly rush into something without knowing what I’m getting myself into I have done it before and it never ends well. Hopefully someday I will be able to find a domme I can trust and they can trust me. patience is a virtue as they say.