Morning ramblings of the Irish woman again, although this one has been rolling in my head for quite some time.
Horses:
I’ve put the word “breaking” as I have purely because I despise it so much. It was a term used to identify the breaking of a spirit or a character of a horse until he/she submits and accepts a rider. “Training”, although not as harsh, equally gives me chills but not quite to the same extent.
For those of you non-horsey folk, there are so many varied beliefs and understandings on backing a horse, so many ways and intricacies of psyche for each individual trainer, no method right or wrong in my opinion; just different. Although, in my opinion, each horse is different and should be treated as such: an individual.
My own personal method I stand by, and have done for many years. First you allow them to come to you. I will sit, field or stable, for hours and sometimes days until the horse approaches me. I allow them to circle me, smell me, observe me. Next I will stand, and again the same process. Now in a horse’s mind, if they step towards you and you back away, that establishes their dominance. This is the complicated bit. Do you stand your ground, or do you back away. It all depends on the animal, their character, their body language. Some need to feel that dominance, so I submit. Some, if you give one small step back, you will never get them back. Eye contact is also a big factor. I will never challenge a horse with my eyes unless it’s necessary. I choose to keep my eyes down, unchallenging, accepting, non-threatening.
Next is feeding. I’m a huge believer in leaving them a little hungry just long enough for them to depend on you. Horses are creatures of habit: even when the clock changes for daylight savings!!! Feeding is a complicated process, they must wait until you allow them to approach and eat. If you don’t establish this early on, you’re screwed lol.
Then we have grooming. This one is, to me, the most important. Within a herd, grooming is a bonding process. I’m not interested in a shiny sparkly gleaming horse, that’s not why I do what I do. I’m interested in showing myself as their equal, someone to be trusted with the most sensitive and delicate parts of their anatomy, a horse who will allow me to touch them everywhere and not once fear me - they guide me to where they want to be touched by replicating the grooming process on me. If their muzzle moves up on my body, I move my hands up and so on.
This entire delicate process for some takes just days, yet others it can take months. No two are the same, each with their own seriousness, their own scars, their own characters and quirks and playfulness. Some are mares, others geldings, and then there are stallions. Some are young, some middle-aged and some are old. Yes, they’re all one breed, but each is individual...
This is all bonding, this is the beautiful trust I establish before I ever ask a horse to “work”. If you have trust, you can ask them anything and they will strive to achieve for you, please for you, look for you, adore you. They won’t do this from fear; they will do this because they love you as much as you love them. Of course you will have the ones who buck and bronc when you first get on, but gentle murmurings and delicate touches of reassurance are usually all that are required. They are flight animals after all... The very occasional firm hand is needed for the ones who do it out of play, reminding them that their behaviour is unacceptable whilst under saddle - for those I usually find another outlet for their play so they know the correct time and place to just let loose.
Each and every one of them could kill me in a second at any stage in this process if they so choose. Each and every one of them has survival mode ingrained in them. Each and every one of them has chosen not to. Why? Because they trust me. Because I’ve taken the time to ask them questions, and given them the opportunity to respond. Because if they ask me a question, I answer theirs in return immediately without hesitation truthfully and honestly. Ultimately, because I treat them with the respect they deserve and expect the same in return.
Now then, I’m sure I’ve bored you all senseless with the meanderings of my mind on this topic. But I need to ask a favour: read all of that again, but replace me with a Dom and the horses as a sub... We’re fight or flight animals. We’re delicate but ferocious. We choose to submit because we want that bond, we want that connection, we need you.
There are two beautiful sayings I adore in regards to horses, but for now I’ll share just the one and leave it with you to mull over:
You ask a mare, you tell a gelding, you liaise with a stallion.
