Free from pain and addiction now and forever, you can finally soar.
We scattered your ashes up in the hills, following the path up the canyon, then walked down to the creek and spread them out. They will nourish the trees by the bank, giving life when they bloom again. The creek will carry them down to the river, then the river down to the larger rivers, flowing even to the sea, perhaps giving nutrients to spawning fish.
Then I carried the last of your remains with me as I rode the chairlift. Strapped on my board and skated over to a spot, under a tree well away from the main run, and sat down and dug a hole in the snow, dropping the ashes in. Then, I packed the snow down over top of it so not even a trace of grey dust would be visible. In the spring, the snow will melt. You will nourish the tree and later the wildflowers that will bloom on that spot, high up the mountain. People will glide by in the winter and you will always be a part of it, just like you were overall a hugely positive part of my life, and my life was much, much richer by having known you. Though you could not escape your own darkness and addiction, you made a mark in this world that was overwhelmingly positive. And you are missed by many, many people who loved you.
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Sometimes I think, when I die, I'd rather have my corpse's mouth filled with dirt, and an acorn placed in my mouth, and buried not in a coffin, but planted directly in the dirt, under the grass and clovers. So, as my body decomposes, it nourishes the tree, and even after I'm gone to whatever plane of existence is next, the tree will grow and the circle of life here will continue.
Or, perhaps, simply have my body dropped off somewhere remotely in the desert, away from any roads or prying eyes. Let the buzzards feast on my carcass, and the coyotes and scavengers pick me clean. My remains can nourish the wildlife and be scattered over the desert by the crows, magpies and buzzards- and once again, the circle of life will continue.
