Blind dates can sometimes really suck.
For starters, sometimes, a guy just wants companionship.
We crave intimacy, whether it's with a vanilla partner, or, a kinky one, in my case. I crave the intimacy of submitting to her, on my knees, letting her take control, letting her take me to that intense space that is so fleeting yet so much more powerful than any normal orgasm can ever be.
I saw her profile on an adult site. She was beautiful, at least I thought so; long red hair, pretty face, physically fit, mid 30's. She seemed to be into the same things I was.
I didn't see any obvious red flags or things that screamed "Dating Site Bot," but yet there were a few things I was a little uncomfortable with. I messaged her, said I had some experience, and asked her if she was from where I lived. "Yes I am" was her terse reply. Great! I was stoked. I didn't want to get too far ahead of things, but she sounded promising, said she had a local dungeon (in her profile), she lived near me, and it seemed like we would click. "So, would it be okay to set up a time to meet and greet this weekend, get to know each other, like at a coffee shop? I asked. I mentioned that, if she was working as a "pro," I would certainly compensate her generously for her time.
I get apprehensive about meeting people, even for a blind "Vanilla" date, for the first time. And in this case especially. If this was someone who I was going to put myself in not only an intimate, but also a "compromising" position with, I wanted to be safe, and make sure my play partner had all the right safety protocols in place, and go over what we would do together in a session, and so on. Call me over-cautious, but I feel you have a layer of trust before you jump into any kind of intimate BDSM session. I just wanted to get a feel for what she was like, and even if this was something both of us wanted to pursue- maybe she had her own preferences (and apprehensions) too. So I suggested a casual meet-up ahead of time. Both instances in the past where I have been with a paid professional dominatrix- this is what we agreed on. (And I hope you don't judge me for seeing a pro. Because, when you are alone and lack a partner, sometimes a guy just craves intimacy and wants companionship, even if it doesn't last.)
"Okay" she said. One word reply.
So I w-mailed back to set up a time and place. Saturday afternoon, 1:30, let's meet at a local coffee shop, which I specified.
"Sounds great!" was the reply. (In it's entirety.)
I was a little apprehensive, because I was really hoping for more in-depth conversation before hand. At least, a quick phone chat. These curt replies sounded like it was going to happen, but yet I was hoping for more dialogue. So far, it all felt so impersonal. Maybe she'll open up more when we met face to face, I thought. So, I told her I'd text her when I was on my way to meet her.
The night before, I called her and left a message. She replied with two texts. "Hello," and "Good Morning" that came through at around 4 A M which was weird, what was she doing up at that hour? I didn't even realize she had sent those messages, as had my phone off, until I got up around 9. So I texted her around 10:30. "Are we still on for 1:30?" No reply so I assumed so.
So I was feeling a combination of nervous and anxious energy at the same time, but also hopeful and I got to admit, even a little bit, well, aroused at the prospect of interacting with her. When I got to the coffee shop a few minutes early, I texted her and said, "I'm here at the coffee shop now, wearing slacks and a blue jacket." I looked around the coffee shop for a tall redhead. There was none, and I even felt like a chump asking someone who I thought might be her, "Hey are you Jessee*" "No, sorry," she replied. (*I probably shouldn't use her real name here, so... rest assured, it isn't Jessee. Although the name she gave me might not have actually been real either.)
So I figured, I'm a couple minutes early, maybe she's late. No reason to be anxious, I'm a patient guy. So I waited around. I walked around the small cafe a couple times looking for her. No Jessee, or anyone that looked even remotely like it could be her. I watched as people came in, and I embarassed myself a couple more times asking a couple different women- including one tall redhead, if they were Jessee. "No, sorry, that's not me."
After about a half hour, I sent her a couple texts. No reply. I tried calling her a few times. "Sorry, we could not complete your call. Please try again," came the automated reply. No option to even leave a voice mail- just "Sorry, please hang up now, fuck you, bye." I sat and waited in that cafe for over an hour. Then eventually, walked out, dejected and defeated, and really, really disappointed. I really hoped this would be real, or that she would at least give me a chance. Or at least have the decency to call or text and say, "Look, sorry, I can't make it."
Oddly, this is the second time in four days I'd been stood up. On Wednesday, it was by a good friend I'd known for a long time, who at least apologized as she had a sudden family emergency. We did reschedule for next week. No romantic or "Play partner" interest here though.
So yeah, what a let down, huh? At least, if there is any silver lining, I wasn't scammed out of any money, or led into a potentially dangerous situation. But still- those of you in relationships, be glad you don't have to deal people playing games like this because...they suck.
