Rose's Thorns.

Sometimes you have experiences in life that just exhaust you. 

I often think I was born in the wrong decade. Im 35, in privious generations I would be married and have a family by now. Yet im told that I shouldn't want those things... because its 'backwards'. 

No... men just want the benifit of a wife, without the responsibility. That's what 3rd wave feminism and the 60s sexual revolution got us ladies. Complete and total disrespect for what you bring as a woman. The fact you can create life and bare children is amazing, its something no man will ever be able to do. Yet we are constantly told this is a burden, its a negative. A man doesn't want those things. 

Im so fed up... ive been hit on by divorced guys or dad's with kids everywhere all week long. If there is an actual reason for divorce I understand, but 'i just didn't want too' after being married for 20yrs with young kids is an absolute joke. Take some responsibility for God's sake... if you decided to make babies with a woman and not give her the dignity and title of spouse, or in one instance spend 20+ years, your career imploded and your wife supported you to retrain, then you quite literally dump her for a young woman who made you feel like a man, which then imploded 3 months later, with zero accountability or insight... because its all womens fault. Absolutely zero regard for the carnage this does to young children stuck in the middle. I feel like im going nuts... no im not fucking interested in you... you can't commit to a sandwich let alone a relationship. Jog on... 

Does anyone understand the dating world anymore. Men and divorces everywhere trying to get there dicks wet by hitting on anything that moves. Well... you ain't getting it from me, fuck off back to your wife and work it out. Instead they like to try make believe, being miserable and single, their kids hate them.... all for the illusion of singledom and hitting on women... yeah except they can't actually get laid. Its absolute hell. 

I've just had a bad week of men trying their luck, I should be flattered but honestly im just gutted that there is such a high level of immaturity in guys over 35yrs old. 

You just want to be held in someone's arms. To fall asleep feeling safe and cared for. 

It's rare that happens nowadays... 

Sometimes the little things matter the most... not just wham bam, thank you ma'am. 

The small things... someone running their hand over your ribs or through your hair. 

You feel their arms as they wrap around you.

Im missing that this evening 

I'm going to sound awful... but men are not men anymore. Women aren't the same either. The modern world is burning people out at a very high rate. 

I'm exhausted from trying and giving it a go, only to find out they don't want any responsibility or to be committed to me. I've had enough now tbh. It's hard to keep going to find someone and I often wonder what the point is. 

They don't understand what a woman is for or how to treat them. They expect everything a wife would give without any commitment. 

Anything you give to a woman will multiply, give her a house she will make it a home, give her stress and it will become worse, give her your seed she will bear children, give her worry and she will become an anxious mess. Give her tasks and she will complete them. A woman is a help mate.... you need to have a purpose that's positive that she can help you with. 

I'm honestly tempted to just give up on everything sometimes... I don't understand what the point is, you can't expect a woman to be there for you with no security. She needs emotional safety... or to feel safe. 

I want to be on my own, get a boat or a cabin and fuck off from existence in society. Get some chickens and a vegetable patch and I'm good. Or a nuns convent. 

I'm at the point that as much as I would like a relationship, I'm honestly not sure I have it in me to try and trust again. 

I was left in a hotel with nowhere to go, wouldn't let me get my stuff while I was 3 weeks late. Fully knowing I don't have family to go too. Saying well 'it's not my problem' after spending weeks convincing me to move in with him, then deciding its not for him. I'm a human person, not a washing machine to test run. Men like the idea of being the good guy... the idea of it, the concept actually living up to their promises and standards not so much. We had been together for at least a year if not a bit longer by this point. 

He wanted me off birth control... so yes there is an increased risk. But seriously... that's the consequences of fucking a woman! That's literally what I'm designed for, to get pregnant. So if there is no birth control... you kinda can't be surprised. Especially when it was your idea. 

I can't deal with the shit show that is modern dating. Either commit or don't... but half assing stuff is just brutal to be on the receiving end off. 

Too many boys pretending to be men. They have an idea of what it's supposed to be, then when no one can live up to the fantasy... they check out and want to go back to neverland. 

It's pathetic 

And yes... I know women aren't great atm either but this is my experience 

Most people here have two lives. Their vanilla one and a kinky one. I'm debating going back to online dating... I'm not sure to set it up like my profile here with my picture or to do a vanilla one and bring the D/s topic up latter 

Thoughts?

What on earth has happened to dating... its all on apps now.... seems to be all the rage nowadays. 

I realised we are still using websites or dating sections. 

Out of curiosity is there a bdsm dating app and I'm just out of the loop or are we missing a trick? 

Thoughts?

Also... I hate dating apps, so not sure it's a good idea but curious on peoples opinions 

If there are any women out there who have any advice with the side effects of coming off contraceptives, I would appreciate some support and any information that might help. 

I'm struggling with my mood after coming off my hormonal coil... often referred to as the menira crash.... its been 8 months and I'm still struggling with low mood every month. 

Thanks for listening 

Rose

I think I understand why I like his personality.... I'm not justifying things or suggesting it would work... I'm just realising a few things about myself 

When you have been told your place is second your entire life, you have to accommodate everyone else and be understanding. Including.... there need to be needed, to have a purpose.... which means your trapped while they pretend its a kindness. Narcs are fucking awful and my family is filled with them. 

Some men tried to rescue me... not from family but give me a better life... I full on panic and become challenging to deal with, arguments ensue and the men end up hating me. 

But .... I think I realised why I like this guy...

I like that he never tried to 'rescue' me... because psychologically I do not cope well with being dependent on others. He listened, cared but never tried to fix it or rescue me. He just encouraged my ideas. 

I've never had that... I felt safe. This is eye opening. 

Others took issue with the fact he never came to the hospital to check on me when I collapsed. But again... that's something I value. Life is short enjoy it, I don't want to spoil the event. I detest attention when such things happen, it was often used as control in my life and emotional manipulative 

I also know he won't go to a hospital. So I called and he asked. That's the end of it. 

Simples. 

This is helping me understand what I appreciate and might be helpful for me in a relationship... interesting 

Well fudge me... I feel called out 

Read me like a book... damn

This video helped me a lot, hopefully someone else finds it helpful too. 

I'm having a ponder over the insanity of modern dating. I appreciate everyone's feedback and I've learnt a few things. It's appreciated. 

I would like to share a different dilemma I've noticed with men. It's not something I can 'fix' as a woman and nor would I want too... its not my place but I do think it's important to acknowledge. 

I have noticed a few things about community and men that I would like to share here... with the hopes that men may go and support each other a little bit. 

1, 

Dating... so I've noticed two types of guys. The flat broke men that have much more to offer a woman than they think but struggle to believe it. Guys who are ambitious, trying but haven't quite got there yet... often in their 20s and 30s

They often think they are not good enough and are doing the women a favour by not being with her. 

You then have the other type of guys who have grinded away at life, hit 45 to 55 are quite successful and realised they never prioritised having a family. 

The younger ones are terrified that they aren't worthy of you because they don't have any yet, while the older ones are terrified they will pick the wrong woman and loose everything. 

Both are completely avoidant and I've tried both... neither of these work because they are always half out of the relationship. 

Then you have the third kind that thinks because he has his own house, a stable job and is doing quite well that they can take you out of two dates, you carry the conversation or quite literally sit there in silence because he can't hold a conversation and then expects you because he paid, when all you wanted was to get to know him. 

.....

2,

Then there is another issue... this has happened in a few different scenarios now. Discussing things like future family kids ect... just generically to see if you both want the same thing. 

He panics... goes to speak to a 'friend' who tells him what a burden those things are and that he's not capable of it, so why on earth would you want such things.... are you mad... why would you want the hassle and burden of a wife or children. 

I find this incredibly sad because in two instances the men I know want those things for themselves... irrespective of if they are with me or not. It's almost like they need the guidance of an older man say it's okay to want that stuff, it's okay to panic about it too. But if it's something you do want have a think over the next 2 years of how to get to that point of being stable enough to have those things if that's what you want. 

Instead they turn to hyper emotional insecure friends who have no concept of how to attain such things or their own marriage is an absolute disaster and it's so bad they convince the guy that it's simply not worth the burden... that they are not capable of it.

Which is a lie. They are capable if they choose to be. Which is something no one tells them. 

Do men need better male guidance in understanding women and relationships. Would an uncle type figure help? Is this something that is currently missing or is it unique to my situation?

Thanks

Rose