Rose's Thorns.

On my knees, I hear foot steps approach. My breath catches... I wont look up …. I wont. I glance quickly and am rewarded with a wonderful sight. The smirk at the corner of his mouth says more than words ever could, coupled with a glint in his eyes and what appears to be slight amusement.

I think to myself, Damn it! Rose. I quickly look back down at the floor. Sir had no concept I was awaiting his presence when he got home today. I know he had a rough afternoon and wanted to help him relax. So here I am on my knees in the middle of his living room. He wonders over and circles around me, I can hear him but don't dare look up again. 

'Well someone took a peak didn't they'.

I stay silent.

'and without my acknowledgement too, you know what that means...'

I can almost hear the smile and amusement in his voice and this is why I am here on my knees, I know exactly what that means, that's why I looked up. 

I smile to myself whilst on my knees. Sir has accepted my offer. 

If I get one more 'your so beautiful' message or another pic of a dick... (this isn't dating on this site btw) seriously, what ever happened to getting to know someone? It might sound odd that this annoys me, but its literally the first message they have zero clue about me other than my pic, they might as well go. My dick thinks your fuckable. For the love of god, does any guy not think with there dick out there and capable of actually knowing the other person (I know there is im just loosing the will to keep looking). Also, has it ever worked for anyone sending a dick pic as a first message and then getting a date and going out ? when has that ever worked ? might as well go to a bar and find someone to hook up with, and instead going hi here is my number, they just get there dick out because that's the equivalent. 

...vomits. Seriously learn consent people, your kink isn't mine. Be respectful!

Blackest star, deepest night,

not a twinkle in sight.

As Blackness eclipses the night,

a heart beats

out of sight.

Vast unyielding space  

without end in sight 

where once was a beat

nothing exists any longer,

just Depth inside. 

Depth without bottom

is the cruellest of ends

as the unending bleak horizon

expands beyond end.

No longer a nightmare

beyond a dream.

Time, fabric and context

become an undying end.  

im not sure if my link has been interrupted or if chat has been amazing quiet for the past week or two 

I truly hope with all my heart, there will be less me too moments xxxx I know too many friends who have had issue, more than haven't, yet this isn't in the open yet its sooo common its awful, I hope that the next generation of women don't have this issue xxxx

So in a bid to be more open, I will share my experience or experiences …  (this is nothing to do with my friends experiences)

my birth farther preferred a younger woman (just) to my mother... and other things I wont mention on here 

my step farther preferred me to my mother.... (didn't get very far, still ripped the family apart)

my grandad was a violent alcoholic for many many years (sober now, unhealthy grief coping mechanism) That didn't really stop my nan from getting black and blue … or my uncle thrown into glass... yet my family blame my nan... idiot logic. 

My last Dom started having flashbacks (ive had them they are awful but... almost ended up stabbing me while thinking I was being attached by his flashback yet threatening to kill himself as he was struggling to cope, it happens to men too) 

xxxxxxxx

Finding out friends have been through similar issues, sucks as I can appreciate the pain it can cause, sending a hug to all the peeps who have shit going on. 

One of the reasons I love BDSM is it gives opportunity for people to know what they are getting into and have open discussions. 

(I wasn't going to put my experience up, it still gets me every so often but there is a light at the end of the tunnel)

xxxxxxxxxx

how imaginative a game of 'never have I ever' on here might end up, it would either go really well or horrendously. 

ive started writing my book this evening 😄 any suggestions for writing dialogue would be wonderful, thanks x

having the feeling of arms around me would be wonderful, safe cosy and wholesome even if it is an illusion. Having that sense of closeness, would be wonderful. I give in now.... its a need not a want anymore... fyi to any idiots reading this im not in the mood to be messed with.