Oh, my doves.
Why do you lie? Why, when trying to get together with someone, do you try to deceive them? What kind of foundation is that for a relationship? Hell, what kind of foundation is that for a one night stand? And why, oh, why, do you lie when it's so demonstrably OBVIOUS that you are lying? Do you think that it will get you anywhere?
I wonder, sometimes, if some of you, as children, drew all over the walls at home, and when your parents confronted you with your misdeed, you said, "I didn't do it!"
"Well, who did it, then, the dog? Did someone break into the house and do it?" they might have asked.
"I don't know! It was somebody else!" There were marker stains on your hands, and no other children lived there, but then... did... did your parents decide you were telling the truth? Did they say, "gosh, well, he said he didn't do it! It MUST have been the dog" and go punish the dog, or like, fill out a police report of breaking and entering toddlers?
I just... what's your endgame? How did you grow up like this?
My profile has entire-ass paragraphs. I'm looking for long term partners, and I truly do not believe it is too much to ask to read the whole "about me" section. It's incredibly rare for people who message me on here to actually do so. That, in and of itself, is pretty sad, but what's REALLY sad is when I ask someone if they HAVE read it, and they claim to have... but it is clear that they haven't.
There are specific instructions in my profile. A policy my Master and I have, and my own version of, I suppose, a human-oriented catchpa. "Are you a serious lifestyler, or are you a horny net guy who is just casting a wide net with form letters, trawling for pussy?"
Most people fail that catchpa pretty spectacularly. It isn't even hard to follow the directions. So, when they tell me, "I have read your entire profile," and they haven't followed the directions, it tells me one of two things:
1. They are a liar, and I cannot trust them. If they are going to lie about something as simple as this, I can't trust that they won't lie about their sexual practices, or actual experience in the lifestyle, or any number of things that are vital to my safety,
*or*
2. They DID read it, but have no respect for boundaries, and will try to trample over mine, thinking themselves an exception, for some reason, because of their Big Magical Dom Dick Energy, I guess? They don't think the rules apply to them. I cannot trust them to honor a safeword, not stealth me, or respect the boundaries of my relationships.
Congratulations, bro, you just played yourself.
Look, if you don't know something? BE HONEST. Nobody knows everything. It's ok! Maybe it'll mean we aren't compatible. That's ok! Better to find out now than have a disaster later because you were dishonest, ruining your reputation, and maybe lives, in the process, right?
If you didn't do something, BE HONEST. "No, sorry, looking at your tiddies got me excited, and I decided to message you, but I didn't read your profile. I'll do so now." Wow, see? Owning up to it, that shows you are responsible and willing to fix things, willing to work with someone and recognize that something is important to them. MASSIVE bonus points for then coming back with messaging my partner, and passing the catchpa.
Just, listen. Stop lying. I'm not your over-indulgent momma. I'm not gonna take your shit. I'm a sub, but I'm not YOUR sub, and I'm no-one's doormat. I wouldn't stay with a dom who was a liar, and I won't get together with one, either.
Be a responsible adult. Now, THAT'S sexy.
