redhairedcountrygirl(sub female){Not lookin}

Finding the true me

A place to share my oh so very random thoughts, stories, creativity & whatever else I see fit as I travel this road.

Men, all the same......

3 years ago. October 5, 2021 at 4:38 AM

"You're a helluva cook & a great fuck", he said. "But I don't want you, don't NEED you in my bed."

"Get up. Go home. You poor, pitiful fool. Your body was mine & just simply a tool".

You Dom's, you men, are all the same. You say what we want to hear. Make us believe. Then leave us feeling insane.

"How can you do this?", I scream. "You asked all the right questions. Said all the right things. You broke down my defenses....then took my trust and turned it into a game?".

"Was I ever anything? Anything at all to you? Or was I only intended to be a plaything? Just something to do."

I gave you my all. Body and mind. Trusted you with my secrets & was nothing but kind.

You had some struggles and a bit of a hard time. I was extra in checking on you. Making sure you were fine.

I wanted you to know, no matter what, I was there. That I gave a damn and truly cared.

My world went to shit in a matter of days. I was so confused, scared and lost in a haze.

So I turned to you, "my Dom", for advice. Started to work hard on my body and mind.

Things got better, then started to fade. You used to answer in minutes, then hours.. now it's been days.

I had a moment of weakness, but was honest with you about what I'd done. It was innocent, really, just a dance..a little fun.

I knew who my "Sir" was. I had no reason to lie. I told you I was loyal, and proved that several times.

I asked you to let me know when you made it home safe. And at 3 a.m., I got a message that was a slap in the face.

The last message you sent simply read "Home, partied, pissed, not pissed". Your cryptic words rang constantly in my head. What the fuck? What did I miss?

Was I not good enough? Did you just need an excuse? Or maybe I was too good & it was you that was confused?

I know you messaged me in a drunken state... But at least you could have some balls and be man enough to explain.

You once asked me "Don't you see I'm not like other men?". Oh no, no no hunny.... You're EXACTLY like them.

You've just proven to me, you "men", you "Dom's" are all the same. You take our most sacred trust and turn it in to a game.

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - I don't know if you know this but "pissed" is another word for drunk. It's English slang.

3 years ago

redhairedcountrygirl(sub female){Not lookin} - I know it is. But, as I said above, he used to answer in minutes, then hours.. now it's been days.

3 years ago

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - I know the feeling. Not to be overly nosy but Is this the "cowboy" you mentioned previously?

3 years ago

redhairedcountrygirl(sub female){Not lookin} - Yes. Yes it is

3 years ago

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - I'm sorry to hear that. I only know one cowboy but he has been quiet due to being very ill and just prior to that, he was cowkicked so busted a couple ribs. We talk nearly every day, even if it's just a quick, "hey, I'm still alive. Bye. Time to go do shit."

3 years ago

The Kinky Poet(other male) - I'm very sorry for you but not all men are the same. I know I'm neither Dom or Sub, I'm just a poet but I was brought up to respect all woman and I'm proud to say I do. I hope things get better for you soon
Love and light T.K.P

3 years ago

redhairedcountrygirl(sub female){Not lookin} - Good morning, T.K.P. I'm glad you respect all of us. He was raised that way too. But, here we are, no communication of any kind, for better than a week.

3 years ago

dollMaker(dom male) - There are plenty of shit lords about, but no not all men are the same, but sadly statistically there are more toxic ass holes about than not. This character sounds like a complete scum bag, I am sorry this happened. I hope you find someone worthy of you.

3 years ago

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - If she misunderstood his use of "pissed" to mean angry and not drunk, then this is all a miscommunication and him not being a scumbag. Maybe that's why he said "pissed, not pissed", (translation: drunk, not angry).

3 years ago

dollMaker(dom male) - The first few lines above suggest otherwise, and I am aware of the meanings of ‘pissed.’

‘ "You're a helluva cook & a great fuck", he said. "But I don't want you, don't NEED you in my bed."

"Get up. Go home. You poor, pitiful fool. Your body was mine & just simply a tool". ’

Are these the words of a decent person? I don’t think so.

3 years ago

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - Oh yeah, that was said wasn't it? I was working at the time so read it quickly and I *think* I read it as a back and forth conversation. My own troubles are probably skewing my reading comprehension. My apologies.

3 years ago

redhairedcountrygirl(sub female){Not lookin} - But if it was a miscommunication, why no communication in over a week?

3 years ago

redhairedcountrygirl(sub female){Not lookin} - That's the thing though. He wasn't. But with zero communication, in over a week, after his last message, it's how I feel.

3 years ago

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - And how you feel is valid because it's YOUR experience. You have every right to feel whatever you feel. Your heart isn't rented. You don't have to treat it like someone else's property that you just happen to be taking care of. It's yours and it feels what it wants to feel. Let it.

I would just advise you make sure that it has a direction to aim rather than wide-swathing it's pain. Keep your innocence and allow hope to thrive that the next one will "be the one". And if that doesn't work out, rinse and repeat. You don't want to pay for the hurts other women inflict so try not to let other men pay for the hurts of others. 💗

3 years ago

MsDove(sub female){Eternal Pi} - Dear friend, you deserve better. This man does not have the maturity to be a Dominant. He is not being respectful. At this point it doesn't matter if you misunderstood him or not. The silence, while excruciating, tells you all you need to know (sans a coma). My guess is that you ignored some clues or red flags in the hope that it would work out (we have all done that, we are all human after all).

I am sorry you have had to go through this. He has taken enough of your valuable time. Take stock of what you learned. Cut him loose. I know it sounds harsh, but until you do, there won't be room for anyone else.

You deserve to love and to be loved... and nothing less.

Sending hugs, Annie 🕊

3 years ago

justcurvysub - This. so damn much. Thank you for sharing this.

3 years ago

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redhairedcountrygirl​(sub female){Not lookin}

Finding the true me

Men, all the same......

redhairedcountrygirl(sub female){Not lookin}