So I went to another event tonight. This one was more people and not specialized. I felt sort of lost as I didn't know many people. I saw a few that I had met from the FemDom play party but they were surrounded by a mass of humanity. But this is something I will need to get use to if I want to get to know people, get recognized, and accepted.
One thing I may need to learn is to be more forward and talking to people. It isn't my style and I feel uncomfortable intruding on there conversations and lives. SO I just sort of stand back and watch. But I also sort of feel inferior as I am a male submissive and it seemed most of the males at the event were Doms. I know that isn't true, but it is my mental thinking. It is strange that in my vanilla life I can approach and tell males and females what they need to do and how to do it. But when I get into this lifestyle I am like, "If you need me I will be over here in the corner"
Then again the BIG BDSM scene isn't for me without someone in charge of me. Maybe I just search out just the FemDom scene and get broken in there. But I do have other events planned. Other adventures to experience. I just need to just keep swimming ... just keep swimming and don't give up. Things will get better someday.