Chaotic and twisted thoughts of my mind

Ask me how I want to be loved

And this is my only reply

I am like a book thats been read enough times that there's no hesitation in the spine.

I know that I am not difficult to read but sometimes I wish someone would think im half as mysterious as I want to be.

I like sunsets and shooting stars as much as the next person.

I love simplicity and raindrops.

So if you want to know how to love me spend a little extra time appreciating all of my ordinary.

Make me belive the  in stars in a way that no one else does.

Convince me that my fascination with rain drops is worth your adoration.

Search for the intricity in my simplicity, look for the reflection of the stars in my eyes.

And when you love an open book remember to love between the lines.

People ask 

Why i love storms 

I never know how to explain it.

Maybe its becouse thunder 

Never pretends to be silence 

The sky breaks when it needs to.

The rain falls without apology.

And the wind dosnt ask permission 

to be felt.

There is something honest 

about a storm.

Something i wish more 

people where.

So when the clouds gather,

I dont run. I Listen.

Becouse some of us find peace

in places the world

Expects us to fear.

Reflections

She walks alone, her wolf by her side.

The darkness her home.

The girl in white lace, with mud apon her face.

She finds reflections in the waters edge.

Sometimes clear allowing clarity.

Sometimes it reveals the path ahead.

Full of strength and self worth.

Sometimes a path of the unknown.

Full of mystery and stories untold.

Change in currents leave the water murky.

Revealing glimpses of scars.

Of lost loves, heartache and scars with stories untold.

No matter of time spent seeking clarity reveals no answers.

She walks her journey unknown and untold.

Allowing her eyes to shine bright.

Each step takes her somewhere.

Sometimes forward.

Sometimes back.

Little Miss hopeless romantic.

Little Miss people pleaser.

Little Miss answers your text right away and hands out trust without a second glance.

Little Miss falling in love with people who need healing more than love.

Little Miss always sees the good.

Little Miss making excuses for your understanding kindness.

Little Miss loved you too much.

Little Miss couldn't walk away when I knew I should.

Little Miss 2 and 3 chances, 4 and 5th and 6th.

Little Miss had enough.

Little Miss beginning to unravel the lies you told me.

Little Miss realising empty hearts deserve empty hands.

Little Miss taking back who I was before all of this.

Little Miss realising that I am worth more.

Little Miss I am my Little Miss before I was yours.

Anticipation builds the moment her eyes open. 

The hours before they meet feels like forever.

Excitement and nervousness rush through her body.

Something new so scary yet so exciting.

A hunger she knows burns within.

Trust built over time leaves her with no fear.

She knows she is safe with him.

To be naked raw intimate primal.

To allow your mind to be free to simply follow instinct.

To let go of all inhabitation.

To allow him to lead.

She stands before him not knowing how to lead.

Simple touch calms racing thoughts.

Commands lead to quiet.

No need to think.

Hands trace skin.

Every curve every inch.

Soft gentle yet strong.

He leads.

Time disappears somewhere between pleasure and pain.

In that moment.

She is his.

His to use for his every need.

She has a hunger a desire to be used by him.

Lost in a moment time and place.

She waits and watches.
He gathers his ropes.
Her day long, her mind full.
Her ears listen intensity.
Anticipation, excitement.
Her eyes watch.
With what ropes will he chose tonight.
The smell of rope lingering in the air.
Familiar, calming.
The running of ropes
Finding the bite.
She listens intently.
He steps forward.
The touch of rope
Falls on her skin.
Dangles upon her like a skilk dress.
Ran through hands of the craftsmen.
His hands brush her skin.
Rope follows hands
Such a beautiful dance in sight.
His breath left lingering on her neck.
She counts everyone
Of them.
Knots made.
Some gently hug.
Tention pulled they
Bite a little harder.
Her mind starts to drift.
She finds quiet and calm.
A grounding She longs to live in.
She is now his master peice.
And he her artist.

Roles/Titles where has the depth and meaning of the lifestlye gone?

The old ways seem lost to the new.

So many rush without understanding, education and forget that titles and roles hold a meaning, respect and depth behind them.

As I scroll the net I see it so many times titles thrown out there.

I question have you educated your self on the true meaning of that title?
Does it represent you?
Are you true to that title?

One i see often in two diffrent forms is Alpha Sub

Below is the original meaning of what a Alpha sub is...

Alpha Sub
An Alpha Sub is a Submissive who holds a position of power within a polyamorous or hierarchical BDSM structure. They are often the "lead Sub" within a dynamic involving multiple submissives and may have authority to give orders to lower-ranking submissives while still being subordinate to the primary Dominant.

The new ways states basically that a Aplha sub is a strong sub that does not submit easily and is capable of looking after themselves and does not need a Dominant as they are in control of their every day life unless they choose to submit.

To me all subs are strong in their own way, in their own submission.

They may have a stressful job or day to day lifestlye.


When we choose to submit to someone it is becouse we have found that Dominant worthy as they do with us.

One who can give us grounding and quiet.
Allow us to have a safe place within them where the outside world drifts away.

That is the exchange of power.

It dosnt matter if your a puppy/little/service sub ect all subs are strong in their own way.

submission is a strength in its own.

Something I find frustrating is when people can't own their errors.

Yes we are all human..

Yes we are all imperfect..

I am the first one to admit that..

The first one to admit overthinking runs rampid in my mind...

This leads to mistakes..

But i own it...

This lifestyle is something I hold close to my heart..

This lifestyle is something I will protect..

I will speak up..

I will protect the newbies....

So many of the old ways lost to the new...

If people don't speak up and help educate the new ones will be lost or even worse hurt..

When I first found the lifestlye all I wanted to do was learn and help educate others on what I had discovered so far...

Those that claim extensive knowledge or being well seasoned but know not the basics be Humble.. 

If you make a mistake own it and don't claim to be what your not..

                                They say

                      " Your to kind, to soft

                            For this world."

              And my desperate urge to reply 

             " Maybe, But I'd rather bleed with 

         Softness then survive by turning stone.

       Because even If this world Swallows me

                        Whole..At lest I'll know 

                               I stayed true 

This is something I get and see quiet often and  to be honest it's slowly starting to drive me a little nuts..

People often strangers start a comment or message by calling someone sweetheart, honey, baby, good girl ect.

On the surface it seems harmless. For some maybe even being ment as being "polite" or "friendly".

But for many who receive these kinds of messages or replies to comments, it's not friendly. It's not sweet.

Its annoying and uncomfortable and sometimes outright disrespectful. 

So I write a few words about why these unsolicited pet names don't land the way you think they do. 

Why does it feel off?? 

When you call someone a pet name, your implying a level of familiarity that simply dosnt exist.

You are trying to fast forward into a space of intimacy  with out earning it.

It's like walking up to a stranger at a bus stop and calling them "babe" it's wired...

In the lifestyle context it's even worse.

Words like good girl aren’t just cutesy nicknames here, there part of a power exchange.

They carry meaning in a dynamic and consent.

When you throw those terms at someone you don’t know,  your trying to place  yourself in a Dominant role they never agreed to.

It's presumptive Dominance plain and simple.

How it makes people feel...

Like their personal space is being invaded.

Like their autonomy is being ignored.

Like their role or identity is being assumed without consent. 

Like their being objectified, not engaged with.

And for alot of subs it's not just one message, it's dozens over and over again.

That gets tiring fast.

Eventually people just stop posting, stop replying and disappear all together.

And frankly that's a loss for all of us as a community.

Intent dosnt erase impact.

I know many people don't mean harm.

Sometimes it's bad habits, sometimes it's poor social calibration, sometimes it's just ignorance.

But intention isn't a free pass.

If your words make someone feel uncomfortable or disrespected, then you crossed a line Wether you ment it or not.

Tips on how not to be that person..

Use the name that person gives you to use.

Build a connection before using intimate language.

Understand that pet names are part of  negotiated dynamics, not  casual conversation starters.

I've rambled enough so in conclusion, if you wouldn't walk up to someone in the real word and call them good girl, or baby before even knowing their name then maybe don't do it online either.

In the lifestyle where consent is supposed to be the core of everything we do, this shouldn't be hard.

Your words say more about you than you think. 

Choose them carefully.