I am going to take a bunch of flak and crap for this post, since it runs counter to the Cage mantra of ALWAYS taking time to get to know the other person, to take it slow and talk, talk, talk about all possibilities of some connection if, or when, or maybe.
That sounds so reasonable, how could anyone argue with it?
Except that is not how first Connections seem to happen, at least not in my experience. Not always, or even often, but now and then it goes like this: I scan, then go back and consider an intriguing post or profile..or maybe she does.
Then there is a short, tentative note. A response. And KAPOW! Instant lightning bolts, needs nakedly exposed. the earth shifts a bit.
Only after the OMGs! have been exchanged, only then after a clear awareness that there is the potential for an unusual connection, only then does the
mantra of talk, talk, talk and Getting To Know Each Other kick in.
Now I am not a newbie member sub being constantly circled and attacked by sharks, so perhaps I am being too cavalier in sidestepping the warnings about always starting with a virtual coffee shop meeting and hours of conversation.
I just want to note that some great and long-lasting D/s connections start with bombs bursting in air, bulges in pants and instantly wet panties . Safely holding back and doing the "Getting To Know You" minuet is not the only way to connect (and maybe less often how it really happens than some would imply).
My point is not to say the common advice about calmly talking things out before any touching happens is wrong. ... Just that sometimes we just get overwhelmed, and yes, that can work beautifully, too.