2018
I struggle too.
I am lost at times. My focus is sure. My compass resolute. My arms empty though.....
The strongest are often those who are the most desperate in need. Holding everyone else up is a tough task. Lifting up all is a selfless and worthy calling. But is also at times, very draining. I field all of the hurts and joys of dominants and submissives alike. The anger, the pain, the sadness, the victories, the hopes, the dreams....and seek to wipe away the tears, and applaud the successes right with you. Bringing clarity or encouragement. While my own sight is dimmed with loss or void of cheer.
Please don’t misunderstand me, please SEE ME. I don’t ask for your platitudes or pity. I don’t seek your worry or fuss. Just your understanding.....maybe, your acceptance....
As a dominant, we are so strong for all. Supposedly, all the time. Domly Doms don’t hurt. Don’t feel loss. Don’t suffer with loneliness. Don’t need anyone. I am sorry....are we not human? Do we not have feelings? Aren’t we allowed to? Why don’t you see us too?
No, you can’t meet all of a dominants needs. They suffer often in silence when all they want to do is scream. The violent elegantly filthy dirtiness that is their pure heart for aiding all seeks to just release their need in wholeness and support. Don’t they deserve the recognition of their guidance?
A dominant is a peculiar breed....I have never met a dominant that in their genuine authenticity isn’t the greatest of givers. At a glance, you might say they’re submitting in the extreme. And, maybe, we are. Servant-leadership. Leading by example. Showing all how to.....and in the process...sometimes, just sometimes, we run out. We become empty.
Dominants find many ways to cope. Hiding behind sarcasm, wit or silence. Masking our confusion by pouring ourselves out more and more. Filling up on the joys and happiness of others we can seem “perfect” while silently struggling to just exist. Often, not always, we just need to devour and swallow the submissive in our care without a feeling or thought in the world but total consumption...to ease the pain. To find some peace.
When we as dominants seek your support, never turn us away. Never say hurtful and abusive things like, “You’re a dominant! I’m just a little submissive, I need to be taken care of by you!” or, “Grow up!” or, “Oh get over it!” There is no quicker way to destroy another human being than being dismissive, narcissistic or ignoring. DON’T DO IT.
There is no solution. I seek no “answer”. This is part of being a healthy dominant. Give, and then give some more. When you’re done.....give more. And process your need as you know how, healthily, because that is giving to others too.
For all of you dominants out there.....I will always be here. If EVER, you need a shoulder or an advocate for brutally honest introspection I will answer. Always. And should you find yourself weary, run down, in need of renewal of energy and strength to carry on caring.....PLEASE, know....you’re not alone. Never alone. Many have gone before you that have paved weary paths of guidance, support, encouragement, and hope for peace.
This dominant hopes you....and I.....have the strength and courage to accept we do not have to do it all alone.
What are things that you can do as a dominant that fuels you back up?
When you are lonely and without those around you that you can trust to help you, where do you turn?
May you find peace....
Drago and Amethyst
