I made a promise to myself, and I broke it. I vowed that I would never feel unsafe again. That no one would ever hurt me again. Looking back, I realize it was a naive promise. I have a top of the line home security system with cameras, motion sensors, and glass sensors. I have multiple panic buttons and a live monitoring station. When I go out to places, I automatically check where the entrances and exits are. I don't like my back turned to the people walking by. But sometimes things are just out of our control, and there's nothing we can do to stop it.
I work as a corporate store manager for a telecommunications store. It shouldn't be a high-risk job, but I could shock you with stories. Since I'm the manager, it is ultimately my responsibility to keep my employees safe. I have various courses in how to deal with high-risk or violent situations as well as on de-escalation techniques. But sometimes that doesn't matter. And I hate to say it, but facts are a lot of aggressive incidents I deal with are due to being a female and my age.
In early 2022, a customer assaulted me at work. He returned to my store after being refused service for no photo ID. Because I had verified that he could not access his phone account, in his eyes, I was to blame. He vaulted over the counter onto me and knocked me down to the ground. He then started punching me in the face and head. When my staff started screaming and a crowd was forming, he quickly fled the scene. He was tracked down, arrested, and received a restraining order.
I suffered a concussion and started having migraines that I still have issues with now. I had extreme anxiety to go out in public places, especially malls or crowds. I attended 6 months of a Brain Injury Rehabilitation program because I was having multi-tasking problems, fumbling for words and short-term memory loss. I recovered fully, and my cognitive functions are back to normal. I attended physiotherapy for months because of neck difficulties and vertigo. The assault aggravated my PTSD and my nightmares grew worse for months because my sense of safety had been shattered. I felt like being safe was an illusion, and I still do.
I had to testify in court for the crown prosecutor. My attacker sat and stared at me the whole time. I dug my nails so hard into the palms of my hands until the pain centred me. During cross examination by his lawyer, they referred to it as an "accident." Then the judge asked me some questions and referred to it as an "accident." You see, the defense was that the defendant was Two-Spirited. This is part of the LGBTQ2 spectrum. He is Indigenous and felt he has a female spirit. Why does this matter for the criminal charges? Because his lawyer claimed he was in a stressful state and it was just an accident.
Now I hate the word accident. It makes me want to scream. I hate that my company shuffled it under a rug and tried to hide it for everyone or just ignore it. And most of all, I hate that he was found "Not Guilty" and received no punishment for his crime.
