The Culture that has been here all the time

It is a new year, but all my efforts to find ways to get help as a caregiver for my wife have all ended with nothing. She still can walk (shaky) and eat, so there is no HOSPICE, and our doctor hasn't prescribed the necessary evaluation.

I lack funds for private help, and our tiny retirement fund blocks most, if not all, extra aid beyond regular Part C Medicare.

Is this what the US is becoming? The space patrol sends Flash's* best friend to investigate a planet where it is reported that mercy is a crime and the weak are exploited. . . . —David Bassler

*)

Dreaming about being free enough to sit in a restaurant and have someone serve me and someone else wash the dishes. It hasn't happened for years. The thought brought up my memories of working sound and lights for Richie Havens ant the Cafe Wha several times in the 1960s.

Lonely times damaged me, and I may be too far gone.

In the present, we see groups of people on Earth that could be classified by potential based on how much intelligence they manifest: 1. Brilliant and 2. Not Smart at all.

One professor in college explained it this way without any reference to race: In one culture, intelligent people were not permitted to marry and have children, but in another culture, intelligent people were encouraged to marry and have children. He explained that the result was that in the culture where smart people were encouraged to marry and have children, that culture had increased numbers of smart people. And the level of intellect grew higher as well.

This, coupled with negatives such as criminals passing on their negative tendencies as well as cruelty, was passed on in some cultures in a similar manner. The examples were not racial but vividly based on culture.

A friend told me once, "Some people should not be allowed to reproduce based on their behavior." Simplistic and dangerous, yes. Mainly because who gets to decide which people are worthy of reproduction and which are not? We know of one time during the twentieth century when this was extreme in Europe.

Have you ever decided not to think about or participate in intimate sex?

Is it easy? It is for a little while, but suddenly, like being caught in a snare, something or someone traps you. He or she lures you into that lust-filled ache feeling within you that was sleeping. 

What if then you have no choice because you do not have a lover?

For me, endure and give up. It will pass, and I will fall back into the nothing I was lured out of.

Place yourself back when you were young, and the thought of finding the right soulmate filled your heart and mind. OK, some of us let our youthful hormones rule us, and we seemed out of control with sexual desire. However, even after a wild youth, a wild time in the army, and two marriages and two children, I finally settled down. Circumstances as to why my second marriage ended were outside the norm and affected by having a son with a serious heart defect. His mom, an RN, truly believed he would die young and left us.

Even in the most distracted years of my youth, I hoped for that one true love. Aside from the health issue of my son, the first two marriages were also in trouble because of things about me I failed to recognize clearly. That all changed when I became a single parent with my 18-month-old son and was gifted my 14-year-old Madonna clone daughter. Even her abusive boyfriend enlightened me. The stage was set for a new life.

My third wife, with a boy and a girl of her own, connected, and we repaired our two damaged households the best we could. The other parents were not as disciplined, so it was as if we were the bad guys many times, back to romantic love.

We began hardly knowing each other but were willing to learn, adaptive, and put an effort into communication. We shared many mutual experiences with our kids, but when just she and I focused on our relationship. We built trust and memories a little at a time and, over forty years, managed to avoid past mistakes, and we worked through challenges in child rearing, job losses, and almost losing our home twice. Yes, the forty-year shared journey that began with 'Let death do us part and remains so even as I care for her with amplified dementia (ADA).

No, it isn't happiness. It is a form of contentment, knowing I can keep my word without receiving any benefit beyond that.

I am surprised that a crazy "do-gooder" - like a cousin who admonished me, calling me lazy and saying that I should get off my ass as a caregiver and help myself hasn't appeared at my front door to help us. Or, an altruistic "bleeding heart" hasn't rang my doorbell. No, I have tried every avenue to acquire caregiver help that I have learned about (from counselors and share groups), but I only continue with the "status quo."

I have been expressing our needs to healthcare people and even social workers in the hospital the last time I brought my wife there. The remnants of our two small retirement funds are insufficient to pay for help but disqualify us from government help.

I say, "Humans and dogs can get used to anything," so I have adapted to this depressing life. No, I haven't given up. I always have an action plan in the works, although 99% of these plans fall short.

I'm just venting today.

"It is the journey" means that the most important part of something is not the final destination or goal, but the experiences and lessons learned along the way, emphasizing the process and the growth that happens during the pursuit rather than just the outcome itself. "

There is nothing more rational than the journey to an idyllic relationship. The universal appeal of boy meets girl love story is timeless. Most of us want to see a happy ending and may even cry when it is tragic. 

People also ask:
What is the number one reason couples break up?
Lack of Communicatio

I submit that the probability of a perfect match is minimal. Instead, the two people with mutual interests and the ability to work out differences in the spirit of love evolve together.