The Culture that has been here all the time

My readers, I do have time to think despite constantly engaged in caregiving on the level of a trained nurse.

Sub, Dom, Dom Sub, who teaches who? Both teach each other.

The term kinky covers a vast set of parameters - from oral sex to restraints, whips, and psychological aspects.

I believe we all have things to learn at all levels. The first task is to define boundaries, and the second is to outline likes and dislikes. Then, practice and adjustments in the kink adventure. While all this is primarily centered on the sexual role, each must consider life together in several other aspects. The greatest is companionship based on trust and love.

Mistakes will occur, so it is healthy to have a forgiving heart. Giving room to grow into a rewarding relationship will ensure a quality of life beyond what conventional relationships seem to demonstrate. Why? Because in the BSDM realm, openness and honesty prevail, or it becomes just another form of convention and is doomed to the same ends that those relationships often suffer.

Enjoy each other for as long as you can.

Jim

Blog readers, I did not feel well this morning when I went to get my mail. At the same time, my neighbor did the same.

She said, "You don't look well today, Jim."

I replied, "You are correct; I am not feeling well." She knew I liked animals and birds, so she tried to cheer me up by letting me pet one of her cats.

Then she said, "Look up in your backyard tree. Some chickens have perched there to keep an eye on you. Maybe they can cheer you."

As I was looking up, I tried to take a picture of them with my cell phone,

but I got tripped by a rock and fell to the ground.

Something we all need at times?

 Oxford Dictionary: the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.
"thank you for all your support and encouragement"

What if we do not have the support and encouragement we need? We either find a way to succeed or succumb to failure. I have failed to care for my wife lately: a fall and digestive tract issues. The hospital had no help despite many tests.

Sometimes, I do not know how I keep going with little if any, support and encouragement. A small voice tells me to keep going, not to give up, get up off the ground, knock the mud off my face, and try again. 

There is a bugaboo. When I was young and optimistic, I peered into the tunnel of life, and it seemed there was light at the distant end. In these years now, when I peer into the tunnel of life, all I can see at the far end is a dark, foggy cloud.

We are an integral part of the Universe made out of stardust, so it would be fitting to return to the stars, don't you agree?

Well, folks, age matters in several ways. Many of my contemporaries are not with us or are filed away in a nursing home, but I am still going on as I have for the last twenty years at seventy-seven years old. Is it luck? It must have something to do with my genes because I smoked, drank, and partied hard in the first half of my life.

Then, for several decades, I reformed and led a sedate, then mostly boring life up until my wife became ill, and that stopped me in my tracks (that so far seems to be the end of my life for all practical purposes).

Young women are physically very attractive, but older women are still sexy and have experience and wisdom so that I would spend time with either or both.

I can dream, can I not?

Blog Readers, do you believe we all have to deal with the devil or devils, even if they are hidden in a closet?

Personal devils or existential devils?

That old saying: 

Google AI Overview
"The quote "better the devil you know than the devil you don't". It's an idiom that means it's usually better to deal with someone or something you're familiar with, even if you don't like them, than to deal with someone or something new that could be worse."

Me? I have many positive accomplishments in life to feel at ease about (many more not-so-good); however, having been raised by a family that believes in an all-knowing God that punishes sin had left scars within me, especially when it came to matters of sexuality. If I used scissors on Sunday, that was a sin. LOL.

Even now, at seventy-seven, thoughts of sex are always close at hand (libido alive and well). Even in a long drought without the enjoyment of sex, it lives within me. Ironically, doctors say sex is part of normal life and contributes to our feeling of well-being. 

For example, everything could be going well. I'm calm and content, and then I see a woman that I am attracted to, and my mind becomes occupied with fantasies and longing. I don't know how I made it through a forty-year marriage without cheating.

Now, these days, my wife's cognitive issues have left her uninterested in sex. I thought she would be upset and jealous if a woman visited me and we spent time together, but as it turned out, my wife is highly disturbed if I watch too much television, and she ignored the visiting woman (one brief example). She spent more effort standing before the television, even if I was the only one watching. My wife will interact playfully with a visitor and seems happy with that.

Perhaps she grows tired of only me, a male caregiver, spending so much time with her doing my nurse-like job.

So, it seems that my deamons pound at my head and heart and can not allow me to enjoy healthy kinky sex anymore. Is this my end?

If you are reading this, you have put up with my blog. Sometimes, ok, sometimes just a shit post now and then.

Full Circle? Yes I have been many times through the Yin and Yang scenario. 

When I started in life, I was so ignorant I needed adults to lead me by the hand, feed me, teach me to speak, and change my diaper.

Then, one day, I discovered I knew everything that I needed to know (duh).

That was fine until I found out about sex, and the whole world became a new planet. Sex drive made most of my decisions, and it was sex that was the center of my universe.

Oh wo and oh wow and back again. Every female I liked didn't like me.  Those who liked me, I didn't like. Some gay guys failed to convert me, and in the end, after a stupid youth, I married three times. The third is the one that lasted forty years - as they say, three is a charm. Old, not just older. I don't know why I am cursed with a strong libido with no one to apply my desire to.

Full Circle?

Now, once again, I don't know "nothin". "De Ja Vu all over again." YB

Many of my peers succumbed to the second law of Thermodynamics, and their energy returned to the Universe, but they left the chemical elements to blow in the wind.

If you visit a nursing home, you will learn that if we live long enough, we go back to the beginning. We are led by the hand and fed, and our diapers are changed again.

FULL CIRCLE? YES - not for me. Oh, one more thing: Once again, we don't know anything it seems. And the women I like don't like me, and the ones I like are not "my type," LOL.

If you are religious, this post is not for you.

Can you remember anything about the world's reality before you were born? Unless you believe in reincarnation (I don't believe in reincarnation myself), you can not know anything about life before you were born. Why is this a critical thought to consider?

It is essential because when you die, the "lights go out again," there is nothing like the nothing there was before you were born. You will not know anything about the realities after you are gone.

I can not even say you would be oblivious because that would imply you had some sort of connection to some sort of reality. No, that is our end, period.

You can remove the poor boy from the lower class (yours truly is one), but you can never elevate him to a higher class.

Greed is the true religion of the US, and common Religions lead the way. No matter how poor my family was, "The Church" always wanted its cut.

I don't want to incite a nasty debate; I only want to suggest I am a man without religion, and I have my reasons; I will never return to religion ever again.

The church we had belonged to for decades - and my wife was a diligent servant - was the first group of people we were associated with that left me to care for her by myself when she was diagnosed with dementia (the last four years have been hard). Next came family, and by that time, I no longer had friends as well. I will continue to care for my wife until my last breath or her last breath.

Bitter? Yes. I do not expect that I will have a caregiver for me when that time arrives.

My wife still has diarrhea, and I still have a big caregiver challenge.

You, my friend, probably do not lose sleep thinking about cosmology as I have (Though I know it is not logical). However, perhaps you should consider "Forever and for always" and its implications. My wife and I selected that concept as our wedding theme and song forty years ago, and it is one reason I remain her caregiver through these challenging times.

Science is like any other human activity; it is dynamic and not static. Contrary to what was once believed, it isn't absolute either. Things change: theories and data are updated, new tools make changes, and the use of mathematics is also fluid. 

Once, we thought the Earth was the center of the Universe, followed by the Sun and then the Milky Way Galaxy. With each update, our perception of reality is altered. Take, for example, "The Big Bank" theory and the expanding cosmos. To read about this carefully, the suggestion is that the Cosmos began from nothing and will end in nothing (functionally) sometime in the distant future. Relavent for us, NO! Don't lose sleep thinking about this.

New data and theories suggest the universe is infinite (many spin-off topics are addressed in science fiction literature and cinema). The James Webb Space Telescope (JWST) has added mystery to the origin of the Universe. Was there a "Big Bang"? What existed before this theoretical birth of our Universe? No one knows - we have only theory.

Perhaps your past lovers are still making love with you in the past. Or maybe with another you in a parallel Universe?

Where is the center of the universe (where the Big Bang occurred), and where is its edge?

As counterintuitive as it may seem, the universe has no center, and it has no boundary.

I know that the center of my reality (including my thoughts about the Cosmos) is in my mind based on what I believe is true.