The Culture that has been here all the time

Hello Friends,

In my teens, I thought I loved every girl that paid attention to me for five minutes. Then one day one really caught my attention. She became my first real girlfriend and we saw each other a lot. My hormones were raging and she did not discourage me when she turned eighteen. I gingerly over a couple of sexual times penetrated her. Then she went hog wild for sex. In the attic, in the car, in the closet in the basement stairs, in the basement, anywhere it took just a second to get going. Sometimes I came to visit she was the only one home and she was waiting for me and quickly seduced me.  It was super lust and I thought it was love. Eventually, she was pregnant and we married. It lasted 3 years.

Wife number two. After being divorced for a couple of years looking for a girlfriend was hard dates were easy. Then one day she walked into the store I managed and she was Blonde green eyes a slim energetic dancer. At a party, we talked until everyone left and it was just us and the candle. We got together several times and I didn't want to ruin the budding relationship because I was in love with her; who she was. Then we made love and she asked me why I took so long to make my move. She became my mistress for seven years before we married. It only ended when our son was born with usually was a terminal birth defect and she was an RN and ran off with the maintenance man where she worked. Much later her best friend told me she didn't want to be with us when he died.

Single parent and then my ex-first wife brought a teenage daughter and said take her I can't do anything with this Madona clone. She drinks  . . . she was a bad girl. So Dad had a baby and a bad girl.

Many girlfriends and a wacky heavy metal freak for a wild  (and best one ever) lover. Things imploded with my drinking. My first attempt to quit. My current wife led me to The Lord and we attempted to create a family for her boy and girl and my boy and girl. Only partially successful because shared custody lets the lax parents have them and spoil any attempt to discipline them.

My third marriage was more akin to an arranged marriage and commitment and priority to the kids kept us together long enough for love to grow. And that is where I am taking care of her though she is only a hint of the wife she used to be. And my nights are lonely and I wish I had a close companion at the end of the day.

Keep in mind that "Quality Sex isn't just for the Young."

"Many participants believed orgasms to be a significant component of great sex. Forty-nine individuals stated orgasms were an essential element of their sexual encounters. While some only emphasized their own orgasm, others prioritized their partner’s satisfaction. A number of participants considered mutual orgasms as a key element of great sex and multiple orgasms were particularly important for some women. Yet, interestingly, twenty participants asserted that orgasms were not a necessary element for sex to be great. "PsyPost.org  @PsyPost

What are the elements of sexual satisfaction? Pascoal PM, Narciso Ide S, Pereira NM. What is sexual satisfaction? Thematic analysis of lay people's definitions. J Sex Res. 2014;51(1):22-30. doi: 10.1080/00224499.2013.815149. Epub 2013 Sep 26. PMID: 24070214.

The first theme focuses on the positive aspects of individual sexual experience, such as pleasure, positive feelings, arousal, sexual openness, and orgasm.
 

"Emotional intimacy is a critical component of sexual satisfaction. Partners should make an effort to connect emotionally and build trust and intimacy. Emotional intimacy can be fostered through activities such as sharing feelings, taking time to listen to each other, and showing appreciation and affection." Dec 11, 2023

Absolutely for me? 1. A deep emotional connection for both of us 2. Foreplay from affection to passion for both of us 3. Chemistry for both of us 4. Loving after time for both of us.

Bottom line? It only takes one to execute sexual activity but it takes two to make love.

Hey all,

Another personal shared topic: is loneliness. You who follow me know I have been a caregiver for my wife of 39 years starting with her early onset diagnosis of dementia in 2017. The caregiving intensified over the last three years and so did my being isolated in a strange town, not my native State. We moved here because our family promised to help us but they have not A large part of the day I am busy but once I get my wife asleep in bed the loneliness swallows me up alive. I made many errors looking for a companion and have been significantly scammed. And although I have a woman who is a cyber love, she never came to me or visited me. My wife is but a fraction of what she once was slipping away from me slowly but steadily and the song by Brooks & Dunn - Neon Moon  Neon Rainbow lyric says it most excellently "When the sun goes down on my side of town That lonesome feeling comes to my door And the whole world turns blue .  .  ."

The doctors and shared group counselors tell me unless I get some respite and help soon I may pass away before my wife or many caregivers in my position do. I keep trying but either red tape shortage of funds or lack of family help. I abandoned looking for a companion online. The latest search seeking a sub to be my companion clashed with my Cyber Girlfriend's insistence that will be her job (whenever she gets here). so I ended my interviews for her sake. I know despite support groups' counselors and meds I am in some way damaged goods emotionally. I have a survivor instinct and that keeps me going.

In the meantime, I have my job as a caregiver and I have gone back to my songwriting and established a mini digital recording studio.

"When the sun goes down on my side of town That lonesome feeling comes to my door And the whole world turns blue .  .  ."

Hello, my Friends,

Things develop in this world as if they are controlled by outside forces. So it is like this: Every woman I was interested in seemed not to be interested in me. Then some women were interested in me, but the feelings were not mutual. So you go along your merry way and find a woman and things seem to go according to plans (Girls this also applies to your efforts and experiences too). Whether you have a partner or are still searching along comes a relationship not expected. One situation: Having a combative exchange with a woman who scammed me. Back and forth for months. Solutions not kept. In all this, she enters a vacant room in my heart. The turmoil turns more like a lover's quarreling. Your heart is broken then she fixes it then breaks it (or by some foolishness, you self-inflict a broken heart). Now you realize it is love. She seems to be in love with you but like forces in a tale like Romeo and Juliette you two just can not get together.

The mere thought of her excites you. Seeing her name excites you. Reading her messages excites you. Never being able to meet destroys you. Teenage love? Infatuation that took months to grow? But I am 76 years old how can this be? I feel both cursed and blessed. I can deal with it but like all the lovers in my past, she will always have a room in my heart. 

The relationship is still pending. Complete with plans that may happen or may not. You all know my circumstances as a caregiver for my seriously ill wife. I will not abandon her. Why am I on this site? I am entering a new world where I can love more than one woman and with my wife still living that is the case certainly. I may entertain and experiment with various permutations of relationships but sometime in the future, I want to return to a monogamous loving relationship sharing life with one woman. Whether it is the unnamed woman above or someone I have not yet met. But I refuse to let my love and desires die.

Hey Guys we all get older and since we sexually peaked in our late teens or twenties we have to be aware of the changes that can occur: Prostate issues are the major issues but erectile dysfunction is in the mix. It is said we all will experience an ED episode in our life and for some, it lingers. Cialis and Viagra can help but mind over matter comes into play. If you begin to worry about it the anxiety hinders your erection and performance. I am 76 and my libido is very strong but my prostate (no not cancer) has some calcium deposits and it affects my semen output and my ability to empty my bladder. Several things can be done: exercise, diet, supplements, and Flowmax for emptying my bladder helps too. Dry ejaculation is not a serious health issue but if you want to sire children it needs to be addressed. I am talking to my urologist but in the meantime, diet supplements and regular ejaculations improved the situation for me. If you experience retrograde orgasms the pleasure is the same but your partner may enjoy seeing your semen so you will have to work on it.

The main thing brothers? Cultivate your libido, keep sexually active, and see your doctor for help. I was deeply afraid of seeing a urologist but once I had the improvement started and the psychology was better understood helped me also. I have a Girlfriend who is 34 and she agreed we will have a baby together. Aside from working with a urologist you still have active sperm and in vitro (IVF) fertilization can be the answer as an option. My son and daughter choose not to provide grandchildren which is why I will have to procreate another son or daughter. Fortunately for me, my family has a history of longevity even the men who abused themselves with alcohol and smoking.  Therefore I may be able to share a significant amount of time with any child I would have late in life.

Remember two things: You can lose what you don't use and an active sex life keeps you healthy (my opinion).

Hello This Morning,

When I was a young man with a young woman our sexual there wasn't much to consider when it came to erogenous zones it came naturally and having sex happened spontaneously and it progressed swiftly because the desire was strong and the reactions were fast. Then As I aged I began to find myself wanting to increase the time making love and enhance the experience for myself and my partner. Gradually I sought and discovered ways to increase the arousal and the duration of (sex) making love. It was the beginning of learning what were and where were the erogenous zones. How to make use of that knowledge and explore the psychology behind arousal. "Kinks" are tied more to psychology than the physical arousal zones. My first knowledge of a kinky thing for me and a vivid pleasure experience for my lover was my giving oral sex to her.

My lover said, "You are getting kinky." And it went on ever since and my wife taught me some things and I experimented (and given a chance I will continue on this progression and experimentation, especially with external materials, rope, leather, role-playing, beads, games . . . etc.

But this is a post to assist those who need encouragement in learning about and exploring erogenous zones. One note not everyone has a favorite zone or way you will arouse her or him find out two ways: try it and ask. Here is a helpful link:

Hello all,

There comes a time when each of us must acknowledge we really can not know what is going on in the other person's mind. You may know someone for 50 years and think you know everything about them but you do not. How can each of us come to terms with two diametrically opposite aspects of our being? One, we need each other; some people more than others And two the need may or may not be fully understood but must still be consummated.

If there is a gigantic supercomputer we can call upon at will by the name of a Gigantic, Operational, Digital being (yes G.O.D.) containing more and more data we can get closer to the absolute knowledge we seek but never have it all; never reach Nervana; Never reach a complete understanding; Never reach a complete answer. From math, we have a limit and this is useful for many applications and even in this concept I am presenting about human interaction: [The term "limit" is used because it describes the value that a function approaches as the input gets closer and closer to a certain value, but never actually reaches it. ]

Implications: we can never completely know the other person. Or what they are thinking but we do not need to, we have free will. With free will two or more people can come to an agreement ignoring differences: Compromise if it is within the scope of the individuals. We can agree about Love, Sexuality, and our goals and purpose in life. The basic human needs: Understanding, acceptance, affection, Love, and sexual satisfaction can all be worked out with patience sincerity, and honesty. Go and find those you seek, need, and want, so your life may be fulfilled, now and into the future.

Dear Friends,

This post is very personal. For more than three years I have been the only caregiver for my wife with Alzheimer's in a town I accidentally wound up living in. I know virtually no one here and with no ability to have a social life that has not changed in two years in PA. I sought a companion online and was scammed heavily. Eventually, I was taken under the wings of a Dominatrix who has taught me about being a Master. Seems my wife of 39 years was a perfect Sub.  I unknowingly a very good Dom unaware that is what the relationship was precisely. I took care of us she took care of me and we were entirely monogamous. Then she got seriously ill and my whole life is under revision.

She has a very limited ability to be what she once was and I refuse to give her up. I will take care of her for as long as possible. The cost? Not the money I squandered the money. The loss of her interactions, help, her being my lover, and my connection to any kind of social life. I can't afford to have her watched and she can't be left alone; family was the first group of people to abandon us. So what am I looking for; and hoping for?

First I am not looking for a nurse for her or a replacement for her. I am looking for a woman sub who can be these in this order: Friend, Helper, Companion, and if it goes well affectionate lover. All that will be a process that takes time (that is all I have now). If the sub becomes all that for me? I will cherish her, care for her, and LOVE her. 

Hey friends,

I want to indulge in a little personal nostalgia. It was back in the 1960s when I was a singer-songwriter band leader and it happened in New York City which I now call my Paris experience. "The City" was especially exciting in Greenwich Village where I rubbed elbows with famous and to be famous artists of all kinds and celebrities. This post isn't a who is on my list bragging or complaining let's just say important people took me under their wings and helped me in many ways. My age was 16 - 18 (maybe 19). Wild and free but earned my way from all I had was $10 when I arrived. Got a couple of cheap downers for 25 cents each and got a room at the Village Gate that was a house of horrors, with perverts and winos I got a room that resembled a prison cell for $1.25 a day. Before the second week, I met a guy who gave me access to his crash pad and a Job as a doorman at the Cafe' Wah. It was one of the greatest jobs I had in my life. Those stories are for another time this one is about me becoming a Dom without knowing it.

Move on a few months and I had a band and was popular too. Liberal folk-rock: Me a mutt with several Eastern European Gene mixes, a Scottish immigrant, an Apache Indian (sorry Native American), and two black guys. WE HAD A GREAT TIME. The Girls were abundant and loved us. Most Tenie Boppers.

I had about seven girls (friends?) at the same time. Didn't get caught lucky boy. Some brought me money by panhandling, some brought me cigarettes the same way, some just hung out like an entourage but some were subs to where they gave me sexual delights. At the peak of my

popularity, I saw a blonde girl who I didn't know was in front of the Night Owl where the "Lovin Spoonful" playing a set at that very moment (Glass Window).  I had friends with me and she was with other girls I knew so I just walked up and tapped her on the shoulder and said, "You don't know me but you will."  I walked away that night we were making love in the crash pad. 

So many misadventures, adventures, mistakes, and successes later here I am a Dom, who a Dominatrix is transforming into a Master (She already calls me Master).

... A feminine woman seems gentile (my wife grew up with three brothers watch out when she got mad); feminine mannerisms and gestures are pleasing and counter my awkward almost clumsy ways; a feminine woman sees the world differently and alerts me to something I missed like I am getting angry; a sub female does her work without complaint (my wife); I feel wonderful when she holds and kisses me; when we are on the same page having sex IS MAKING LOVE.

She often fights nice when she fights with you unless you are a fool and a brute. If you love her she loves you back more, and nothing about you is so negative that it will destroy that love unless you are a fool and abuse her. 

Find a way to love her, she may appreciate the little things but now and then surprise her with a special gift or a special night. Sometimes shut up and hold her. Tell her what she already knows that you, need, want, and love her don't assume she knows and it is never said too much.

She may be hard to find or nearby you should learn to read the signs of her interest.

Sometimes she may find you.

Be honest and true in every kind of relationship but especially a monogamous one.