Hello, my Friends,
Things develop in this world as if they are controlled by outside forces. So it is like this: Every woman I was interested in seemed not to be interested in me. Then some women were interested in me, but the feelings were not mutual. So you go along your merry way and find a woman and things seem to go according to plans (Girls this also applies to your efforts and experiences too). Whether you have a partner or are still searching along comes a relationship not expected. One situation: Having a combative exchange with a woman who scammed me. Back and forth for months. Solutions not kept. In all this, she enters a vacant room in my heart. The turmoil turns more like a lover's quarreling. Your heart is broken then she fixes it then breaks it (or by some foolishness, you self-inflict a broken heart). Now you realize it is love. She seems to be in love with you but like forces in a tale like Romeo and Juliette you two just can not get together.
The mere thought of her excites you. Seeing her name excites you. Reading her messages excites you. Never being able to meet destroys you. Teenage love? Infatuation that took months to grow? But I am 76 years old how can this be? I feel both cursed and blessed. I can deal with it but like all the lovers in my past, she will always have a room in my heart.
The relationship is still pending. Complete with plans that may happen or may not. You all know my circumstances as a caregiver for my seriously ill wife. I will not abandon her. Why am I on this site? I am entering a new world where I can love more than one woman and with my wife still living that is the case certainly. I may entertain and experiment with various permutations of relationships but sometime in the future, I want to return to a monogamous loving relationship sharing life with one woman. Whether it is the unnamed woman above or someone I have not yet met. But I refuse to let my love and desires die.