Hello to my readers,
Most of you know I am the sole caregiver for my wife, who has cognitive issues. Since my caregiving became the most intense and intricate, I have learned much—some from share groups, some from literature, and others from other sources. The one thing I wish to share today is a discovery that has made all the difference in how I feel about my taking care of her. Her disease destroyed much, and the toll on intimacy seemed to be among the first issues in relationships with friends and family. Since I never gave up, I have learned important lessons.
She has aphasia but understands much more than anyone imagined.
She was a woman who regarded touch as her primary mode of communication, and that remains true.
Dementia allows the sufferer to read body language, and she often strokes my head or back on a bad day for me.
Now that I have this knowledge, I am careful about how I take care of her physically. I brush her hair 101 times in the morning, and she seems to enjoy that. Of course, she can be rebellious as most Alzheimer's patients with baths and dressing, but with care, I can minimize the negative interactions. I also no longer give her the drug that is intended to reduce the angry type of mood. Instead, I hug, kiss, and tell her I love her, and her negative state diminishes, and there is no groggy-like after-effect from a med.
Now, here is my thought. I know she has never been a woman who used much makeup, but she did care about her appearance, and she seemed to enjoy me brushing her hair. She often looks at herself in the mirror, sometimes uttering words affected by aphasia. I want to try applying a little makeup on her face (no more than she ever applied herself) and observe her reaction. I already apply college cream to dry skin, and she has no problem with me doing that.
Do any of you have any experience along these lines? It is a form of intimacy with intrinsic benefits for her and me.
