Place yourself back when you were young, and the thought of finding the right soulmate filled your heart and mind. OK, some of us let our youthful hormones rule us, and we seemed out of control with sexual desire. However, even after a wild youth, a wild time in the army, and two marriages and two children, I finally settled down. Circumstances as to why my second marriage ended were outside the norm and affected by having a son with a serious heart defect. His mom, an RN, truly believed he would die young and left us.
Even in the most distracted years of my youth, I hoped for that one true love. Aside from the health issue of my son, the first two marriages were also in trouble because of things about me I failed to recognize clearly. That all changed when I became a single parent with my 18-month-old son and was gifted my 14-year-old Madonna clone daughter. Even her abusive boyfriend enlightened me. The stage was set for a new life.
My third wife, with a boy and a girl of her own, connected, and we repaired our two damaged households the best we could. The other parents were not as disciplined, so it was as if we were the bad guys many times, back to romantic love.
We began hardly knowing each other but were willing to learn, adaptive, and put an effort into communication. We shared many mutual experiences with our kids, but when just she and I focused on our relationship. We built trust and memories a little at a time and, over forty years, managed to avoid past mistakes, and we worked through challenges in child rearing, job losses, and almost losing our home twice. Yes, the forty-year shared journey that began with 'Let death do us part and remains so even as I care for her with amplified dementia (ADA).
No, it isn't happiness. It is a form of contentment, knowing I can keep my word without receiving any benefit beyond that.
