What moment in your life do you think shaped you the most in BDSM?
When I first became involved in the lifestyle, I was introduced to the world of Gor. By chance, I stumbled upon a Gorean chat room that was labeled as an "Auction House." To this day, I’m not entirely sure why I entered, but that moment set the course for my journey. It eventually led me to Mitch, the second Gorean Master I served. I spent eight years on and off with him and his House. Through a combination of dedicated study of the novels, rigorous training, and striving to always be pleasing, I earned the title of First Girl among a chain of eight women. An achievement that required immense effort and commitment. At the time, Mitch and I were in a long distance relationship, but in every sense, I was fully his, serving as a Kajira.
That was, until he asked me to marry him.
At that point in my life, I had no desire to marry again. Having been married once before, albeit for reasons other than romance, left me feeling utterly trapped and suffocated. But that’s a story for another time. After much discussion, Mitch and I agreed to end our dynamic. He asked me to remain as the First Girl of the House until I could train one of the others to take my place. During this period, he introduced us to Cnea, a new girl he had met through a video game, who became Girl Number Nine. Mitch and Cnea then began to form a real life Master/slave dynamic. However, Cnea refused to adhere to the established protocols or the chain of command within the House. When this was brought to Mitch’s attention, he decided she didn't need to follow the same rules the other Kajirae were bound by.
And just like that, the other girls and I decided to leave him.
I felt utterly lost after that. I had no idea what to do or where to go. At my core, I’ve always been a Kajira, but that experience left a bitter taste when it came to Gor. It was then that I decided to explore other avenues. I began researching BDSM and other dynamics, which eventually led me to Sir Seven. We began talking, and he offered to mentor me. The mentorship was long and demanding, but I remained committed. Despite Sir Seven often expressing his doubts. Saying he didn’t think I would complete the mentorship or truly embrace submission, believing my personality and mindset were far too Dominant. Here I am today: a full TPE, Gorean Leathergirl. I take great pride in this identity and in continuing my journey, even as a Kajira with a Dominant personality.
Through Sir Seven's unwavering dedication to my training and guidance, he set me on a truly transformative path. I learned about my rights to consent, boundaries, safewords, and so much more. Because of him, I began to approach this world with greater seriousness, and I started to grow, not only as a person within this lifestyle but, more importantly, as a slave. He helped me rediscover my love for teaching, and once I had completed my mentorship, I eagerly absorbed every bit of knowledge I could find. I eventually began mentoring other submissive women. Some in traditional TPE M/s dynamics and others as Gorean Kajirae. It is incredible to me how Sir Seven reignited that passion within me. At one point in my life, I had been a teacher but left to pursue a different career in the vanilla world. Now, education is my life. I mentor, I teach, I write, and I do my best to educate others in this beautiful world of BDSM. All because one person recognized something in me and pointed me toward a new path.
I will forever love and cherish him as one of the most significant people to have ever entered my life.
Sir Seven eventually found a slave of his own, and as a result, he stepped back from everyone. He and his partner established their homestead, went off the grid, and as far as I know, they are living their best life. I miss him, but because of the invaluable teachings he imparted, I was able to find my own path and dynamic. That is how I met Damon, my Gorean Leatherman. I have been with Damon happily for the past nine years. We’ve grown tremendously together, and he has accepted every part of me. He never faltered when I set boundaries or insisted on safewords. He understood my needs, and when he realized there were some he couldn’t fulfill, he supported the idea of expanding our dynamic and helped me find Calvin. Now, I belong to two amazing Gorean Leathermen, and I live a full TPE Gorean Leather lifestyle. I have never been happier than I am serving both of them. They encourage me to teach, to mentor, to write. They want me to have a voice, and when the outside world’s whispers grow too loud, they shield and protect me, constantly reminding me that, in all my beautiful imperfections, I am their chosen slave.
My life may not be understood by others, and we may never be fully accepted in the Gorean lifestyle or any other community. But that will never matter to me. I love them. I chose them, and they chose me. I am happy, and I will never sacrifice that peace for anyone in this world.
That’s how my journey shifted. One pivotal moment that changed everything. What’s your moment?