Once you’ve finished the vetting process, had the long and sometimes awkward talks about wants, needs, desires, rules, and protocols, and finally signed that contract, or given your word in a verbal agreement, something important shifts. A level of expectation is now set.
You’ve both agreed to the parameters of your dynamic. Safewords are in place, if you choose to use them. Hard limits are clearly stated and respected. The boundaries are drawn, and the control has been defined, what will be given, what will be kept, and what is off limits.
So now what?
Now, the Dominant must lead and guide. The submissive must surrender and obey, to the very best of their ability. Because here’s the thing, this isn’t Burger King. You don’t get to have it your way every single time, just because you feel uncomfortable giving up control. And as a Dominant, you don’t get to throw the coloring book away when you don’t like staying inside the agreed upon lines.
D/s and M/s relationships are two way streets. The Dominant or Master gets their needs met as laid out in the contract or agreement. The submissive or slave gets their needs met and their boundaries respected. Both sides are important. Both sides are necessary.
We don’t get to throw out the agreements just because a moment feels uncomfortable. If we were comfortable all the time, we’d never grow, neither as individuals nor in our roles. Discomfort can be where we find our greatest lessons, our deepest connections, and our truest submission or leadership.
When you’ve agreed to the dynamic, you’ve agreed to show up for it. Fully. Not only in the sweet moments, but in the challenging ones too. That’s where the beauty of the exchange really lives.
So, I’ll keep showing up, kneeling when I’m told (even when I am upset), speaking when I’m asked, and offering every soft, stubborn, trembling piece of myself that I promised to give. I’ll follow the rules we set, lean into the lessons you lead me through, and trust you to hold the lines we drew together. Because that’s what I agreed to, and honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way. After all, I’m not here to rewrite the script, I’m here to play my part, beautifully, obediently, and just for you.