ElseWeb, there was a conversation around dominants and their voices - specifically what words and phrases gave each sub particular tingles.
I made the point that, in my experience, the words themselves weren't particularly important. Rather the intent and tone behind the words were, for me, where the actual Dom bit resided.
In fact, I said, there is a temptation for a Dom to use particular vocabulary - big words, if you like - and perhaps an archaic turn of phrase to suggest an intellectual or academic superiority, to season the Dom's authority with the spice of intellectualism.
Yet, often keeping communication simple and direct has greater effect. At least, that is my experience.
My friend then told me that was a very apt description of the vibe she got from me. That set us talking.
Then I elaborated - again, all this is purely my opinion and I'm very far from an authority on such things - if you'll pardon the pun.
There's a kinda tell that inexperienced Dom's have - and that is when they feel they have to be strong , dominant and authoritative all the fucking time.
They're terrified of coming across as fake/weak so they can't back down on anything in any circumstance. Makes them a real chore to deal with.
We learn to be dominant so that we don't have to be dominant. Just like we learn to fight so we don't have to fight. That's cos the less you look like a victim, the less likely you are to be attacked.
With domination, it's slightly different. We learn to be a Dom, so that everything we do has domination in it. We don't have to wave our Dom flag and bark orders all the time - cos "the Dom bit" is there inside and is plain as day - for anyone with the eyes to see.
As ever, this is just my experience that has taught me this, YMMV.
