Inanna's Thoughts

I watched a fairly rare porn post on tumblr, there's a chance I'll find a link to it before I post it but you know how difficult Tumblr is.

I shall describe, Homemade, girl spread eagled on bed with ties allowing  a little wriggle  - bra and knickers still on. Her partner is kissing, licking and biting, squeezing and pushing, scratching and stroking her all over. He works up, kissing and whispering, he works down, at all times avoiding her vulva.  She's delightfully distraught, at one point he even insist she calms down and lies back.

He kisses the back of a knee that articulates a  wriggling leg and I think she cries out in tortured delight. I can't remember, by that point I was lost and throbbing myself . 

Simple sense play - edging  - touching everything except the obvious sweet spot. The Dom's face, confident but fun,  in control and enjoying his writhing sub but watching her reaction. Her increasing pleasure, frustration, increasing lack of control. Bliss.

I like the long play, in fact I think it's fair to say I need the long play. Want to torment me on Saturday evening? You will have to start the soft scene on the Tuesday before, I'll never really concentrate otherwise. I think I have a sort of creative and empathic ADHD. 

All the BDSM novels wax lyrical about how a sub need to let go of all her worries, smart women and busy minds - you will have seen the quote. Mmm..dare I say it? I don't need saving from my busy mind - I need a top to be more interesting to my than the range of thoughts I'm having about a photo idea or the Secret Cypher of the Ufonauts ( all hail the goblins) or if Derrida wrote poetry ( he makes up words) or artichokes - why?  After the after care - it's very possible I will be full of creativity and lacking the adoration a Dom might deserve. 

Not much more to add - I'm distracted by the interesting clouds and potential thunderstorm.

I'll add a photo to sweeten to deal of reading this far. (P.S I cant find a link to the clip but I'm 76inanna on tumblr.)

"Sex and art are the same thing."

Picasso

Imagine a meadow
Look to the treeline.
I'm there - hung between two stakes, bound at
ankle and wrist, outstretched.
The summer heat shimmer across the field.
Humidity blends with my sweat.
Each stroke of the flogger bites.
The steady rhythm
Up and
Down
My legs, my buttocks, my back.
I'm lost.
The desire to feel the lashes kiss my breasts
my stomach
my vulva
my face.
Denied.
It does not come.
Heat builds, pleasure and pain confused,
my tears spill as a hush in nature descends.

The rain falls in a hard defined line across the field.
cleansing, moving toward the tree line.
Spiked sharp stinging - thousands of tiny icy droplets burn my skin.
The flogging intensifies.
I let go.
Thunder.

Alpha Sub. The topic has come up recently and after a looking at some profiles I think I despair. I think some of you are actually after a housekeeper? Or a other?  Submissive wanted to serve, cook, clean, cum on command, live in a cupboard under the stairs like a kinky Harry Potter; I must be getting old, I'm exhausted before the whipping starts.

Then there's Harem - that's the other one; if it's just ( a man) you and just women it's a dionysian  fantasy and I think you would be horrified with a large group of women, the phrase "monstrous regiment" isn't without merit. I've never watched the bachelor but I've had it explained. Nope.

So what's wrong with me? Princess and Pea Syndrome? Maybe it's the crime of confidence,  I suspect its actual being brave and not feigning my interest in the mundane, which I can do standing on my head.  I need an hour to stare at a  piece of khadi paper before I can draw. 

So where does that leaves us? I've no idea, hence the bloody blog. 

"One must do violence to the object of one's desire;

when it surrenders, the pleasure is greater."

 

“When she's abandoned her moral center and teachings..

.when she's cast aside her facade of propriety and lady-like demeanor...

when I have so corrupted this fragile thing and brought out a writhing, mewling, bucking, wanton

whore for my enjoyment and pleasure.....enticing from within this feral lioness...

growling and scratching and biting...taking everything I dish out to her.....

at that moment she is never more beautiful to me.”

 

                                                       “It is only by way of pain one arrives at pleasure”

 

 

 

 

 

06/21

I think it might be too complicated to enjoy on here, the diary has to go somewhere, it being observed is part of the challenge, to find the space between. It's fair enough, this is a dedicated kink site, Master Dom Might Meaty and Kitty Cum Slut dont want to read about the philosophy of Derrida and heterodidactics - ( i don't know either but a muse does so I'm learning and I'll introduce the Muse later)

08/0621

I wrote a lovely piece, then deleted it because the site doesn't auto save and I'm in lazy habits. I draw, photo myself and anything else, am available for life drawing. The pandemic threw us all off course a little didn't it?I know I had to exchange one this erotic creativity for a more domestic one. But in the past few months the sensuality returns the creative ideas and of course a Muse - Derrida he will be called.

Derrida Academic, artist which is how we crossed paths and thinker- vanilla but loves de Sade ( I sniggered to - something delicious about those who are kinky and don't know appreciate it.) It doesn't matter intently - I know there's no point trying to make a Dom out of someone who has yet to decide themselves but his art is just...

I model and it's all very renaissance, my ass on the gallery wall. It's a long game, he has connections and I plan to get My Art on the gallery wall in the future. 

Funny though, that the photos I send can't be posted anywhere but adult sites, Derrida creates a "pastel on khadi paper 30cmx30cm"  and whatdoyouknow? 5000 followers on Twitter and and a display in New York. Blessed Day as they say.

Still not sexy is it?  Well it's still in that sensual  crush vanilla stage, what's there to say? I imagine pleasuring myself as he draws, being frigged with pastel coated fingers, deep kisses and black and white photography. It will pass. Unless he suddenly reveals himself to be the second coming of de Sade, which is unlikely as I think he might end up in a monastery, so he can study in silence.  I have other eroticisims but today is a Derrida day.

Until next time readers - the future belongs to ghosts.

A housekeeping post, it's been so long. 

Aims and where to put what.

Diary - I wonder if Nin would have been a massive blogger?

Ritual/ Energy/psychosexual with A.

Photos/art - here to put them and how?

I had probably best reread my previous blog posts...did I say anything about tentacles?

I just watched a hentai - by the reknowned Studio Fow - Kunoichi 2 to be precise, though I still prefer number one. 

A wonderful revelation for me to discover it wasn't just me who had strange, intense fantastical desires. Fantastical indeed - monsters, tentacles, orcs, demons, androids, semi sentient machines - all of them one way or another have featured at one time or another in my colourful sexual fantasies.

I always wondered why I felt so odd watching the film "Legend"  not for the pre orthodontic Cruise, no it was when Tim Curry filled the screen with his husky tones, red complexion, hooves and that damn head horn.  Flash Gorden has a lot to answer for too. (Absolutely no jokes about Flesh Gorden - Ok?)   Never mind a life long obssesion with bad sci fi, it left me with a desire to be strapped to a table and lashed like Princess Aura. The livid red stipes on her back made me feel woosy and warm.  There was a torture scene in the classic tv sci fi "V",  the girl was in a glass cylinder and "energy " rays were whizzing up and down as she convulsed. I was mesmerised and sincerely recall feeling very warm in my special place.  Remember the Spielberg movie Young Sherlock Holmes?  Where his beloved is mummified and carried aloft in a dark Egyption ritual, that one too, oh yes....

A lazy google search has informed me that "hentai" comes from the japanese hentai seiyoku - a "perverse sexual desire", however the original meaning in Japanese is a transformation or a metamorphosis. I find this fascinating and it resonates with me. It explains what I'm feeling when I'm enjoying myself to weird cartoon porn. The protagonist in my porn was indeed violated like a cum rag by an oversized monster yet simultaneously she transforms into an equally fantastical creature who finds another depth in her capability to feel pleasure and a power in her surrender. 

Silent in her hood 

Expectation burns her skin

Under Master's gaze. 

I bought a very simple hood over the winter break. The black materiel fits smoothly over my head and face leaving only my mouth uncovered.

Would I feel pouty, ignite my inner exhibitionist?

 I found myself rubbing my hands over encased head, delighting in slash of my mouth.

I have seen others do this and always wondered what it felt like: was it just a device used by the models to look enticing?

Apparently not for me. I was captivated with the material, the darkness, feeling faceless and open . My mouth was a source of heightened semsation and I craved a gag to satisfy.

Kneeling in nothing but the hood,it was a sense deeper than humiliation - humility maybe?  It makes me reflect more on the definitions we use to identify our tastes, which archetype we resonate the most with.

The question is often framed as "You want to be a slave?" as I learn more of my self I realise I am slave already - the Master may come and go but I am always slave.Wearing the hood simply reveals this aspect of myself. 

I played with a kinky hypnosis the other night - (please be aware of all the risks if you are tempted to try -  R.I.S.K after all ). I needed something to help me centreand help sleep so I used a particular track refered to as a "Slave Meditation".  I cannot remember the fine details which is the point afterall except for some simple statements.

"A slave has no past, a slave has no future.  A slave simply exist in the Present."          

I can still recall the pleasure at these words and the image of myself naked, kneeling, hooded and simple. Unconcerned with failures or success, simply 'being' until required, content in the knowledge that such obdience is service. 

This has stayed with me. I've reflected on it. It has brought me back to the core of submissive nature. why I find the notion of Master and slave so compelling. I need the absolute, the unequivocal.