little dragon(sub female)

Ginger's Nest

I am a girl, I red head who likes to self sabotage. What's new? Lol I've been on here awhile and haven't really invested. I've met some great people, some good people and some who should consider rethinking their choices in life. I am not perfect, but who is? I have up's and downs and a lot of inbetweens. I've never really had a blog, but let's see how this goes lol!

New to poly

3 years ago. April 17, 2021 at 3:26 AM

So, I've been part of a poly relationship for a few months now. At the beginning I was gung ho for it all. I was super happy and excited for my partner to find new people to possibly start a new relationship with both kink and vanilla alike. We had fun finding possible matches.

But its not as fun anymore... I'm frustrated and feel like I'm on the backburner all the time now. I also feel like I've become a chore for him and I'm not ok with that.

But I don't know what to do... should I try harder to find my own partners so that I'm not putting so much pressure on him? Do I just back off completely? Do I try to make things happen more? I'm so lost as to what I do.

He is the first person I've felt that zing with and I actually love him. Even when he pisses me off, I still can't help but have that feeling of "fuck, I love this man." Because of him I actually understand what those stupid romance movies are trying to portray, that feeling of just pure happiness, love, being the center of something.

You know when a bird is about to ruffle its feathers, that split second before where a vibration goes through starting at its chest? That's how I feel. Like I'm shaking out my feathers, about to take off. That feeling of utter freedom, the choice to do whatever i want.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Open to anything lol

Heero(dom male) - It's somewhat hard to say without knowing exactly *why* you feel this way. But I'd say the first thing would be to communicate how you're feeling to him. Going out and doing something else would only cover up the problem or take your mind off it.

3 years ago

OraclePollon(sub female){NotYours} - Unfortunately you are seeing the side people pretend doesn't exist in that lifestyle. Talking about it is the only way to adjust. Trying to navigate together. It is one of the hardest things to be good and comfortable at/in poly in any capacity. It is the dark side that some people just ignore and makes poly a bad place that "kinksters" (or newly divorced men who think they can now go and have 3 girlfriends) flock to and abuse.

Don't let it deter you if you are truly interested in the lifestyle, but you (both of you) will need to be able to express these things to your partner (s) and continuously adjust your parameters and rules. (IMHO. Disclaimer, I am not poly)

3 years ago

Max Heathen(other male) - As a Poly, I recommend being open and honest with you. Poly requires open communication and honesty with how you feel and why you feel that way. He may not realize the depth of what you are feeling. That's my recommendation. If he treats it dismissively then you have reason to truly question how he feels about you.

3 years ago

Max Heathen(other male) - open and honest with HIM* Sorry, typo lol

3 years ago

little dragon(sub female) - Thank you everyone. Your advice is helpful. I'm new to the true poly relationship style. I have grown a lot and become a LOT more vocal about feelings (eww lol) and what I need, but maybe I need to approach him in a different way 🤔

3 years ago

OraclePollon(sub female){NotYours} - You can do it!! And it can be beautiful!

3 years ago

sir james ladies(sub female){oh yes ple} - where to start? there are so many things not said in this blog. so I will start with the basics. first you start with the other sub and talk it all out with them. this Should have been done in the very beginning even before the Dom was involved. do you all live together? Is that what you eventually want it to go to? what are you both looking for in your Dom? once you figure out what you both want from him you can start to work together to meet your needs together. he is only one Dom trying to care for two subs this in itself is hard but if the sub's cant work together to make it easier on him in this case I do not see things getting any easier for the three of you. if you can send me a mail and we will try to help the three of you get through this. remember it is really about you all getting what you need.

3 years ago

little dragon(sub female) - @Sir James ladies, unfortunately I'm not a premium member sobi can't message you.
His other sub is extremely new to the scene, he is her first dom and partner other than her husband. We do not live together and he actually lives 150km away from us, so he gets very little time while he's here. Right now I am very happy living alone, and I don't see it going that way.
He also has a few play partners that he sees once in awhile. A couple of them I have become friends with and we hang out platonically.

3 years ago

sir james ladies(sub female){oh yes ple} - oh I see he is more a protector helping you to learn the ropes so to speak. in this case I would advise that you keep looking and find a play partner as well. keep in mind that you should clear this with him. as your protector he should be willing to interview your potential play partners. that way you can still feel some safety in further explorations of the sub side as well as the poly feelings you may have.

3 years ago

AdamDragon(dom male) - This is a very good post.
As a Poly Master and House I have to agree with the ladies. But remember there are different levels of poly. Be sure to address the one that fits you and your dynamic best. There has to be more communication than ever before between everyone. And it can not be forced. If one or the other isn’t comfortable or in the same page it just doesn’t work. Transparency is prudent here. So be sure to ask and respond openly with no sugar coating. Good luck and hope you find that middle ground.

3 years ago

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little dragon​(sub female)

Ginger's Nest

New to poly

little dragon(sub female)