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4 years ago. July 5, 2020 at 11:51 PM

I posted this awhile back and got zero response - not exactly sure why but figured I would post it again.

 

I didn't know at the time, that was a thing - there was a name for it.

I only knew to try and manipulate the situation more to my liking - Fulfill my desires. "Do this - oh no, dont do that", etc. "Your doing it again", she said. "What Mistress?" "Topping from the bottom".  😏👈

To my knowledge,  there is no handbook "etiquette for mindset - while your tied up and being beat - for dummies" lol. Maybe there should be? (Reference to the series, not the person)

I must admit, I dont fully understand some dynamics of being submissive. I myself, by my nature, am dominant. I do know, however, what it is like to be submissive to someone, to feel submissive. One aspect I do not understand is, how submissive? 

Suppose the one dominating has a fetish for making his/her sub bark like a dog? All the time, bark like a dog. Would it/could it be fulfilling just knowing you are granting the wishes of your Dom/Domme? Or would a scenario like that leave you yourself wanting for something else? Is it established in advance what the submissive wants? Particulars I mean - Or is a good chemistry and just being submissive enough?

At what point do you say, "ya know, this isnt really what I want".?

I suppose in a perfect world, what the Dom/Domme prefers doing, matches what the sub likes having done to them.

 

Thoughts? Comments?

Literate Lycan​(dom male) - Great question Jack. I came to this lifestyle late in the game, already predisposed to being who I am. I see a lifetime of experience which lead me here. But a friend of mine from the Navy, a Senior Chief, described himself as submissive and the way he described his submission in various events he topped from the bottom. He was in charge - from the start to finish - even though he was “serving” whether it was for a female or male Dom - he was actually topping from the bottom because he was ALWAYS in charge of the scenario. I would say - it may not really matter - as long as both parties are in union. If a Dominant wants his submissive to always bark like a dog, then hopefully he or she has a submissive who likes to bark. I think the chemistry between the parties drives the responses. To paraphrase what you said, if the Dominant and submissive have done their homework, taken the time to get to know each other and they match, then the submission matches the Dominance, and they both get what they need from the other. It becomes the perfect world. The submissive finds they love providing what the Dominant wants, while the Dominant loves providing what the submissive wants. It’s a circle. Now understand I’ve been drinking Gin and Ginger Ale a bit tonight so take this all with a grain of salt. Have an excellent evening my friend.
4 years ago
Jack in the box -
Sea salt ok? Works better with my tequila 😏

This was an excellent response LL, thank you very much for sharing! 👍

Even with a bit of Gin, still quite literate ☺

I hope you have an excellent evening yourself. 🍻
4 years ago
Literate Lycan​(dom male) - Thank you my friend. I am glad you are writing.
4 years ago
Bunnie - This is something I am always wondering about too. It’s definitely not the best situation, but I can only “know” when I know... as in have been there and experienced something.
If I ever should find myself in a prolonged situation of being a barking dog... I shall come and share my thoughts :D
4 years ago
Jack in the box -
Lol, thank you Ms Bunnie, please do 😊
And thank you for commenting 🌹
4 years ago
HGB​(sub female){Scottish M} - I can't imagine being with someone that I wouldn't mesh with.
I can say there is a lot I missed around here in the past year. Timing of blogs with amout that come along right after posting one's blog can get buried real fast.
4 years ago
Jack in the box -
I imagine that is most likely what happened, lost in the blog sea ☺
Thank you for your comment Ms GoodBunny ⚘
4 years ago
Satindragon{Not Lookin} - As HGB said sometimes blogs get buried before some of us can see them.

Sometimes a submissive might agree to bark like a dog or take a paddling without discussing the length of time or the number of strikes. She might say I can only bark for a minute then I need a break. Or you need to go down some with the paddle you are hitting my back not my butt.

These are things that some might not know they need to discuss.
4 years ago
Jack in the box -
That makes sense - talk out the details, instead of being "blindly" submissive.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Ms SD ⚘
4 years ago
Satindragon{Not Lookin} - Especially if it is someone new. Until a Dominant learns your body there needs to be a lot of talking going on. Even if you have to use your safe word to fix something so that it is more tolerable.
4 years ago
Jack in the box -
Thats a very good point, safe word - I hadn't thought of that aspect when I originally wrote this. One could agree to say for example TPE, but not agree to "that" (fill in the blank).
I don't really want to go into details but I myself experienced a particular situation that always left me wondering if it should have been handled differently - on my part or both parts.

Again, thank you Ms SD ⚘
4 years ago
Cherry2000​(sub female) - I never want to overstep bounds as a submissive, but have found that most Dominants wants to please as well as control. Communication and sharing feelings is key to making sure that both are satisfied. I can give positive reinforcement to my Dom, letting him know when he does or asks for something that I particularly like.
4 years ago
Jack in the box -
That is also a very good point Ms Cherry, the desire to please on both sides. Thank you for sharing ⚘
4 years ago
Wayward Mouse​(sub female) - I agree that communication before is so important but so is after a session. Especially in the beginning or when trying something new. Sometimes you just don't know until you try it so there should be a time that you can be open with each other to talk about what was good or not so good.
4 years ago
Jack in the box -
Absolutely!
Thank you for sharing Ms Mouse ⚘
4 years ago
Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} - This is a great blog that should have everyone think for a moment. My personal opinion is this...

There are Tops and there are bottoms
There are Dom/mes and there are subs
There are also switches, Littles middles, Daddys, Mommy's Caregivers a like.

What it all boils down to, in my opinion is a Dynamic! There really isn't a dynamic between a Top and Bottom, because it's really just for scenes/play which has rules and such of course.

Being IN a dynamic is another thing... There has to be rules, expectations, outlines conversation and such, there had to be continuous communication of what one needs and vice versa. Not to say in a play scene this doesn't happen, however, in that scenario, play scene, if one steps out of the bounds of the negotiated , scene/play is stopped and discussed why, usually the end.

In a dynamic the same should happen, however, after the discussion, each learn and grow more together to build their relationship in their individual and dual wants and needs.

That's my two cents anyway!
4 years ago
Literate Lycan​(dom male) - That’s worth more like a dollar . . . A U.S. dollar . . . Just saying 😉 But you said that very, very well.
4 years ago
Jack in the box -
Agreed, very well said Ms Karyn 👍
Thank you so much for your input - much appreciated. ⚘
4 years ago
Water Lioness​(sub female) - The key word is NEGOTIATION. Before play can ever begin, there is honest, transparent negotiation on both sides. A complete understanding is reached between the Parties. What is accepted, what is merely tolerated to please the partner, and what limits, if breached, will violate the complete trust necessary to ever play together again. Once this is understood, the partners are completely free to function within this framework. Then, as the partnership grows with their knowledge of each other, the current limits can CONSENSUALLY be stretched.
4 years ago
Jack in the box -
Another great response 👍
Thank you Ms Pattyanne ⚘

Forgive the delay, somehow I missed this.
4 years ago

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