Name' sake

RedKat{Not now } - No, Jack...you seem like a fairly normal kink guy... I hope that the one that is meant for you will do exactly that...come to you. I am so over all this and I admire anyone that can hang in there. But, I am so conflicted... I wish you nothing but the best. Red

Jack in the box -
That is very sweet of you Ms RedKat, thank you. ☺⚘

Bunnie - You’re not missing out. I believe we attract the people who are right for us, in more ways than one. You’re right, she will come to you :)

Jack in the box -
Thank you Ms Bunnie. ☺
Thank you. ⚘

Bunnie -
I think what people often mistakenly overlook or even misunderstand, is the primal nature around how we meet. In most species within the animal kingdom, the males are beautiful and rich in display, and the females are rather plain Jane’s. The female sees a male who appeals to her and approaches without hesitation because she has decided that he is the one who’s gene she wants. This is where the confusion for us humans has come into it. We seem to believe that this takes away from the masculine desire for the hunt. Quite the contrary... the hunt begins after the female has presented her interest. The male has found his “prey” and his beautifully honed hunting skills narrow in on his girl... his instinct has kicked in to make her his... to possess her. I have a feeling you’ll get what I’m saying here on quite a deep level, Jack.

You only need to find one (if that’s your thing). The way I see it is by doing it how suits you, that in itself is already a “screening process.” We can never “miss out” on something that is meant for us, and I think the “missing out” mindset is what leads people into a sense of fear and greed. This process definitely requires something different of you. You need to be comfortable in your own skin, and you need to be willing to wait... possibly for a while. I’m much more of a quality over quantity mindset, and in establishing some of the foundational elements from the very beginning. I actually love that this feels comfortable for you, because it is a rare thing indeed, and one that for me signifies very positive characteristics :)

Jack in the box -
Bless you Ms Bunnie!
Thank you!! ⚘ 🤗

It is true what you say.
And so eloquently put.
Yes, deeply
Thank you. ~

HeyLittleOne​(sub female) - I believe that whatever feels right to you is the exact way that it should be done. You know what has worked for you, you know what hasn't - you simply need to believe that you're on the right path, and have faith that your path will bring you to your destiny, everything that you long for and deserve.
Fate plays a hand in all of our lives, and it will lead you to wherever you need to be; should that be a place or a person, I promise that you will find your way there.
Whether you choose to reach out first or wait for your person to find you, I don't believe it matters. If an earthquake is overdue, it won't matter if somebody sets off an explosion or if people leave the land completely untouched - it will happen no matter what.
Your love will find you, regardless if you have to tie them up and throw them over your shoulder, or if they come knocking on your door. Either way, I don't think you'd mind too much 😋

Jack in the box - I have been a fool to many, a questioning traveler, and leader of one. I do not profess to have all the answers, only experience - and more questions.
Fate, destiny, karma . . . ???
I dont know.
I wish I could.

Your words are beautiful Ms LittleOne, I will hold them close to my heart - thank you. ⚘

Jack in the box -
Hush, as a subtle cloud of contemplation slowly fills the room.
. . . . .
Hearts and minds reach across the void . . . .

Water Lioness​(sub female) - https://youtu.be/mr_A-NoP7-Q Just a thought.

Pam

Jack in the box -
Indeed
Thank you Ms Pam. ⚘

Maxorde{Not lookin} - I agree with you on all points! I, too, have met a lot of really cool people on this site and made more friends than on any other. I’ll not ‘ chase for the sake of chase’ anymore either. She’s out there. She will find you when she’s the right one. I’m sure that we all have the right one out there somewhere.

Jack in the box -
Thank you Mr Maxord. 👍
Perhaps a shift is due?

Maxorde{Not lookin} - Quite possibly,

Curiousmind​(sub female){Owned} - You seems like a great guy, Jack! I have enjoyed reading your blogs including the latest blog series “pieces of me” . Your creativity and art work is so beautiful. The right lady will come into your life at the right time. As they say : “the best things come to those who wait” 😊. Don’t lose hope. Meanwhile please continue to inspire us with your blogs, photography and art work 🌈🌹

Jack in the box -
Wow, thank you Ms CM - im flattered, thank you. ☺
That means alot to me. ⚘

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } - Hey "pop" ... I believe that when two people are in the right place in their journey for their right person . They will met. So keep moving on ur journey so that you can be your best . ( lol crazy hamster.. just put a show in my head ( dollhouse.. on it.. they " I try to be my best") ... where was I???

Oh yes... study things and continue to learn things I believe in all areas of life. Life is a path we travel, and it circle s and winds from here to there. We should grow as we travel.

And never fear ... I also believe that when we stop really looking and just have fun and grow. That just atm is when the right one to shows up.

Jack in the box -
Pop. 😊
It is a curious journey indeed Ms Alawey - thank you for your insight. ⚘
I have experienced this "when you least expect "
In the end - today - I bare my soul to the world and say "here I am! flaws and all " I will wait for her, always wait for her . . . . And strive to be my best me.
Its not been easy.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } - Also I might add . She just might show up some where off here. Grocery store, hardware store, ect... (even church for those that go.. [ there are those of us that are religious and kink) . * those cases might take a bit more time in the get to know phase. But it can happen.

Jack in the box -
Anything and everything is possible
Thank you ☺⚘

slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } - I can absolutely see where you are coming from, and that it fits for you is ALL THAT MATTERS.

I'll tell you that E reached out to me. Anyone who writes me a thoughtful, well intentioned, respectful message gets a reply. It may not be a "come hither" but a reply of equal effort and substance.
We recently discussed this. My original reply which met him in terms of substance and depth is what made him ** determined** to know me. I'm so very glad he did.
I asked him how many people he reached out to in his time, replied with similar substance. The answer was three. Not many percentage wise. Though he doesnt send out lots of messages. Only to folks who he sees real personal value in interacting with.
I guess I'm of the " nothing ventured nothing gained" camp. You could wait for her to come to you, but if you see a connection, why not offer a door or a hand.

Jack in the box -
The other side - thank you Ms Faith. ⚘
This is the heart of my questioning.

I once met a girl (how many great stories (or tragic) start like that?)
I was crazy about her, so I chased and chased - long and short -her mother taught her "make him chase you - show how much he wants you"

Jack in the box -
I should add - I won her heart 👍

(She later broke mine. 😑)

slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } - And that will happen. (she later broke mine (heart)).

The thing I keep remembering is that for ALL of us, every relationship prior to the last one you enter *ended*. There is nothing unique in that. "You either make yourself happy or you make yourself miserable. The only difference is in what you emphasize. The amount of work is the same." ~Carlos Castenada

Jack in the box -
"The amount of work is the same" 🤔

slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } - Totally, and that right there I think is what I'd hope you would come to in the end. It depends on the depth of your "attraction" by that I do not mean physical. i mean the pull of your inner self towards this person. If you "see" (read whatever) a woman who pulls at you and consistently so, I would hope you would NOT let such a decision hold you back. Maybe she has been taught by whoever that a submissive should not approach a Dominant. (Which is utter BS, years and years ago in most formal societies it was for the submissive to petition to serve a Dominant.)
No one person should put forth disproportionate effort at any stage of the relationship. My ex Master wrote an amazing piece on that three ish years ago. I have it saved somewhere and may ask his permission to put it back up someday. It likened the relationship to the trio of elements needed for a fire. It takes the right and intentional ratio of fuel, heat, and nourishment. Here's to you finding the "right mix".
You know I think you are amazing, Mr. Jack. Keep on keeping on.

Jack in the box -
Thank you Ms Faith. 😊
You are pretty amazing yourself. ⚘
I have addressed this in the past - although not "publicly" - I am no ones Dom, until I am - if I am. Some feel it is not very "subby" to be the one to reach out 1st.
But yes, that was yesterday.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } - Ughh.. that's only true statement for so long . .. ( what the mum sayed)

Just saying ...

For Wolf and I. I dont think either of us chased each other really. We met , talked , grew into a strong friendship, until one day we reliezed we wanted each other, which was love already on my end , and after meeting IRL was on his end . And now look almost 3 years since we we bought our house.

slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } - ^this.
We just realized that we really didn't WANT days we didnt talk. We didnt WANT days when we didn't see eachother's face and engage. Everything else just flowed from that.
He, like you, does not believe in chasing. Showing up absolutely. Stand at the line and either you are met, or you are not. It doesnt matter who stands at that line first... all that matters is if you can both consistently and intentionally find yourselves there. If you stand at that line and bring all you are and you are not met, then walk away. No gain, no loss.

Jack in the box -
The lucky ones. 😔
But alas! It is the lucky ones that inspire. ☺

Lion​(dom male){Hazel Eyes} - If you never try then how can you expect a result. Some times it takes effort in order to accomplish your goal. I was once told ask, the worst thing you may hear is No. Like the meme of the skeleton on the park bench waiting for Mr. Right, how long you willing to wait. I will say sometimes it's when you quit looking it finds you, but sometimes a good chase is kinda fun. Big hug my friend, best wishes to you. 😊

Jack in the box -
"Early bird gets the worm"
"He who waits .. . "
🤔
Lol
Thank you my friend -hugs back 😊

Literate Lycan​(dom male) - I would say continue on the path you are on, presenting the awesome individual you are. Hopefully the right one reaches out to you. In the meanwhile, if you do see someone who resonates with you (either through their blogs, their comments or their profile - or all the above) send them the private well-thought message and see if they respond. Yes, they may not respond in the least. But . . . If they read your profile, read your blogs and take a moment, they will see that regardless of anything else, you are extremely worthy of at least friendship. And friendship can be the foundation for so much more. Even if it doesn’t lead to anything more, friendship is great. And maybe someone will reach out to you too (and this blog as well as your profile sets that stage - very intelligent thinking).

You are concerned about being in the same line as the other 30 to 40 who message a submissive but your words and who you are will definitely set you apart from the asshats in line. If the recipient takes the time to value your message, they will see your worth. Just my thoughts. All the best - you deserve it.

Jack in the box -
Penned as only you can my friend - much respect. 🍻
Thank you, truly.

(Kindof at a loss for words . . . )

Literate Lycan​(dom male) - And based upon a conversation I’m having right now about your blog, it bears mentioning, that not all subs are receiving 30 to 40 messages per day. Some may receive one or two a day or week, so your message might definitely stand out and be very well received.

Joyous Chaos​(sub female) - I actually love this ❤️ Although reaching out can be terrifying to someone new to the lifestyle perhaps that should be the norm, not the exception.

Jack in the box -
Thank you Ms DarkNova. ☺⚘

I feel we (collectively) should set aside the "roles" , and at least in the introduction stage, just be people.
Years ago I was on a site that strictly upheld a certain etiquette - wasnt for me.
Just my opinion. 👍

Literate Lycan​(dom male) - As you indicated above and I wholeheartedly concur, roles aren’t established until they are established. Until then, we are just people being introduced to one another.

CinderellaOnTheRun​(sub female){protected} - Why I don't reach out first - Perspective from a sub point of view (Me, hehe. Not every sub/women has my point of view, this is only mine)

I have been chased more times than I count, from the age when I should have been playing with Barbie's and not trying to escape from dirty eyes, disgusting words and unwanted touches. Those are the chases I want to run away from and never look back.

Then there are the few (like yourself Jack) who's hearts is on their sleeves and their kindness and intriguing personality shines through. These men are the ones I want to allow to capture me in their chase.

This leads me to why I don't reach out (for me personally). I am very social but the shiest person on this planet earth when it comes to reaching out to others. On this site, I have only reached out to one person and, she was a sub. I am afraid of putting my heart first, I am afraid of rejection, I am afraid of giving him the power to think he can do anything because a female reached out first and expressed her interest. I am afraid I would be blamed if it doesn't work out, I am afraid he would deceive me, I am just simply afraid of doing it.

I am a preacher of eliminating societies stereotypes and the toxic roles associated with it. However, If he chases me, I know for sure I am wanted and I am not making him want me. He was so interested in me that he gathered courage and reached out! My heart would be bursting and my tummy would be doing cartwheels. He decided to forget about all the others who hurt him and have put all his faith in me, because he wants me that much. This is why I want him to reach out, because in my head and heart it makes me know for certain he really does want me. It might lead to more or just friendship, but for me I know I am wanted when he does it. I have begged for a man's love all my life, a man who was supposed to love me since the day I was born. I need to know that my future partner (Where the hell are you?!) is the one chasing me this time around. If he does I know I will give him my everything.

Voila, my personal perspective Jack, I hope it makes sense. Now coffee, because YES I have written this without my first cup of coffee!

Jack in the box -
Aawww sweet girl. *hugs*
Thank you so much. ⚘
Wow
Such pure heart. - thank you. ⚘

Jack in the box -
Honestly, I hesitated before posting this blog, for fear of negative response.
You guys are amazing! All of you!
Wow!
Thank you - my peeps. 😊

Sir Don​(dom male) - Hey Jack
My opinion is perhaps different from most,
Yes you are missing out. It only takes one message to find her. However if you never send it or reach out then she will never know if you are interested in her. She is probably being bombarded with the usual messages. A few that put the [ Not Looking ] in their brackets are tired of the fake , wannabe, not sincere Doms.
You on the other hand have the ability to reach out to the one or more (?) Because of the Gentleman Dom you are. So I think you know that sometimes you just have to take that chance. Your heart hurts because you believe in everyone.
So instead of sending a dick pic, send them a picture of your cats because who doesn't like a picture of a pussy or two. Okay after all of the eye rolls, you know you are unique and she is waiting for you....

Jack in the box -
Thank you my friend ☺
Valid points.
"Your heart hurts because you believe in everyone" - you may never know just how profoundly that hit home. . . .
Thank you Don.

Mama Bear JJ​(dom female){koa} - Agree with comments above about you doing what is right for you. BUT ... I would be remiss if I didn't point out that many women, myself included, don't reach out beyond friends only messages and the reason why.

You are right, we get hounded by messages daily, ones with no thought or interest in us personally behind them. And honestly, I think most of us don't bother responding to them at all, because it's usually clear that they sent the message out to everyone and aren't actually expecting a response.

When we (women who are actually interested in something real lol) put ourselves out there and actually reach out to a man we are interested in, we are the opposite. We put a lot of thought into our messages, we express legitimate interest based on what we have read or seen about you. We expect a response, even if it is just to say you aren't interested.

In my own experience ... I reached out first to a handful of men (ones active on the site with actual profiles lol), once upon a time when I was frustrated at the quality of messages I was getting. I pushed my social anxiety aside, I chose to be vulnerable and express interest, and I reached out with messages that couldn't possibly be misconstrued as anything other than legitimate and personalized interest. I didn't get a single response back, NOT ONE, not even a thanks but no thanks.

Because of those experiences, I will never put myself out there and be the first to reach out on this site ever again (other than, you know, if I'm already friends and messaging with that person ... hi Daddy lol👋).

And PSA for Dom's who receive the kind of messages I described above from a woman ... fucking respond even if it's a no FFS, because when you don't, it's not just an oh well and on to the next like it is when you try and fail, it hurts, it takes a temporary chip out of our confidence, and it makes us not want to try anymore. We are women, ahem ladies, treat us like we are 🤨

Jack in the box -
See? You see??
Same experience here.
(My name used to be "frustrated" lol)
Thank you Ms Jess. ☺⚘

Mama Bear JJ​(dom female){koa} - I would have responded Mr Jack 😊

And I never would have left you frustrated 😈😈😈

Lol sorry, had to. You know I 💕 you Mr Jack (AKA Jack the Ribber lol), ahem, in a purely platonic way ... of course. This is why I’m not allowed to comment right now🤣🤣🤣

Jack in the box -
😚🤗⚘

Jack in the box -
I forgot about ribber. 😁

Mama Bear JJ​(dom female){koa} - Can’t say no one ever wrote a poem about you ... it was a classic too, not just saying that cause I wrote it 🤣🤪🤣🤪🤣

Jack in the box -
Lol, this is true. 😊
Definitely one for the books

Mama Bear JJ​(dom female){koa} - Serial Splooger 🤣🤣🤣

https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=59247&postid=46770

For when you need a laugh, or to remember you are far better behaved than you think 😜

Jack in the box -
😊 thank you Ms Jess.

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} - The answer is usually "In the" question. 😜

I have not read everyone's comments, so if I am repeating - I apologize. To me, I would say this blog post in Itself IS reaching out, IS making first contact. You have out yourself out there, and that's good.

As for messaging. There may be be one who you just feel the need to reach out and you will. You may even already be messaging with her.

It's when we least expect it, it usually happens. You will.find her, she will find you. You will find each other when it is meant.

🌸💕🌸

Jack in the box -
Thank you Ms Karyn ☺⚘
It wasnt really my intention at first - but merely to answer publicly.
Being asked several times. (And possibly good topic for discussion )
I guess the end result was in fact, me putting myself out there, wasnt it?
☺

Master13​(dom male){MajesticLy} - Hey Jack.
Agree with most above and I am on the side of reaching out - I did a quick check ( could of missed it ) but did not see an add in the personals from you.

There are a lot of amazing people on the site and I am sure your going to find your match.
But just waiting it may take a lot longer.

I am sure there are a lot of ladies that would love to hear from you and you may be very surprised.

Good luck - hold your head high and get er done 😁😁😁😁

Jack in the box -
Get er done. Lol
Thank you M. ☺
I appreciate your comments 👍

I have an ad - was the 1st thing I did.
Ive never gotten a response from it tho.
I might maybe should check into that ? 🤔