Name' sake

intenseoldman​(dom male) - No brainer. Of course you're missing out. She's thinking the same thing. Unless you can chum her into your boat, you are ships passing in the night.

Women, especially subs, fear rejection more than men. (Just think about all the rejecting they do.) They aren't stupid. Why the fuck would they risk it when there's 40, as you say, waiting in line for them. They know the right one's going to show up eventually.

Just don't be the dick pic, the rude comment, or the idiot that doesn't even bother to read her profile, and you have a better chance than you think.

Read a profile that resonates with you? Message her, even if it seems like a long shot. You might be surprised. If nothing else, at least you'll know... not her.

(Out of curiosity, how many jumped in the boat last time you did this? 😉)

Jack in the box -
Quite a few actually 😏
But I respect your opinion, and right to speak it - thank you for participating on my blog 🙂🙏
Once in awhile I will reach out, and its never gotten me anywhere - other than thats how I met my current best friend. The girls ive been with reached out to me 😌

Jack in the box -
I might add, if you go back and look at the original post, it got one of the highest, if not the highest like count ive ever gotten on this site

Maxorde​(dom male) - Well said, Sir. I think that I will follow your lead on that.

Jack in the box -
Thank you my friend, much appreciate the compliment 🙂🍻
Keep in mind, by posting this blog, im publically opening the door to message me first. Purely not my intention but a rather handy side effect as it turned out 😏

Maxorde​(dom male) - Awesome!!!

Sir Don​(dom male){Not lookin} - Funny I remember this post and I stick to my original comment.
"Hey Jack
My opinion is perhaps different from most,
Yes you are missing out. It only takes one message to find her. However if you never send it or reach out then she will never know if you are interested in her. She is probably being bombarded with the usual messages. A few that put the [ Not Looking ] in their brackets are tired of the fake , wannabe, not sincere Doms.
You on the other hand have the ability to reach out to the one or more (?) Because of the Gentleman Dom you are. So I think you know that sometimes you just have to take that chance. Your heart hurts because you believe in everyone.
So instead of sending a dick pic, send them a picture of your cats because who doesn't like a picture of a pussy or two. Okay after all of the eye rolls, you know you are unique and she is waiting for you..."

Jack in the box -
Again, thank you Don 😏
I appreciate your views, and the compliments 🙂🍻

Jack in the box -
What did I say back then, "fuck off" ? 🤔
Lol Happy Sunday my good man ☕

Sir Don​(dom male){Not lookin} - Something to that effect..
Lol
I am preparing for a road trip...

Jack in the box -
I could give a check list, but im sure you are well aware, lol
An advanced, safe travels my friend 🙂🙏

Sir Don​(dom male){Not lookin} - I never leave home with it... if you catch my meaning

Sir Don​(dom male){Not lookin} - Without it

Blondie​(sub female){Collared} - I have had a few online dynamics and it has been a mixture of me reaching out first and them being the first to message.

I have to admit that when I messaged first, it was usually to offer some sort of encouragement or practical help. I am shy and not the sort to start many conversations. I also feel that it isn’t a submissive trait to be forward and initiate anything with a Dom.

I do like commenting on blogs, as they invite conversation that has been initiated by others. My encouragement to you is to do what makes you happy and comfortable. The right person will find you when the time is right.

Jack in the box -
Aaaww, thank you Ms Blondie 😘🤗🌹

You bring up the point "submissive trait"

Allow me to expound on my blog because, well - I like that word 😏
In the beginning I was rather quiet on here, just observing - (I dont remember if my profile had pictures back then)
Once in awhile I would message someone - no response. I was actually giving up (keep in mind, this site was fairly new att)
so in my frustration I just started randomly sending "hi" - show of hands girls, how many would roll their eyes and delete?
I got one response - shes now my best friend - been years 😏
Anyway, fast forward - when I 'would' get the odd inbox, they ALWAYS appologized for the intrusion. Why??
Im not your Dom 🤔
On the other hand (like that song)
we all state and know submission has to be earned - all the girls talk about "dont come at me like you own me!" Right? We hear it constantly. So it seems a double standard of sorts. Dont come at me as a submissive.
IE "new world standards, old world modality"
It got me thinking, thus my blog then and now.

Blondie​(sub female){Collared} - I can only answer for me, but when I found a profile that attracted me and I wanted to reach out, I already found myself in a submissive type attitude towards that Dom. It’s hard to feel bold and submissive at the same time. That may be why others have always apologized for the intrusion as well.

Jack in the box -
Very good point young lady, thank you 🤗🌹

Blondie​(sub female){Collared} - You are very welcome! 😉

GiannaRay​(sub female) - I agree with Blondie. I am also shy at times and exploring submissive tendencies can be confusing. My profile I feel gives a good idea of what type of person I am. I can’t say I’ve never reached out, but I tend to feel that if a Dom was interested in me that he would reach out to me.

Jack in the box -
Well, thats not what you said when you sent me those nudes right off the bat Ms G 😏
KIDDING PEOPLE!!! Oh em gee!
Thank you so much for participating pretty lady, and I hope you are having a fine Sunday 😘🙏🌹

Innocent Me​(sub female){Protected} - Hmm...I don't know that I should even be commenting, I don't really feel as though most of my ideas/thoughts/feelings align with the majority of submissives in the world.

First off, I agree with my Daddy..."just don't be the dick pic, the rude comment, or the idiot that doesn't even bother to read her profile, and you have a better chance than you think."

I deleted my first account about a year/year and a half ago because of the overwhelming messages, I was new and it was a lot to take in. I came back this time around, a little more prepared for the assault on my inbox. I was actually on the brink of just accepting I wasn't going to find a man of any substance on this site...when...enter Daddy:

"You're a rare gem..." then reasons why he appreciated me from what he read in my profile at the time....then his closing statements and "Any chance you'd want to get to know a man like me?"

That caught my eye, it was so different than what anyone else had ever sent me. It was honest and simple....adorable as heck...and sweet. If he'd never messaged me we would never have met. I have never once reached out to a dom, as Blondie commented, " I am shy and not the sort to start many conversations. I also feel that it isn’t a submissive trait to be forward and initiate anything with a Dom." As my Daddy said, we would've been two ships passing in the night.

I have another opinion on the whole "don't come at me like you own me!". I might get chased off this website, but I believe some submissives have become too defensive about how someone approaches them/what one says to them/etc. Again, this is just MY OPINION. I'm not saying anyone is wrong, and I believe everyone has the right to decide their boundaries and what makes them comfortable/uncomfortable. I'm just saying, I'm on this site as a submissive...it's who I am through and through. When I speak to a dom I am not going to act as though I'm HIS submissive, but I will act submissive in general to a certain degree because my view on the world is to give respect to others. Even if I don't like you, I'm not going to be a raging b*tch. I have a minimum level of respect I show everyone because....well, I hope people would give that respect back to me. I understand doms are men who are generally more dominant...so it's going to show in their personality, I'm not going to crucify them for the little things that surface in a conversation. Even when a dom messages me something wildly inappropriate, I've heard so many horror stories of submissives getting into arguments and reporting doms etc. I will respond to an inappropriate message with a level response of something like, "I appreciate that's your kink and I hope you find the girl you're looking for but unfortunately I am not her. I wish you the best on your journey" I've never had someone send me a message back cussing at me or name calling me. They've all apologized profusely, thanked me for the kind words, wished me well also and been on their way. I understand why submissives can be defensive after hearing some of the horror stories, and I respect whatever decision every submissive makes....I choose my own path and that is the path of treating everyone with respect.

Anyways, write a blog get a novel from me. Hehe....you're a great guy Jack, any girl would be lucky to have you as a dom. You will find her. The right girl will appreciate your message and see you. Don't give up. In case you haven't noticed, you're a very likable guy...any girl who ignores you and writes you off is missing out. Plus, you're a little weird...remember? Gotta wait for the right one that can match that level of weirdness. Haha <3

Innocent Me​(sub female){Protected} - I didn't mean to imply that other submissives don't treat everyone with respect, just speaking about myself. Probably should've proofread my comment. Oh well, lol.

Jack in the box -
Well thank you Ms Estaria, I think im actually blushing ☺️
What kind words 🤗
Can I use that on my resume?
And please dont feel your words/feelings matter any less than anyone else, be
un-appologetically you 🙏
If it is how you feel, yes - say it!
again, thank you 😘🌹

Sir Don​(dom male){Not lookin} - Okay now HR gets involved
Lmao

Jack in the box - 😁

dollMaker​(dom male) - Not sure why I neither loved nor left a comment on your first blog related to this topic, I too generally don't make approaches and I agree that doing one's thing, being authentic, and genuine to ones energy, attracts those who relate to and want to be involved with it.

I have attracted a few lovely people here, some not so much, one tries to live and learn to recognise those who will bring nice exchange, or will not, despite initial nice experience. I am still working on this, the last approach made turned out to be made by a ghoster - I didn't see, or suspect that would be the case.

I hope you find your one, or ones, here or elsewhere.

Jack in the box -
Never too late to go back and leave a comment 😏
Kidding, of course, lol
Thank you for weighing in my friend, much appreciated 🙂🍻
And thank you for the well wishes
(btw, I already have girls ive never talked to before messaging me 😁)

S D - It is a slippery slope for sure. Are you damned if you do OR damned if you don't? Or damned if you do AND damned if you don't?
I am aware that subs here suffer the slings and arrows of the advances by nuts, sneaky cheaters, the rude, arrogant and basically dangerous characters frankly....they are cautious with good reason.
I don't see any issue with waiting for someone to reach out to you first if it's working for you. I certainly don't have a relevant counterpoint.
Good luck to you Mr. Jack.

Jack in the box -
Thank you My friend, much appreciated 🙂🍻
(see the end of my above comment, lol)

S D - Lol..there you go.

Sweet Ginger​(sub female){⚓ } - Jack in time I'm sure you will find your one..whoever she may be..if I just may make a little suggestion that I feel too often happens here. When contacting people why not just mail those of interest and just see what flows organically..without all the pressure of what may or may not happen..first before anything really there should be friendship and compatability ..feelings grow with time as one people get to know one another..anyways, just my two cents..

Sir Don​(dom male){Not lookin} - So Sweet Ginger I wait with baited breath.... lol. Jus sayin 🤷♂️

Sweet Ginger​(sub female){⚓ } - 😮 😲 I hope you are doing well today..unfortunately, many on here seem to jump from one relationship to another without time to reflect and heal..just my own observations over the years.. I have no doubt that your special someone is out there for you..perhaps even reading this who knows...always wishing you and FF the very best wherever your journeys take you! Take care my friend. 🌹

Jack in the box -
As always Ms Ginger, your two cents are highly valued, and so thank you for saying. 😘 🌹
And yes, I agree 🙏
(im trying to figure out why some of the comments are missing)

Sweet Ginger​(sub female){⚓ } - Thanks, Jack

sexycurves​(switch female) - I very rarely reach out to anyone on here by message. I'm more likely to comment on blogs or in the chat room.

I have had a fair few messages, some nice, others not so. It's just the way it goes sometimes.

The reason I don't message often is mainly because I don't know what to say! I'm the same in person. But those that I've messaged have resulted in good conversations and I consider some of them as real friends.

Jack in the box -
Perhaps Ms Sexy, learning what to say?
it is, afterall, learning ones self.
As always, I greatly appreciate your input, thank you 😘🙏🌹
(nice curves btw 😍)

sexycurves​(switch female) - Thanks. It's definitely easier on here because I have time to get my words right. In person, and in real time online, it's only when I'm comfortable that I find it easier to chat

FlitterFly​(sub female) - Mr. Jack,
My opinion is to try not to write off sending the first message compleatly.
If you read a profile that pulls at those strings of yours.
Try and go in being fully YOU.
Just a hi with some won't work.
I try to answer all messages, but that's me.
I love making new friends.
I like a witty remark.
Also I read profiles on all the people I speak with.
Man and woman alike.
For me, when I read a profile that is genuine and speaks to me, I tend to send a message telling someone how good it was, or what I found so interesting in it. Or tell them that it spoke to me.
Now as for you messaging first or not.
I really don't think that matters much.
But also try to be open to messaging someone, who may not feel comfortable like allot of subs here.
You may have to message first.
But those that are shy, may start, by talking and bantering with you on your blogs.
If you get along here and become friends, sometimes those friendships can turn into more.
But that's when you need to stop seeing all as just banter, and make that move in being not as playful and message a nice lady. Being real in asking her l, if she is into you as more then just friends.
Just my take.
Otherwise like others have stated, two ships passing.
All in all, if its your time, you will both feel that pull.
Wishing you all the luck in finding that special soul. 🤗

Jack in the box -
Tis true Ms Flitterbee, and so has indeed happened, yes. Friendly comment banter turned privately intiment.

But I must ask,

Whatum . . . .
What are you um . . . .
. . . .

😏

Thank you sweet girl, for your input on my blog 😘🤗🌹

FlitterFly​(sub female) - Hehehe you are so welcome.
And, since you are being such a good boy today.
I am wearing a smile. 😊
Thank You Mr. Jack...

Jack in the box - Nice 😏

Angel Wings​(sub female) - Can you imagine if both sides of the slash didn't reach out first? It would be quiet and boring.....wouldn't it? What we may be missing out on? I say if a person has an interest then go ahead and reach out. At the very least you may make a new friend or perhaps someone that needs to be blocked. I say don't let time slip by and go for it.

Jack in the box -
Might I say Ms Angel, your wings are absolutely stunning 😍
Well deserved, im sure 😘
And yes, I whole-heartedly agree.
Thank you for participating on my blog sweet girl 🤗🌹

Jack in the box -
Thank you all, my good peeps - who liked and/or commented on my blog here.
It is always so nice to see such participation
😌🙏
I respect and appreciate each and every one of you's views and opinions 🌹🍻