I thought I had the walk steady and perfected. Until I stumbled. I'm trying to walk the line between needs vs. wants. I'm not certain I can tell the difference any longer. The line is so blurred. My wants have become cravings that my body and mind need. My needs are starving to the point that I want them greedily. As the two tussle for dominance, I'm being given neither one. The empty space created when attention and affection cannot be found is filled with negativity. After so much time of not having positive interactions reciprocated, I become drawn to the dark nothingness that has filled the void of what used to bring me security and happiness. A smile, the warm feeling of a good morning text, the sensation of flesh to flesh contact, hearing his voice *swoon*, the high after an amazing session, those are all replaced by something that promises to be constant. Permanent. Everlasting. Even though the Dark Void isn't something I've ever reached for, it's the only presence that's reaching for me. I allow the Dark Void to envelope me into it's arms, hold me captive, and never release me. For here I am loved, needed, and desired.
5 years ago. October 17, 2018 at 11:49โฏAM
